Chapter 11

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Chapter 11: Just how are you gonna get up?

Constant hum. Beeping. The squeak of rubber soles on a tiled floor. Whispered conversations in low tones. Phones ringing. Laughter. Shouting. PA announcements. Unoiled wheels. Running water.

A woman's soft voice saying "Edward, can you hear me, dear? It's Mommy. It's going to be okay. You're going to be fine."

Another woman's voice "Time for your blood pressure check, Edward. How are you doing? Don't feel like talking to us yet?"

A man's voice "He's a stubborn one, huh? Should have woken up by now."

And another man "Goddamn it, this is taking too long. This is the best they can do with all the resources at their disposal? If only I could have taken him back home. We'd have had him up and walking already."

"The doctors said it would be dangerous to move him in his condition."

"That's bullshit. They're just covering their ass to avoid a malpractice suit. I'm a doctor too, and he's my son. Would I do anything that would endanger him?"

More humming and beeping. Chairs scraping across the floor. The hiss of air being hand pumped into a blood pressure cuff and then slowly released. Television -the news, maybe? Yet another male voice.

"Hey, Edward. I don't know if you can hear me. I spoke with Jasper today. He's doing all right. Still won't tell me anything. I haven't told him about what happened. I didn't know if you'd want me to. Maybe you can wake up and let me know if I should?"

I tried to focus on that voice, on those words. He was talking about Jasper. He had spoken with Jasper. But Jasper was gone. He left and he wasn't coming back. Was there something I could do to make him come back?

"Jasper," the voice was labored and raspy. It didn't sound anything like me. I felt a large hand clutching mine.

"No, Edward, it's Emmett. Can you hear me? Say something else. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me," the voice was urgent and excited. But it was no longer of interest to me. "Nurse, he said something. He spoke," this was not directed at me. I was confused. Nurse? Where was I? What happened?

Commotion. My hand was no longer held by the large hand. Other hands were grabbing me, touching and prodding, checking my pulse and blood pressure.

"Mr. Cullen, Edward, can you hear me? Can you say anything? Blink if you can hear me!" The voice was commanding, and I wanted to respond. With the greatest effort I briefly opened my eyes, but blinded by the sudden influx of light, I immediately forced them shut.

"Oh my God, what's happening?" my mother's voice from somewhere further away.

"He spoke and briefly opened his eyes," another woman explained.

"Let me in there. I have to see him, to speak to him," a sound of bodies shuffling and then her hand was on top of mine, her voice right at my ear. "Edward, Darling, it's Mommy. Can you hear me, baby?"

"Mom," my voice was still raspy. My mouth felt like cotton. My tongue was heavy, swollen. "Thirsty."

Another commotion, lots of movement. I winced as a cold object was placed against my lips, but the moisture felt good as it melted and I realized it was ice. I swallowed with some difficulty, my eyes still closed. The ice was taken away. "More!" I demanded, though it came out like a plea. Another piece was placed against my lips. I sucked it into my mouth, enjoying the cool liquid, swishing it around a bit before letting it slide down my throat.

Gradually, I became more aware of everything around me. I was lying down. I felt tired and weak. There were lots of people in the room and the fact that I was talking and sucking ice cubes seemed to have everyone excited.

"What happened?" I rasped out.

The answer didn't come immediately. Eventually, Mom spoke, her voice still hesitant. "There was an incident, a fight. You were hurt. Do you remember anything?"

I was starting to remember. Little flashes of memory were coming back: a guy and a girl; the guy coming towards me and throwing punches; new voices; boots; kicking; sirens.

"I remember," I admitted. "How bad is it? What's wrong with me?" I was trying to move my extremities, it seemed like I was able to move all my fingers and toes, but my left leg seemed to be immobilized. I tried to open my eyes again, very slowly and carefully. The light hurt, but my squinting protected my eyes until they had a chance to adjust.

"You had us scared for a while there, but you'll be all right. It will take a little while for you to heal and recover from the surgery, but in time you'll be right back to your old self."

"Nothing permanent?" I was slowly regaining my lucidity. I looked over at her. She looked tired and her eyes were red-rimmed.

"No, Darling," she put a cool hand on my cheek. "Thank God!" She watched me for a moment silently, and then shook her head as if she just remembered something. "Your friend, Emmett, is here. Would you like to say hello?" She got up and moved away before I could protest, only to be replaced by my hulking giant of a neighbor.

"Hey, Edward," he said, looking down at me awkwardly. "How're you feeling?"

With all the other people in the room, I couldn't give him the reply I wanted to. I attempted to shrug, but ended up wincing with pain instead.

"You scared them off?" I asked to confirm what I pretty much knew.

It was his turn to shrug. I turned my head away from him. Fucker. Always butting in where he didn't belong and wasn't welcome. I'd said all I intended to say to him today.

"Well, I'm sure you're still tired, and you need to talk to your parents and the doctors, so I'll go," I was sure Emmett was trying to explain away my rudeness to the other people in the room. I didn't help, not really caring what anyone thought of me or the situation. I only thanked God that it was him and not Seth. I could only imagine what would happen if my father saw my little fag neighbor in my room. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I wanted to tell him not to bother, but it wasn't worth the effort and aggravation. Even if he wasn't just being polite for the benefit of my mother, and actually did come the next day, I could always ignore him or tell him to go to hell then.

Mom was back at my side, smoothing back the hair off my forehead. "You must be tired, Dear. Dad stepped out for a while, but the nurse called him to tell him you're awake, so he'll be here soon. Your doctor is coming too. Do you feel up to talking to him?"

I nodded. "I guess," I said, hoping that I would be with it enough to have a conversation with the doctor. I wanted to know what was wrong with me, but I also felt so tired. My eyes started to close.

"So, Edward, you're awake," I recognized the voice. I'd heard it before, but I didn't know who it belonged to. "I'm Dr. Colby. How are you feeling? Any pain?"

"Only when I move," I answered honestly.

"Your muscles are stiff. You've been asleep for two days."

"Asleep?"

"You were severely injured. We had to do surgery and put you under. When the anesthesia wore off your body decided that you needed more time to recover. You were in a sort of coma. It's not unusual for that to happen for patients who had gone through a stressful ordeal. It's your body's natural way of keeping you sedated so that you could heal."

"I was in a coma? And what surgery? What's wrong with me?"

As he spoke, Dr. Colby reviewed my chart, checked the status on the machine monitors in the room, and finally checked my pulse. He motioned to one of the other people - nurses? - to bring him a rolling stool, which he pulled up to my bedside, opposite my mother.

"Do you remember what happened? Why you're here?"

"There was a fight in the parking lot. First just one guy, and then some more came by. I wasn't exactly winning."

Dr. Colby smiled ruefully. "No. I'm afraid the injuries you came in with were not those of a winner. Lots of contusions, of course, which means you won't look pretty for a while, but those are mostly temporary. We did have to stitch up a couple of cuts, but hopefully there won't be any bad scars. You had a concussion and you lost a tooth. You also have a tibia fracture, but it's closed and relatively simple, so it should heal well. You'll need to be in the long cast for 3-5 weeks, and then we'll put you in a short cast for another 2-3 months. Your right wrist is sprained, but that won't require any extensive treatment. You have a couple of broken ribs and bruised kidneys. You also came in with a collapsed lung and internal bleeding, which is why we needed to do surgery. Everything turned out fine, but we also found you'd been malnourished and had some liver damage. There was virtually nothing in your stomach and your blood alcohol level was extremely high. You're being fed intravenously now, but if you want to recover on a regular timetable, you're going to have to take care of yourself a lot better than you had been before you came in. Your body needs regular meals to have the energy to heal."

I closed my eyes. I didn't need to hear this lecture in front of my mother. "Can we talk about all this later?" I asked, my voice sounding as exhausted as I felt.

"Sure," Dr. Colby said. "We can discuss more details tomorrow."

"No, you cannot," my eyes popped open at the sound of my father's voice. "He's awake, which means he can sign the release forms so we can take him home to Forks."

"Dr. Cullen," Dr. Colby protested. "Edward just woke up. He is not in the right mental state to be making decisions about being discharged against his doctor's orders. We can talk about it again tomorrow morning, after he's had a chance to rest."

"Nonsense," Dad dismissed the objection as though it'd been offered by a receptionist. "He seems perfectly lucid. I want to take him home where I will make sure he gets proper care. Get the forms."

"Edward and I haven't even had a chance to discuss..."

"There's nothing to discuss. Get the forms. Edward will sign them and then we'll arrange for transportation back to Forks."

"Edward," Dr. Colby turned back to me. "You just woke up from a coma, albeit a short one. I think it would be best if you stayed here for observation for at least another night..."

"Dr. Colby, I think I know what's best for my son," my father interrupted.

"Carlisle," my mother's voice sounded soft and pleading.

"Dr. Cullen, with all due respect to your medical training and your relationship with the patient, Edward is an adult and entitled to hear and evaluate all the risks before he makes this decision."

"I want to stay," I said. Suddenly everyone was looking at me.

"What?" I could see the rage behind my father's eyes.

"I don't want to go anywhere today. I'm tired. I just want to go back to sleep. And I want to do that here. We can talk more about this tomorrow."

"Edward Cullen, you know damned well I have a demanding job and I'm needed back in Forks. I can't just take off for a week because my idiot son decided to let some punks beat him to a pulp in a bar parking lot. We have everything we need to treat your injuries in Forks. So just sign the forms and we're leaving today."

"No, Dad. If you have to go back, I understand. But I'm staying here tonight."

"Carlisle," my mother put her hand on his forearm, begging with her eyes. "It's just one more day. They can spare you in Forks for that long."

My father looked around the room, as if suddenly aware of all the people witnessing this exchange. A false calmness slid over his face to hide his anger. I had seen him do this before, but I knew him too well, and saw the rage still boiling in his eyes. "Fine. We'll discuss this again tomorrow," he turned to my mother. "Let's go."

"But visiting hours aren't over," she protested, "and he just woke up."

"And didn't he just say he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep? If we stay here we'll just be interfering with his rest," the words sounded caring, but I knew they were anything but. This was just the only punishment he could dole out to me here, in this public place. "Let's go." his voice was hard. I knew Mom wouldn't argue further.

"Get some rest, Edward," my father said over his shoulder as he left the room. "Tomorrow we are all going back to Forks."

I closed my eyes again, thoroughly exhausted by even that little showdown. At this point, absolutely the last thing I wanted to do was to go back to Forks. But even though I seemed to have won this battle, was I strong enough to win the war? Only time would tell.

"Edward," Dr. Colby was speaking to me again. "You should know that I would strongly recommend against you being moved out of Seattle right now. We are very well equipped here to deal with your condition and the long drive to Forks would not be comfortable for you, even if it didn't pose any medical risks, which is does."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I would really rather talk about all this tomorrow. I'm staying the night. That has to be good enough for now."

"All right," he nodded in understanding. "We'll leave you alone now so you can rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

He led the procession as all the medical personnel filed out of the room, closing the door behind them. It was almost quiet, though the noise of the medical equipment that before registered as mere background now became a major nuisance. I always hated hospitals, and I really didn't want to spend another minute in one, much less another night. But if the only alternative was to go back to Forks with my parents, then this was definitely the lesser of two evils.

I heard the door to the room open. Thoroughly annoyed, I turned to see who was disturbing me now. I was surprised to see Emmett.

"I thought you'd left," I croaked out, my throat once again dry.

"Let me get you some more ice chips," he left the room. I didn't really want to see him again, but the promise of ice chips was enough to keep my mouth shut. Besides, with no one else in the room, I could tell him not to bother coming back the next day.

Emmett returned with the ice chips and said nothing as he fed me a few. I chewed them in silence.

"So what are you still doing here?" I asked when I finally felt my throat had been sufficiently moistened.

"I see your injuries had no impact on your mood or manners," Emmett commented. I just glared at him, willing him to get to the point. "I was waiting for Seth. He's checking on a friend of his who was in a bad accident. Just one of those weeks, I guess. I saw your folks left and visiting hours aren't over yet, so I thought I'd keep you company."

"What makes you think I want company?"

"If you want me to leave just say so, I'll leave."

I opened my mouth to do just that but the words stuck in my throat. I realized I'd have the entire night in here alone. Bad company was better than no company at all. I closed my mouth and frowned. He gave me a few more ice chips.

"Edward, can you identify the guys who attacked you? The police took my statement, but I didn't get a good look at them. I just saw them from the back as they ran away."

I shook my head. "I was down by the time they got there. I never saw them. Why the hell did you have to interfere, anyway?"

"Jesus, Edward. How can you even say that? If I hadn't scared them off, they would have done more damage, maybe even killed you."

"That was the general idea," I muttered, turning away from him in anger.

"Wait, what?" he was suddenly alarmed. "What did you just say? Edward, did you...? Was that deliberate? Were you actually trying to..." he couldn't complete his sentences, but we both knew what he was alluding to.

"It's none of your business," I snapped. "Besides, what the hell do you care?"

"Edward, if you're trying to kill yourself, you need professional help. I'm gonna go talk to your doctor..."

"Did I say that?" My voice was surly, but inside I was panicking. The last thing I needed was for the doctors or my parents to think I was suicidal. I'd be put under observation, never be left alone. Shit, there'd be no way I could get out of going to Forks. All I needed was for this damn asshole to open his big mouth. "And what are you gonna tell them? That I was trying to commit suicide by another guy's fist? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"

He shook his head slowly. I could see he was weighing his options.

"I may not like you very much, but I don't wish you dead. Especially if I can do something to keep you alive."

"Look, it was just a stupid comment. If I really wanted to kill myself there are dozens of more effective ways. I mean sure, sometimes I think dying wouldn't be such a bad thing, but I never tried to kill myself," not that I had any compunction about lying to him, but that statement was true, which helped me sound all the more convincing. I wasn't exactly trying to kill myself that night. Killing yourself and getting yourself killed were completely different things.

Emmett sighed. "Edward, what's going on with you? You're barely home anymore. You look like crap. And when I see you on campus you're like a fucking ghost. You don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone. Is this still about Jasper? Because if it is, you have to let it go."

"Why?" I asked sharply. "Why do I have to let it go? Just because he let me go without a second thought or glance? Where is it written that I have to get over this as quickly as he did?"

"He's hardly over it," Emmett muttered. I looked up at him, filled with hope. If this was true, and Jasper wasn't over me, maybe there was still a chance.

"What do you mean, Emmett? Where is he? If I could just talk to him..."

"No," Emmett shook his head. "He doesn't want to talk to you."

"But why? I don't understand." I closed my eyes again in frustration.

"I can't tell you, Edward, because I don't know. He won't tell me anything. Do you want to tell me what happened? I know he's hurting and I can see you're hurting, but I can't help if I don't know what happened. He won't talk to me about it except for what he said when he was leaving, that you told him you wanted to be with him. But he always wanted that, so that alone wouldn't make him leave. Will you tell me what happened? Maybe I can make some sense out of it for you?"

I stared at him, feeling a heat spreading over my neck and face.

"You knew I told him I wanted to be with him?"

Emmett nodded.

"And you're not surprised?"

He smiled condescendingly. "To be surprised he'd have to have told me something I didn't already know. It's was obvious to me and Seth that you wanted Jasper since the day we met the two of you. I was surprised you finally admitted it, both to yourself and him. But that's about all."

I pressed a hand over my eyes. I didn't know what to make of all this information. It was too much to consider on the fly. My head was starting to ache.

"So are you going to tell me what happened? What did you do? What did you say?"

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it. It just started to throb more. Then I heard the room door open.

"You're still here, Emmy? Visiting hours are over. Oh!" I opened my eyes to look at Seth. "Hello, Edward," he said, his voice cool. "Looks like you're feeling better."

"Hi, Seth," I said, resigned. I should have known I would have to see him eventually.

"Gentlemen, it is time to go," A rotund nurse pushed her way into the room, nearly squashing Seth against the door. "The patient needs to get some rest. You can see him again tomorrow."

I couldn't believe it! How could this be happening now, when Emmett was going to help me figure things out? Jesus! Was this constant conspiracy against me never going to end?

"I don't need rest," I protested. "And we're just talking."

"Rules are rules, Mr. Cullen, and they're here for the good of everyone. If we let your visitors stay we'd have to let all the visitors stay, and then there'd be people milling around the hospital at all hours, disturbing the patients who do need the rest. I'm sure whatever it is you're talking about can wait until tomorrow."

Emmett stood up. "You do need rest, Edward. You still look exhausted. I'll be back tomorrow. We can talk then."

I wanted to protest. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring, other than another battle with my father. But I knew there would be no reasoning with the nurse, and Emmett seemed ready to leave too.

"My parents will be here tomorrow," I said. I hoped I didn't have to explain exactly what that meant.

"I'll try to come towards the end of the day, just like today."

I nodded and watched him join Seth in the doorway. Seth sent me a look, but didn't say anything. I remained silent as well as they walked out of sight.

"Time to check you vitals," the nurse said, and proceeded to go through the routine pulse and blood pressure check. "Is there anything you need?" she asked when she was done. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I certainly did have a need, but it was nothing she could help me with. I would just have to wait until Emmett could come back to maybe help me figure out what went wrong with Jasper and how to fix it. I fell asleep replaying my last night with Jas in my head, still looking for clues.

The following day Dr. Colby came over early in the morning and gave me all the reasons why he believed I should not be moved to Forks, at least not yet. I listened carefully, not because I gave a damn, but because I knew I would need all the ammunition I could get to shoot down my father's arguments for moving me back home. Though logic had never really stood in the way of my father's determination before. When he ordered something, that was it. My choice of schools was the only fight I ever won, and that was only because I was willing to put everything important to me on the line to do so. I had a feeling I would have to do that all over again if I wanted to stay in Seattle this time.

After talking to Dr. Colby, a nurse fitted me with crutches so that I could start moving around. It was awkward and painful, but I completed a couple of turns up and down the hall. I was amazed at how exhausting simple movement could be, and I wasn't looking forward to trying to maneuver around campus on these things, but I had little choice and lots of determination. Somehow or other, I had to make it work so I could stay in Seattle.

When my parents arrived and my father started raging, I hit him with every argument from Dr. Colby, and a major one of my own: I wanted to stay in school and finish out the term, which would be impossible to do in Forks. My father dismissed that one just as easily as he had the others. I could make up the term over the summer, he told me, not knowing, of course, that I already planned on making up some of the classes from the first term during that time. I didn't think cluing him in on my poor performance from the first term was going to help matters any, so I dug in my heels and stuck with the only argument that had any chance of working at all: I don't want to and I'm not going.

Mom was no help. At first, she actually agreed with Dad and tried to convince me to go back to Forks with them. I knew this was because she wanted to take care of me, but I was also pissed that she didn't realize what being back there, stuck in the same house with the two of them 24-7, would do to me. Eventually, she began to understand how strongly I felt and she stopped adding her own fuel to Dad's fire, but she sure as fuck didn't help me any, so as far as I was concerned she might as well not have been there.

After about an hour of shouting and arguing, with me getting tired, but not budging off my position, Dad finally gave up. I found it curious that the entire time he didn't use the most powerful argument he had, never once threatening to cut me off financially unless I did as he said, but then I supposed he knew that his money didn't do me any good incapacitated at his house, so from the financial standpoint even if he cut me off in Seattle, the two options would be the same. Maybe Forks would be more filled with creature comforts, but the caustic atmosphere would offset any of those benefits. And in any case, the whole topic of money never came up, for which I was very glad. I would have a hard enough time just getting around without worrying about paying rent, utilities and medical bills, and then figuring out how I'd be able to afford the summer term and the remaining years of college.

The sheer fury that radiated off my father when he'd realized I won filled the room with a negative energy that nearly made it hard to breathe. Fortunately, he wasn't a gracious loser who stuck around for the other player's celebration ceremony.

"Well, if you'd rather stay here than come home with your parents, then I guess we're done here. Let's go, Esme."

Mom looked up at him with surprise and alarm.

"Surely we can at least stay the day," she pleaded. "Or maybe I could stay a few days, just to help him settle back in at the apartment. I'd be back in Forks by the weekend."

"No," my father barked. "I'm not going to waste another minute of my time with this ingrate. I have to go to work tomorrow and I want to get back home early enough so we have time to unpack and settle in and get a good night's rest. Clearly your son doesn't feel he needs your help, so let him find out exactly how easy it's going to be handling everything on his own."

The implication was obvious. He didn't think I would be able to make it by myself, and imagined that I would go crawling back to Forks within a few days. I ground my teeth together but said nothing. Mom tried to change his mind, but he shot her down again.

"Didn't you hear him? Edward doesn't want you taking care of him Esme. Now, you have a house to keep in Forks and a husband who needs you even if your adult son doesn't. We're going home, right now, together, and that's final. You don't really want to push me on this one, do you?"

That exchange seemed to take all the wind out of Mom's sails. She picked up her purse and got out of the chair she'd been sitting in. She came up to the bed and kissed my forehead.

"I'm so happy to see you feeling better, Darling. Please take care of yourself, and I'll try to help whatever way I can," she spoke softly, so that my father wouldn't be able to hear her words. I looked at her, puzzled, wondering what she was talking about, but I sensed that with him in the room she wouldn't be able to say much. "Call me, Dear, every day. You know how much I'll worry if you don't."

"I will, mom. And don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll figure it all out."

"Let's go, Esme," Dad barked impatiently. She sighed, straightened up and followed him out of the room with one last sad look in my direction.

After they left I spent a long time looking out the window at the gray clouds. A part of me couldn't believe my parents just left me in the hospital, knowing I had no other friends or family in Seattle. Another part of me expected it, but there was still something about the whole thing that bothered me. My father not pulling the money trump card was a real puzzler, as was his last veiled threat to my mother. I couldn't figure it out, but there was something about his choice of words that was really ominous. "A husband who needs you even if your adult son doesn't." He'd placed an extra emphasis on the word adult, though for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

I must have dozed off thinking about my parents, because I was startled awake by Emmett's large hand being placed over mine.

"Hey," he said. "I think they're trying to switch you over to solid food now that you're awake. Your lunch is here."

"Huh?" I was momentarily disoriented, though everything came back pretty quickly as I looked around.

"Good afternoon, Edward," this nurse was friendly and considerably smaller than the one who threw out Emmett last night. "Dr. Colby said it's time for you to start eating on your own, so I brought you the finest our cafeteria has to offer."

I cast a doubtful eye over the contents of the tray.

"Well, the finest the cafeteria has to offer recovering patients, like you. We have to start you off slowly. But don't worry, you'll be back to eating pizza and hamburgers in no time."

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, staring at the food that could not have looked any less appealing.

"Now, Edward," the nurse leaned over the bed to look straight into my eyes. "We know you've been starving yourself for weeks. That cannot continue. In order for your stomach and liver and kidneys and bones to heal, you need proper nutrition. Every item on this tray has been selected especially for you by our staff nutritionist, and you need to eat it all. If you don't eat this and continue to eat your other meals so that we can see you're making an effort, Dr. Colby will be forced to use more aggressive methods to get you the nutrients you need. Believe me, you do not want him to have to do that."

I narrowed my eyes and set my lips in a thin line. I didn't take kindly to being threatened.

"You've been starving yourself for weeks?" I had forgotten he was there, so Emmett's question startled me.

"Of course not," I snapped. The nurse arched her brow. "I just haven't been very hungry. Just like I'm not hungry now."

"I think I'd better go have that talk with the doctor," Emmett's voice was calm. Only he and I knew the underlying threat in what he had said. I huffed in exasperation, but I knew I'd been outmaneuvered. I couldn't have Emmett running over to the doctor, telling him I was suicidal.

"Fine, I'll eat," I pulled the tray over and started to eat the bland, nearly tasteless crap the hospital called food.

The nurse and Emmett both watched me until I finished every bite.

"Good job, Edward. That wasn't so bad, was it?" she bent down to retrieve the tray, leaning close to my ear in the process. "Your boyfriend is very handsome and he seems really caring. You're a lucky guy."

I jerked away from her and stared at her with terror. "He's not my boyfriend. He's my neighbor. Jesus!"

The nurse straightened and flushed. "Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I just thought... I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

She grabbed the tray and walked quickly out of the room. I glared at Emmett, who was trying to hide a smirk. Finally he stopped trying and broke out into a wide grin.

"Come on, Baby, how long are you gonna keep our love a secret?"

"Shut up, Emmett," I snapped. "As if I could ever be interested in you. I'm not gay, for fuck's sake, and if I was I'd like to think I had better taste."

His face clouded. Great! He was gonna get all touchy and offended now.

"What do you mean you're not gay?" I expected a more personal retort, so the question caught me off guard.

"What does it sound like I mean? I'm not queer like you and Seth."

"What about Jasper?"

My heart sank. Somehow in all the afternoon conversation I had managed to push Jasper to the back of my mind. I felt terrible about it now.

"Are you queer like Jasper?"

I furrowed my brow. "No," my voice was much less decisive and confident than it had been a minute before.

"I don't understand. I thought you told him you wanted to be with him." Emmett was confused, but his voice also held an undertone of anger.

"I did. I mean I do want to be with him. But only with him. Not with men. Just him. I'm not gay."

"And did you share that little tidbit of news with Jasper? Maybe while you were emphasizing how much you hate gays?" The frown on his face made it clear that this would have been a mistake. But I didn't do that. I paused and replayed the memory in my head, every word, every detail. No. I hadn't said anything about hating gays.

"I didn't, Emmett. I really didn't. I just told him I wanted more than to be just a friend."

He sighed, and settled deep into the visitor's chair. "Why don't you just tell me everything that happened, as best as you can remember it? Don't leave out any details, even if you think they're minor. No offense, but clearly you're not the best judge of what is or is not important."

I screwed up my face, hating that he was treating me like an idiot. Emmett just stared at me, and I suddenly remembered that he was doing me a favor, and that it was more than he had been willing to do before, and that I had better take advantage of this before I managed to alienate him again. Without further delay, I launched into an explanation of everything that happened the last day I saw Jasper, including his conversation with Jerry and our drive back home. He didn't interrupt, just listened intently until I finally reached the end of the story. Even then, he didn't say anything, seemingly lost in thought. I stayed silent as long as I could, but finally I had to ask.

"So, what do you think? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"

Emmett massaged his chin with the fingers of his right hand. "I don't know," he shook his head for emphasis. "I'll have to think about it more. Try to see it from his point of view," he looked at me thoughtfully. "Edward, how do you feel about Jasper?"

I stared at him. Hadn't I just spent over an hour telling him how I felt? Was he really that dense?

"I mean, I know you wanted to be more than friends, I know you wanted to sleep with him and fuck him, but how do you feel about him?"

"I love him," I replied instinctively, then stopped. This was the first time I'd ever said those words out loud.

"But you didn't tell him that?"

I shook my head.

"Why not?"

It was a fair question. I thought I had a good reason, but now, with the possibility that I might never speak to him again, I wished more than anything that I had told him. His reaction to that could not have been worse than what actually happened.

"I didn't think he'd believe me," I said. "I've never really felt that way about anyone but him. And I didn't want him to think I was just saying it to get him to have sex." I ran my hand through my hair. I felt liquid pooling in my eyes. "Emmett?" I looked at him, pleading. "He won't talk to me, but he talks to you. Will you tell him I love him? Please? Tell him I'm sorry for whatever it was I did. If he just tells me what it was, I can change it. I will change it. I just need him back, Emmett. Please!" I was crying in earnest now, but I didn't care anymore. Emmett was the only one who could help me, and I wasn't above begging.

He stood up and walked to the bed, then leaned over to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him, sobbing loudly into his chest. He didn't say anything, just held me and ran his hand over my back until I finally cried myself out. Only then did he finally release me and sat back to his chair.

"Please, Emmett, will you tell him?" I asked again and sniffled. He shook his head.

"I don't think I should be the one to tell him all that. Besides, I'm not even sure how he'd react to the fact that we're talking. He's not acting like himself at all right now. Maybe it's the James thing - some sort of delayed reaction? I don't know. Like I told you, he won't tell me anything. But I'll keep trying. Maybe some time down the road he'll change his mind. At least now I know you weren't trying to harm him."

"Harm him? Of course not! I would never..." I saw Emmett watching me with a raised brow, reminding me of the way I acted when Jas came out. "I've changed," I said defensively.

"You have, a little," Emmett acknowledged. "You still have a ways to go." We were both silent for a long while.

"So where are your parents, anyway?" he finally asked.

"They went back to Forks. I didn't want to go with them."

"So they just left you here, alone?" he was incredulous. I shrugged.

"I'll be all right."

"Is it because of Jasper?"

"No. They don't know anything about that. They can't. My father... I'm already a disappointment. If he found out how I feel about Jasper..." I didn't want to finish the sentence. I was relatively sure Emmett could fill in the blanks. He confirmed my suspicion with a nod.

"I'll help you out," he said. "I can go shopping or give you a ride if you need to go somewhere. You won't be able to drive with that leg for a while."

"I'll be all right," I repeated. It was one thing to talk to Emmett about Jasper. It was another to have to be indebted to him for helping me out while I wasn't at my best.

"Time to wrap it up, boys," yet another nurse came into the room. I was used to the interruptions now, and gave her my arm so she could check the pulse and blood pressure.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Emmett said, "You'll eat your dinner, right?" He asked, yet another underlying threat in his voice. The nurse laughed. I liked the sound of her laughter.

"Oh, don't worry. He'll eat. He strikes me as a pretty smart guy and only a fool would defy Dr. Colby's orders."

I rolled my eyes, but I nodded at Emmett. "I'll eat," I said, resigned. I really didn't want to spend any more time in the hospital than I had to.

After Emmett left I did eat, every last bland crumb they put on the tray for me. Then I went for another walk, slightly less awkward this time as I got used to the crutches. Now that I knew I was truly on my own, it was more important than ever to get as comfortable as I possibly could with all my various injuries. Walking on crutches with broken ribs and bruised kidneys was amazingly difficult, and I was tempted many times to give up before completing my circuit, but I kept reminding myself that nothing would be more difficult than having to see my father every night, and that thought kept me going.

Back in my room for the night, I put the TV on, but I couldn't get interested in any of the shows. I kept thinking about Emmett and Jasper. I wished more than anything that Emmett would have been willing to talk to Jasper on my behalf, but he didn't seem to think that would do any good. At this point the only thing I knew was that I had no idea what was going on with Jas, so maybe following Emmett's instincts was the way to go.

I didn't sleep well, more aware of all the noises now and unable to ignore or sleep though the periodic visits by the nurses to check and record my vitals. In the morning it was a bland breakfast, another walk, then a meeting with Dr. Colby, who seemed pleased with the progress I was making, though not with my parents' abandonment. He asked a lot of questions about my home and school situation, and seemed pretty disappointed with my answers.

"So you live by yourself and you have no friends or family who can stay with you or even come over to help every couple of days? You're going to be doing this all alone?"

"Yes, but I can handle it," I assured him.

"What about your neighbor? The one that broke up the fight and came in with you?"

"What about him?"

"Would he be able to help you out?"

I shrugged. "I really think I can handle it without anyone helping," I repeated.

"What about the eating and the drinking?"

I looked away. I had to be convincing, even though I myself had doubts that I wouldn't slip into my old habits when I returned home.

"I can do it, Doctor. Just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it."

He sighed. "The nurses mentioned that you were less than enthusiastic about the switch to solid food."

"Have you ever eaten any of the stuff that passes for food around here?" I challenged. I could see in his face that he had and knew exactly what I was talking about. "When I can eat things that actually have flavor, it will be easier," I explained.

"All right, Edward," he sighed. "We'll see how you do here today and tomorrow. But if you're going to live alone, I will ask you to come in more frequently so I can evaluate your progress. And if it looks like you're not following my orders I will call your father and we'll do what we need to do to make sure you're not sabotaging your recovery."

I hated being vulnerable to so many threats, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it, so I nodded in compliance and watched Dr. Colby leave. Since I had nothing to do but watch TV, one of the nurses offered me her newspaper or tabloid magazine to read, but I declined. Instead, I stared out the window again, wondering how many more days I'd have to spend here before they let me out.

I must have fallen asleep again, because even though I didn't hear anything, when I opened my eyes again the visitor's chair was occupied.

I grimaced at the unwelcome surprise of being forced to see someone I'd hoped I would never have to see again.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, totally ungraciously.

"Wow, Edward. As charming as ever, I see."

"I really don't feel like wasting my time trading barbs with you. Are you gonna tell me what you're doing here or do I have to ask security to remove you from the room?"

"I'm not here for my enjoyment, I can tell you that much. Your mother got my number from my mother and called me to tell me you were here."

"My mother called your mother?" that was an unexpected development. "And she called you to tell you I was here? Why?"

"Ah, well, that's the interesting part. Apparently your mother fears your injuries are too extensive and you can't take care of yourself, but her husband is too much of a fucking selfish pig to let her take care of her son instead of him. So she has to stay in Forks while poor little Eddie has no one to look after him here in Seattle. Or at least that was the case until she remembered that I lived in Seattle too. So she called me and offered me a position as your temporary caretaker."

"And you agreed?" I asked incredulously.

"She made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Free room and board plus a weekly stipend for taking care of your sorry ass."

"Free room and board? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, seems your mommy went to your apartment and discovered that you no longer have a roommate. Since the room's available, she offered it to me."

"You are not moving into my apartment!" I exclaimed. What the fuck was my mother thinking? Had she gone completely out of her fucking mind?

"Oh, I very much am, and not alone. My girlfriend is moving in with me. And let me save you the trouble, 'cause I know how your mind works. You won't be able to scare her off no matter how rude and offensive you try to be. She's a hell of a lot tougher than you are."

I would have responded, but I was still reeling.

"You have a girlfriend?" I finally asked, incredulously.

"Yes. A hot, gorgeous girlfriend. Don't look so surprised. Not everyone is as shallow as you."

"A girlfriend?" I repeated, still not able to get over the shock of that statement.

"Close your mouth, Cullen, before you swallow a fly or something."

I closed my mouth and looked away. This has to be a nightmare I thought. No way could something like this happen in real life. My mother would never do this to me, would she?

"Fuck!" I screamed out as I pinched myself hard and proved I wasn’t dreaming after all. My visitor's expression softened.

"Look, Edward, it's not forever. Probably just while you're in the cast, maybe not even that long if you get the hang of moving around by yourself and start eating right. Your mom was most worried about that, to be honest. And trust me, I'm not getting much enjoyment out of this either. As a matter of fact, we had to put our own plans to look for a new place on hold to do this, so this arrangement isn't exactly a Godsend for us."

"Then why are you doing it? Why not just tell my Mom no? You don't owe her anything."

"No, I don't. Well, that's not exactly true, but that's neither here nor there. I didn't say yes because I felt I owed your mother anything, or you, for that matter. Or because I needed a place to stay, or the money. I did it because, like it or not, and as distasteful as I find the reason for it, you are my brother."

I looked away again. That might have been the first time either one of us acknowledged our familial status out loud, though we had both been aware of it for years. It sounded different hearing it said than it had in my head all those years. When I was younger, and wanted siblings more than anything in the world, I didn't know I already had one living in the very same town, going to the very same school. I didn't make that discovery until after I'd met Jasper. By that time he had satisfied every need for friendship and companionship that was at the root of my the desire for siblings, and I had no use in my life for some mere blood relative who could never be to me all that Jasper had been. Now, though, hearing the words "my brother" made me feel something, a connection I'd never felt before. A sense of belonging somewhere I never thought I belonged. A family other than my parents. It was bizarre, but somehow comforting.

"I know, I'm getting used to the idea as well. I'm so not used to thinking of you as my brother. But like it or not, you are, and despite everything else, when your mother told me what happened, I wanted to make sure you were okay. So you're stuck with me for a while. Get used to it. When you get better we'll figure out how we want to play it going forward. We could go back to things as they were, or maybe things will change. But we don't have to cross that bridge until we come to it.

"So are you gonna be okay with this? Or are you going to be your typical self and make life miserable for the three of us?"

I sighed. I didn't like it. In fact, I hated the thought of anyone living in my apartment, in Jasper's room. But I had to admit the thought of doing everything by myself was daunting and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle it. I supposed accepting help that was paid for by my parents was easier than accepting help from Emmett.

"We can try it, I guess. But don't get too comfortable at my place. I have a feeling neither one of us is gonna be able to stand this living arrangement for long," I paused, shaking my head at the sheer insanity of the situation. "Wow, I'm gonna be living with my sister," I said, still shaking my head in disbelief. "I never in my life thought I'd say that. And her girlfriend! Fuck!"

I paused again, suddenly realizing that the fact that my sister had a girlfriend was not nearly as mind-altering as it would have been just a few months ago. Surprising, yes, but only because I'd had no idea of her preferences, not because I was shocked by them. I sighed. Living with Jasper and down the hall from Emmett and Seth had certainly impacted the way I perceived the world. Things that once were unthinkable, now barely fazed me. I briefly wondered if this was a step forwards or backwards, but then I decided I didn't care. There were more important things to worry about, like what to call the strange woman who would soon be living in my apartment.

"Well, Maggie, I suppose you'd better tell me your girlfriend's name."

"My name's Rosalie," we both turned at the sound of a voice from the doorway. "And you must be Edward."

Her voice was not exactly unfriendly, but it was cool and reserved, and I figured she must have heard an earful about me from Maggie, probably all true. Maggie had known that my father was also her father longer than I had, almost from the day we started attending school together, but she never said anything about it to me, just stayed quiet and away from me and my friends. It would have been all too easy to make fun of her at that age - slightly pudgy with a mass of Irish red curls and pale, almost white freckled skin. But the way she conducted herself, making fun of her wouldn't have been any fun. She already stayed on the periphery of the class. She was pleasant with everyone, but very shy, and didn't seem to belong to any group or click, always the last to be picked for any team or group project. During breaks or free time, while everyone else was running around and playing, she would sit by herself and read or draw. I knew the other guys in my posse were dying for a chance to take a shot at the easy target, but I didn't allow it because there was no challenge in it and because somehow I could sense she expected it and had prepared for it. For no good reason whatsoever, at least not one I could understand, I admired that and even tried to draw her into our group, but after my first attempt she looked at me with so much resentment and contempt that I decided to simply leave her alone. It was an unspoken agreement. As long as she didn't interfere with the way I ran things, my group and I would leave her alone. And while I didn't exactly make her off limits to anyone else in the class, they all took their cue from us and left her alone as well.

Over time she faded so much into the background I didn't even notice her anymore, especially after Jasper moved to Forks. I still led the group and I still controlled what happened at school, but having Jasper at my side often made me less zealous than I otherwise would have been. He rarely interfered or even commented on anything I did, and yet whenever I sensed that he disapproved of what I was doing, regardless of how subtly that disapproval was communicated, I'd find myself reexamining my actions and, more often than not, pulling back. The people in Forks would never know how much they owed Jasper, how much more I could have demanded and dished out had he not been there to temper my natural tendencies. I knew my father didn't appreciate how much I had softened, as he called it, but I found that between disappointing Dad and Jasper, I cared less about Dad. Thankfully, my father never made a connection between the way I acted and Jasper, so he never interfered with our friendship. In fact, he encouraged it, liking that I'd befriended the school superintendent's kid, figuring that while I didn't need the friendship, it only added a level of legitimacy to everything I did. I didn't really care what he thought and why, I was just glad that I didn't have to fight with him over my best friend.

When I turned 12 towards the end of 6th grade, Dad took me into his study one afternoon while Mom was out shopping.

"What do you know about sex?" he asked flat out, without any preamble.

I stared at him, not having a single clue what answer he was looking for. By that time I knew pretty much everything there was to know about sex, though I hadn't done much about it, but I didn't know if telling him that would be the right thing to do. When his eyes drilled into me, waiting for an answer, I finally stammered, "Well, men have a penis and women have a vagina and during sex the penis goes into the vagina." I'd wanted to stay cool, but this was not a subject I felt at all comfortable discussing with my father, and I felt a flush spread across my face as I spoke.

"Do you know why?"

Was this a trick question? This had been, by far, the worst interrogation I had ever suffered at the hands of my father.

"To make babies?" That seemed like a safe and logical answer. My father scoffed.

"I sure as hell hope you're acting stupid for my benefit, boy," he said with narrowed eyes. "It's not like we fucking raised you as a Catholic. And shit, I think only the Goddamn Pope believes that nonsense anymore, and that's only because he's never actually fucked a woman, at least not officially."

It wasn't the language so much that surprised me, as his vehemence.

"We're men, Edward, and we don't need to act all virtuous. Men stick their cocks into pussies because it feels good. Babies are just a byproduct, most of the time a rather unfortunate byproduct. The one piece of advice I'll give you is make as goddamn sure as you can that what you do doesn't result in that, because the Goddamn bastards can haunt you for life. Trust me, I know."

I stared at him and wondered if he was talking about me.

"So you're saying I should use a condom, like they said in school," I tried to understand the point of this conversation.

"A condom? Fuck! Sure, you can use a condom, if you don't goddamn want to feel anything. Fucking with a condom is like bathing in a wet suit. What's the point? Well, they do protect from diseases, I suppose, but if you stick to virgins and avoid the biggest sluts you shouldn't have a problem with that, especially here in Forks.

"No, Edward, what I'm telling you is that there are places to fuck where sperm won't make any babies, so no condoms are necessary. Go for the pussy, sure, to start. But unless you are really confident that the girl is on the pill and actually taking her dosage every day, I sure as hell don't recommend finishing there. Not when there are so many safer alternatives."

"What alternatives, Dad?" I really couldn't believe we were talking about this, but since we were, I wanted to get as much information as possible. If my dad actually wanted to tell me this stuff, I figured it had to be important.

He rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Do you really need to ask?" I looked down at the floor, embarrassed. I didn't really need to ask. I was pretty sure I knew what he'd meant. But I would have liked some confirmation. Though why I thought he'd be any more forthcoming on this topic than any other, I didn't know.

"All right," he said with a sigh. "I suppose I won't make you figure it all out for yourself, like my father did me. Maybe I can help you avoid making some of my mistakes. First, and most obvious, is the hand, though that's hardly satisfying, since women generally don't really know how to jack a guy off, and if they touch themselves later with your jizz all over them, you might still have a problem. Second is the blow job. That's probably the safest, especially if they swallow. I've yet to meet a woman, no matter how flexible, who can contaminate her own pussy with cum from her mouth. Then there's the ass, tighter and maybe even more satisfying that the pussy, as long as you have enough lubrication. The only thing to watch out for there is to make sure they get on their back or sitting up before your jizz leaks out and down. Does that make sense?"

I nodded. I didn't think my eyes could open any wider, and I sure as hell felt like I was in a nightmare, having this type of a discussion with my father.

"Dad," I had a feeling it was a mistake to ask him, but I couldn't stop myself. "Why are you telling me all this?"

For once he could not look me in the eye. Amazingly, I found that more frightening than anything else. "Dad?" I prompted, when he still said nothing.

"Edward," he said with a sigh, "There are many ways I wish you were more like me, and I keep waiting for you to step up and show me that you really are a Cullen, but I did make some major mistakes in my life and I don't want you doing the same thing. That's one reason. The other is even more serious. I assume you know the meaning of the term incest?"

My head snapped back. I did know the definition of the word, but given that I had no siblings, there was no reason for me to be concerned with it.

"And I assume you've learned enough in science class to know why incest is such a taboo?"

"Greater potential for manifestation of recessive genetic defects in offspring of related individuals?"

My father looked at me, surprised. "Wow, Edward, I hadn't realized you paid so much attention in science."

I shrugged. I enjoyed science class. I liked plants and animals, and while humans didn't interest me all that much, genetics was fascinating.

"Right, well," Dad continued, "you're just about at that age where you're going to start getting involved with girls and as careful as you should be, accidents can happen. Which is why it's important, for you especially, to make sure you never go near Maggie O'Callaghan You know who I mean, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "And I never go near her anyway, but why is that important? I don't understand."

Dad shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Maggie's mother and I knew each other before you were born. It wasn't anything special or serious. We just fucked. But I made a mistake and didn't pull out in time and she was a Goddamn Catholic, so no pill, and Maggie was the result. So technically she's your half-sister."

It took me a long time to process his statement, and then my brain went into overdrive, calculating. We never celebrated Maggie's birthday during the school year, which meant that it had to be over the summer and that she was only a few months younger than me. Which meant that Dad got Maggie's mom pregnant while he was with my mom, after she was already pregnant with me. The moment that realization hit may very well have been the first moment I truly started hating my father.

"Does Mom know?" I asked.

"She knows," he snapped. "And she knows I'm telling you this now, so that you don't mess up your life by knocking the wrong girl up. Better yet, don't knock any girl up, but stay the fuck away altogether from the O'Callaghan girl."

He got up and strode out of the study, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I had a sister. Not that this meant anything. I didn't need a sister, especially Maggie O'Callaghan. Besides, there was nothing to do about it. If I acted any differently towards her now that I knew, everyone in town would find out that my father cheated on my mother, and I would not do that to Mom.

The next day I couldn't help but stare at her, though, wondering if she knew. She looked at me coldly each time she caught my eye, and then right before lunch time she stepped right in front of me in the hallway.

"I need to talk to you, Cullen," though she was usually shy and quiet, at that moment her voice was commanding, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was my father's daughter. "Alone," she added for emphasis when neither I nor Jasper nor any of the other guys hanging around made a move.

"It's okay, Jas," I said as I turned to him, signaling with my head that he should proceed to the cafeteria. He took a good look at me, and then wordlessly walked away, the other boys trailing in his wake, some turning their heads back to see what was going on between me and Maggie.

"He told you, didn't he?" she demanded as soon as they'd gone.

"You knew?" I asked, offended that she had been privy to information that I had not.

"Yeah. My mother didn't trust him to tell you in time, so she made sure I always knew."

"Why didn't you ever say anything? Why didn't you want to hang out together when I asked you to back in grade school?" for some reason, the memory of that rejection hurt more once I knew we were related.

"Because I don't want anything to do with him or you. Ever. I can't do anything about my DNA, but being related to you is just an unfortunate biological accident. It means nothing. It changes nothing. So quit staring at me and let's just go on as we were before. You stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours."

"Fine," I spat at her. "I don't want anything to do with you either. If your whore of a mother didn't take up with married men you wouldn't even be here."

I watched her face redden with fury. "My whore of a mother? Is that what he told you? And you believed him? Let me tell you something, Edward Cullen. If you ever say anything even remotely insulting about my mother again, ever, you will regret it more than anything in your life. And just for the record, both of our mothers were exactly the same. My mother never slept with a married man."

She turned on her heel and stomped away, leaving me standing in the hallway to ponder her words. The story in my family had always been that I'd been born prematurely, though looking at my birth record I was probably the biggest preemie the hospital has ever seen. Maggie's statement brought it all home. My mother was pregnant before my parents were married. They probably got married because she was pregnant. That alone explained a lot about their relationship. And it turned my world upside down.

I honored her wishes and my father's demand and stayed away from Maggie after that, just as I always had before. Most of the time I hardly even noticed she was there. In high school, I put out a word with the guys, everyone except Jasper, that she was untouchable, not by them and not by anyone else either. We may not have been close, but I was damned if I was going to have one of my jackass friends hurt her. She wasn't popular, so I assumed she would have been easy pickins for anyone who showed her the slightest bit of attention. I didn't tell Jasper because I knew he'd disapprove, and I was pretty sure she wasn't his type. Besides, I could always make sure Jas didn't hurt her. All I'd have to do is tell him to stop seeing her, and he'd stop, no questions asked. At least so I thought, until I made the stupid mistake of shunning him beginning of Senior year.

I couldn't have orchestrated a better way to bring the two of them together if I'd tried. I should have remembered that Maggie drove by Jasper's place on her way to school and that, of course, she would stop to pick him up if she saw him walking. She had no love lost for me and she downright enjoyed rubbing my nose in the fact that my best friend turned to her as soon as I had forced him out of my circle. I'd been so furious that day when I saw them drive up to school together, and then when the guys couldn't find him at lunch. I'd stayed behind after school and, sure enough, she was driving him back home too. I followed them, making sure they both knew I was there, but to give Maggie credit, she wasn't at all intimidated. So instead of wallowing in lonely misery without me, Jasper had instantly found comfort in the company of my sister, of all people. It was infuriating.

In the end, instead of him crawling back to me, realizing how he couldn't survive without me, I was the one who showed up in his driveway and told him to get in my car instead of hers. I made it sound like I was doing him a favor, but both Maggie and I knew that I was begging. I needed him far more than he needed me. I would never forget the moment when she told him he had a choice, and for a split second I pictured him choosing her. I didn't know what I would have done if he had made that choice. I was glad I didn't have to find out. And I was surprised, as my eyes met Maggie's pulling out of the drive, that her gaze didn't hold the anger I expected. I always wondered what she had been thinking in that moment. Maybe now that we were going to be living together, I would get a chance to find out.

Maggie's girlfriend, Rosalie, was the term 'glamazon' personified. She was tall and gorgeous, curvy in all the right places, but there was something in her face and eyes and stance that let you know she was anything but soft. Her voice, too, was strong and commanding, though with a sexy timbre. She was dressed in a professional but sexy skirt suit and looked a few years older than Maggie. She didn't take her eyes off me as she walked up behind Maggie, until it was time to lean down to kiss my sister. I looked away before their lips touched, the sight of two women together no longer as appealing as it had been in the past, if it ever had been that, and all the less so when I was related to one of the women in question.

"You told him?" Rosalie asked Maggie, who nodded in confirmation. "And?"

"He'll give it a shot," Maggie replied. "I think it will be OK."

Rosalie nodded. "Well, Edward, I guess we're going to be roommates. I haven't lived with a man since my father divorced my mother and moved out when I was 5, so this is gonna be new for me. But Maggie wants to do this for some reason, and I couldn't think of a graceful way to say no. Fair warning, though. You leave the toilet seat up and you'll be drinking the toilet water."

I rolled my eyes. In my current state I had no doubt Rosalie could easily carry out that threat. Fortunately, Mom made sure I learned to put the seat down.

"Lunchtime," a tingling voice of yet another nurse announced as she came into the room with a tray. "Hungry, Edward?"

"Starving," I said sarcastically. "The mush and cardboard from breakfast didn't fill me up as much as I thought it had."

Rosalie nodded. "You're every bit the wise guy Maggie described."

I shot Maggie an annoyed glance.

"I had to warn her. It was only fair if we have to live with you," she shrugged.

"Anyway, Edward," Rosalie continued. "I'm on my lunch break and don't have a lot of time. If you're fine with this, then give me your key so I can make a duplicate and start moving our stuff over."

I balked a little at having anyone in my apartment without me being there.

"Come on, Edward," Maggie prompted. "It will be easier if we're all moved in before you get home from the hospital."

"Fine. I think the keys are in that drawer," I pointed to the hospital side table. Maggie fished out the keys and handed them to Rosalie. "You have the address?" I confirmed. They both nodded.

"All right, I'm off," Rosalie said. "Nice to meet you Edward. Sorry I have to run right now. I'll try to stop back in the afternoon and maybe we can get to know each other a little more. I'm sure you can't be as big of an ass as Maggie said you were, or else she'd have never agreed to do this in the first place."

I saw the nurse's mouth drop open in shock and I had to smirk. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle living with Rosalie, but I sure as fuck liked her on a personal level.

"Guess you'll have to find out for yourself," I countered. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you better too."

Just as Rosalie turned to leave, Emmett filled the doorway to the room. The room suddenly felt very crowded.

"Sorry, Edward. I didn't realize you had visitors," Emmett looked from Rosalie to Maggie, his confusion apparent. "I thought you might like some company for lunch, but I guess you're all set. I can come back later," he started to turn around.

"Wait," I called out. "Hold on. I might as well introduce you so you're not surprised when Maggie and Rosalie start moving in their stuff. They're gonna be living with me for a while."

Emmett's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then his eyes narrowed.

"Okay. I guess you really meant what you said yesterday. You're a fast worker, Edward, I'll give you that. Even from a hospital bed you don't waste any time."

I was confused for a second and exchanged a look with Maggie, who shrugged. Then I realized what he was thinking.

"Jesus, Emmett, it's nothing like that. This is my sister, Maggie," I motioned to Maggie, "and her girlfriend, Rosalie. They're moving in because apparently my mom doesn't think I can take care of myself. This is my neighbor, Emmett," I said for the girls' benefit.

"Oh," Emmett looked confused again. "Sorry. I didn't know you had any siblings."

Rosalie turned to Maggie and rolled her eyes. "I'll let you guys explain. I really have to go. I'll see you later, okay Freckles?" Rosalie turned towards Emmett after Maggie nodded "Say, you look pretty strong. Any chance I could get you to help with some of the heavier boxes?"

"Sure," Emmett said affably. "No problem."

"All right, thanks," Rose squeezed his bicep as she made her way around him and out into the corridor, her high heels clicking on the tiled floor as she disappeared from our view.

"Um, Mr. Cullen, your lunch? I can't leave here until you're done," the food Nazi trilled from her corner. I looked over at her, resentfully, but pulled the tray closer and started ingesting the tasteless garbage they had the nerve to call food. The three of them said nothing, just silently watched me eat, while I fumed with every bite until it was finally all gone.

"You can tell Doctor Colby that my mother found another enforcer to watch me eat at home, so he doesn't have to worry about that anymore," I called after the exiting nurse.

"I'll be sure to do that, Mr. Cullen." she replied without turning around.

"You know, Edward," Maggie said, "it really wouldn't kill you to be nice to people every once in a while. You might be surprised how much easier your life would be."

I turned to her, ready to snap back a retort when I saw Emmett frown and I decided to stay quiet.

"So you're Edward's sister?" he asked Maggie. "Forgive me, but you seem nothing alike."

"Oh, we're not," she replied breezily. "The similarity stops at the genome, I assure you."

"Maggie is my half-sister," I explained. "We have different mothers. And even though we grew up in the same town, we didn't grow up as siblings. In fact, we ignored each other most of the time, wanted nothing to do with one another. She threw me for a huge loop when she showed up here today with her offer to move in and help."

Emmett looked at Maggie, suspicion clouding his face, "Why exactly are you moving in? Edward is not really alone and helpless. My roommate and I are just down the hall, ready to help out as needed."

I looked at him in surprise. Of course, he'd offered to help before, but I hardly thought Seth would want anything to do with me. And the concern in his voice as he questioned Maggie's motives was touching.

Maggie seemed as surprised as I was at Emmett's question. "Edward's mother asked me to move in and help him out. She's under the impression that he'll need more than occasional help."

"He needs emotional support right now more than supervision, and if it turns out that he does need someone to stay with him, Seth and I can do that for a while. It's not like it will put us out, since we live just down the hall."

I watched the game of verbal Ping-Pong between them with more than a little incredulity. A couple of days ago I literally had no one to talk to, and now people were arguing over what kind of support I needed and who would provide it? I pinched myself again, lightly this time, and was once again reassured that I wasn't dreaming.

Maggie glanced over at me and must have seen my surprise.

"Look, Emmett, I can see that you care about Edward. Something that, frankly, knowing him like I do, I find a little hard to believe or understand. Nevertheless, I see you have concerns about me and I get why, since you don't know me at all. But instead of doing this in front of an audience, why don't we grab a cup of coffee and I'll be happy to answer all of your questions until you're satisfied, and maybe you can tell me some things about yourself as well.

"Wait a minute," I interjected. "Why do you need to leave to talk? Why the secrecy?"

"Because, Edward, sometimes you don't have to know everything. At least not right away." She got up and looked to Emmett. "Coming?"

He threw me an apologetic look as he got up. "Yeah, okay. We'll be back in a little while, Edward."

It wasn't fair, the two of them going somewhere else to talk about me like I was a problem child, but I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing just how much this upset me. I just shrugged with what I hoped looked like indifference.

"Come back or don't," I said. "Whatever. I can find ways to amuse myself."

This, of course, was a complete and total lie. Left alone my only options were thinking about Jasper or wondering what the two of them were talking about behind my back. Frustrated, I lay on my side, facing the window. It was annoying how helpless I felt and how dependent on others I was. Note to self, bar brawls are not effective problem solving strategies. It was easy to see that now that I was sober. Too bad it was too late.

I heard movement behind me and turned to find Seth in the doorway.

"Looking for Emmett?" I asked bitterly. I knew Seth wouldn't have come to the hospital just to see me.

"I was," he acknowledged. "I thought he said he'd be here."

"He's in the cafeteria, having coffee with my sister."

He frowned. "You have a sister?"

I sighed with annoyance. "It's a long story, and do you really care?"

I didn't wait for his answer, just turned back to the window. I was surprised to hear his footsteps as he approached the bed instead of leaving.

"Emmett said your parents went back home."

"Yeah, so?"

"He said you're all alone and you might need help."

I turned my head to look at him again.

"Even if that was true, what difference does it make to you?"

"Let's just say I know something about not having parents to rely on. Emmett claims there's more to you than we first thought and we should help you. I came to see for myself."

"I don't know what Emmett is talking about. I'm the same as I always was, Seth. So move along, nothing to see here. Sorry you came out here for nothing. You can get your admission refund at the door. And as for helping me, my sister is moving in, so I will be fine. You don't have to force yourself to do anything you don't wanna do."

Seth tilted his head and looked at me like I was some sort of a science experiment. "On the surface you seem exactly the same," he commented, his voice disengaged, almost as if he were speaking to himself, "But Emmy wouldn't say you were worth helping for no reason. So come on, Edward, what did you tell him or show him to change his mind? I need to see for myself."

"Go away, Seth. I'm not some lab rat for you to examine."

Seth dragged the visitor's chair closer to the bed. It looked too heavy for him, and I had to smile a little.

"Laugh it up, invalid," he snapped when he saw my amusement. "I'd like to see you try moving this thing. Now, what did you and Emmett talk about yesterday? You told him what happened with Jasper, didn't you?"

I turned away from him again. "I'm sure he already told you everything," I said.

"Maybe he did and maybe he didn't," Seth was noncommittal. "I'd still like to hear it from you."

"I don't want to talk about it, Seth," I countered. "Especially not with you."

I hear the chair scrape and the sound of footsteps as Seth came around to the other side of the bed and leaned over so he was inches away from my face. "Jasper may have mentioned to you, when I want information, I get it. You don't get a choice. Now spill."

I sighed. "Believe it or not, you little egotist, Jasper and I didn't talk about you at all."

"Egotist? Ha! Takes one to know one. And you will talk, Cullen. I have my ways."

I rolled my eyes. Really, it was pointless to go through this back and forth. We both knew he'd heard it all from Emmett anyway and it wasn't like I had anything better to do than talking to him. I took a deep breath. "Fine," I said. "If you want to waste your time hearing the whole thing over again, that's your call. Where do you want me to start?"

"Can you move that leg over a little?" he asked, pointing to my cast. I shrugged and shifted my leg slightly. He perched himself on the edge of the bed beside it. "Why don't you start at the beginning? What happened after you left for Forks that Friday?"

I went through the whole story again, in painstaking detail. I felt like a suspect in a criminal investigation, being interrogated over and over by different people. I'd spent so much time thinking and talking about that weekend, I could tell the story in my sleep. Problem was, it never improved on the re-telling. Nor did I get any additional insights. This time, though, was a little different. When I got to what happened that Sunday night, Seth didn't just sit and listen, like Emmett had. He started asking questions.

"So when you told him that you wanted to be with him and apologized for the way you acted when he came out, he didn't say anything?"

I frowned and went back over the conversation in my head. "Not really. he was really quiet and thoughtful and just drank his beer and waited while I kept talking. And he turned away when I brought up James. He seemed in pain when I brought him up."

"Well, duh," Seth opened his eyes wide and threw his hand up, exasperated. "You saw what that guy did to him. What the hell did you bring him up for?"

"I don't know," I looked down to where I was nervously playing with the unraveling corner of the standard issue hospital blanket. "I wanted to apologize again, I guess," I looked up at him. "Was that wrong?"

"Apologizing wasn't wrong, but did you have to bring him up right at that moment?"

"No, but I just thought I would let him know that I would have changed everything if I could. Do you think that's why he left? Because I brought up James?"

"I don't know. What happened next? Did he say anything?"

"He told me to stop thinking about it and that I helped him when he came back. He said that and knowing we were friends again was enough for him."

Seth snorted.

"What?" I asked.

"Never mind," Seth evaded. "What did you say to that?"

"I told him that I wanted more, that after Senior year I spent the whole summer thinking about being with him, but then when he came back he didn't want anything to do with me and I was confused. And then he came out, but I thought he was with Emmett, even though he told me he wasn't."

"So you told him that you thought he was a liar. While explaining to him that you wanted to be with him?"

I thought about his question. He was twisting everything and interpreting it the wrong way. I suppose I did admit to thinking that Jasper had misled me, but that was in the past.

"I didn't mean it like that. I think he knew what I meant. . ." I stopped, suddenly remembering that I told him a part of me hated him for lying. Hated him. I think I used those very words. Granted, I told him how I hated myself too, but I told him I hated myself for wanting him. Jesus!

"What? You remembered something, didn't you? Something important. What is it?" Seth was practically squirming.

I opened my mouth to explain, but just then Maggie and Emmett walked back into the room.

"Oh," Emmett said when he saw his roommate. "Hey, Sweetie. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I decided that I should keep an open mind and give Edward a chance to explain what happened."

Maggie arched one eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Maggie, this is my roommate, Seth. Seth, this is Edward's sister, Maggie," Emmett performed the introductions.

"You two have the same color eyes," Seth immediately noticed.

"Yes," Maggie confirmed, dryly. "Thankfully, that is one of the few things we have in common."

"You don't like your brother very much," Seth continued to point out the obvious.

"Sweetie," Emmett interjected, but Maggie was quick with her response.

"Does anyone?"

Seth jumped off the bed and stood with his arms folded across his chest. "I like you," he said to Maggie. "We'll get along just fine. But if you don't like Edward, why are you moving in to help him?"

Maggie shrugged. "He's my brother and he needs me. And I'm looking forward to watching my girlfriend put him in his place."

"Girlfriend?" It was Seth's turn to raise his brow.

"Yes. Rosalie and I have been together for over six months. And yes, I know you're gay, but not together with Emmett. And yes, I've suspected my brother was gay for a good long while."

"I'm not gay!" I protested, feeling like Niles in the Ski Lodge episode of Frazier. All three of them turned to look at me, and then looked back at each other. Seth shook his head.

"He has such a long way to go," he bemoaned. "We have our work cut out for us."

Maggie and Emmett just nodded in agreement. All I wanted to do was crawl under the blanket and go to sleep forever.