Chapter 41

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Chapter 41: Loving You is All I Wanna Do

I went to work in a lighthearted and happy mood the following morning. Jasper hadn't called or texted, but I hadn't expected him to. I figured he must have been dog tired when he got home and he had not been anticipating our reunion the way I had, so contacting me was probably not a top priority. As long as he didn't forget altogether and got back to me within a few days, I would be fine. Plus I had a back-up plan, of sorts. I figured if he didn't get back to me by mid-week, I'd ask either Emmett or Seth to call him and give him a gentle reminder. Nothing too forward or even too overt - just enough to water the seed.

Even in the early hours, the Mountain was covered with tourists, so I didn't have much time to think about anything other than work. It wasn't until I took my lunch break that I realized that I still hadn't heard from Seth. Admittedly, it was rather self-centered of me to believe this was cause for concern, but the Seth I knew would have never waited this long to pump me for information. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and I knew I wouldn't be able to eat another thing without some reassurance. I flipped open my phone and dialed Seth's number.

"Hey, Edward," he said as he picked up. It might have been a normal greeting any other day, but not the day after I'd had lunch with Jasper. I knew that technically Seth was still very much in the post-wedding honeymoon stage, but I refused to believe he would let that get in the way of his desire to know every detail of what happened at the brunch. Heck, he'd been more interested in what was happening on the day of his wedding than he sounded right now.

"Something's wrong," I cut right to the chase. "What is it?"

"You don't know?" Seth sounded genuinely surprised. "Emmett said you two talked."

"We spoke yesterday, but it was about my brunch with Jasper. He didn't mention anything else. What's going on?"

"Oh, shit! You mean he didn't tell you? Well, I suppose at the time he called you things were still teetering on the edge. He probably didn't even know what to say."

"What to say about what, Seth? What the hell is going on? Stop being so Goddamn cryptic and just tell me," I was getting really worried now, and his circular musings were getting me nowhere nearer to finding out what happened.

"Fuck! I don't even know how to tell you, or if I should. Maybe Emmett would want to tell you himself," Seth contemplated.

"Goddamn it, so help me, Seth, if you don't tell me what's going on right now I'm going to leave my post, hunt you down, and bitch slap you to oblivion. I'll pretend like I don't know when Emmett tells me, but in the meantime I'll ask this last time, what's going on?"

"All right, all right, I'll tell you. But you might have to pretend with Emmett and Nasir, because I don't know what they want to do yet. I'm not sure they'd want people to know."

"Oh, for the love of God, Seth, I'm not people!"

"I know, Edward. I know that. Okay. Are you sitting down? This is pretty bad."

I'd left the staff room at the visitor center to make the call and I was now off trail, so seating wasn't exactly readily available. Seth sounded serious, though, so I figured his advice was worth taking. Looking around I found a fallen tree and perched myself on its trunk.

"I'm sitting down, Now, what is it?"

"It's Nasir. He came back from the Emirates with really bad news."

I was filled with dread at Seth's tone, my mind going over all the possibilities. Did Nasir have to move to another city for his job? Maybe another country even? Did someone die? His father was the head of the company. If he passed away, how would that impact Nasir? He wasn't the eldest son, but still, he might have some responsibilities we knew nothing about. Or was it even worse than that? Maybe it wasn't Nasir's relative and death. Maybe it was Nasir himself and some sort of an illness. Oh, God!

"What was the news, Seth. Tell me before my imagination really runs away with me."

"He's getting married."

"What?" I was sure I misheard. "He proposed to Emmett? How is that bad news?"

"He didn't propose to Emmett," Seth said sadly.

"Wait, I thought you said..."

"I did. Nasir is getting married, and it's not to Emmett. He doesn't want to, but in his country it's custom for the father to arrange marriages for his children and Nasir's father did just that. It was announced before Kasim's wedding."

"Shit!" I breathed out, finally understanding.

"I know," Seth confirmed.

"So now what? Since you didn't use past tense, I'm assuming the marriage is still on? I mean, I understand Nasir not wanting to ruin his brother's wedding by coming out to his family right then, but when is he going to tell them?"

"He's not," Seth said darkly.

"What? Do you mean to tell me he intends to go through with this sham marriage? And then what? Jesus! How is Emmett taking all this?"

"He's better now, but it was very bad at first. Nasir told him Saturday night, after they left the reception and made love. They were both exhausted and Nasi was still in shock, I think, so he didn't deliver the news as tactfully and thoughtfully as he might otherwise have. He told Emmett that he was going through with the marriage and Emmett thought that meant he wanted to leave him. They came over for breakfast after not having slept a wink and of course I noticed something was wrong and asked about it, and things got really ugly. Then Nasir left and Garrett went after him and I stayed with Emmett and he fell asleep on the sofa in our suite. Neither one of them made it to the family brunch. Emmett walked home. That must have been when he called you. I still can't believe he didn't say anything, but then if he had you would have thought he and Nasir were done, because that's what he feared at the time."

"Damn," I breathed out, glad I took Seth's advice to sit down. "But I take it things are not over between them? What happened? Did Nasir have a plan that he forgot to mention?"

"Not exactly. I could still throttle him for that, because he should have thought of something. Out of all of us, he's the only one who knew this was going to happen. Maybe not that it would happen during this trip, but someday. He should have been more prepared. But I guess living in Seattle, more or less openly as a gay man, he blocked all that stuff out. So he was nearly as shocked as the rest of us, and he had no plan."

"Okay, but you and Garrett must have helped them come up with a plan, right? It should be simple, shouldn't it? He just comes out to his family and tells them about Emmett. Surely his father would not expect him to go through with the marriage if he knew he was gay."

"If he knew Nasir was gay, his father and brother would likely want to kill him," Seth said softly. I sighed. Seth and I both knew too well what that was like, though at least our fathers didn't threaten us with violence. "But barring that," he continued, "his father would still want him to marry this bride that he apparently paid handsomely for. Supposedly it's a very good match for the Al Qasimi family. Gay or straight, Nasir wouldn't and doesn't have a choice."

"So then what? He marries her but gets a quickie divorce in Vegas or they separate? How will that work? Poor girl. And what about her? Does she have any idea that her future husband is gay? Does she even want to get married? Maybe he should just talk to her and they can mutually decide to back out of the arrangement?" I offered.

"She has even less to say on this matter than he does, so whether she wants to marry him or not is irrelevant. When Nasir was describing the process last night... God, Edward, it's positively feudal. They sign a marriage contract and then the women go off to one room and the men to another and the two of them only get to see each other afterwards for their wedding night. And, wait 'till you hear this, she had better be a virgin, because come morning they have to present the bloody sheets!"

"What?" I nearly shouted. He was right. This was like something out of the middle ages. "Well," I said, trying to find some silver lining, "at least if she's a virgin she'll have no one to compare him with, so she won't know that it's his first time with a woman too."

"Edward! That's not funny!" Seth's tone was chastising, but then I heard him giggle.

"Okay, so seriously. What's the plan?"

"Well, a quickie divorce is not an option, because after they get married they'll be expected to live with his family in the Emirates for 4-6 months."

"Oh, my God!" I whispered, shocked yet again. "Poor Emmy! How the hell is he going to handle that?"

"I know, and I don't know. He's going to need all of us like crazy."

I couldn't imagine it. Emmett and Nasir were so close and loved each other so much. Other than Nasir's occasional family and business trips, they were inseparable. I couldn't even think what it would be like to watch a man I loved, my life partner, the man I'd shared my bed and life with for over a year and a half, go off for six months to live with his new wife. Shit, I'd been living without Jasper for six years and I watched Cliff leave me, and yet neither one of those situations was as bad, because at least both of their decisions made sense. Admittedly, with Jasper I didn't understand it until long after, but eventually it made sense. Both Jasper and Cliff left me because in some way I'd hurt them. But that was not the case for Nasir. It was almost like he was being kidnapped against his will. Knowing that his partner was halfway around the world, being forced to perform sexually with a woman in order to please his family, would kill Emmett. Even if we were there for Emmy, he'd be so worried about Nasir, who would have no one to support him.

"Of course I'll be there for him as much as I can," I assured Seth. "You know I will. Hell, I'll even move in with him and sleep with him every night if need be," like he did for me, I added silently. "But Seth, you know better than anyone, this will destroy him."

"No, it won't," Seth said vehemently. "It won't, because we will not let it. We are going to get them through this, you hear me? The both of them, until they can be together again. Garrett and I already discussed it, and he will make trips out to the Emirates to see Nasir if need be. He'll come up with some sham business reason. He'll invest in some new hotel construction if he has to. We will be there for both of them until Nasir can come back home."

"Okay," I agreed. I was impressed at how much planning he and Garrett did in such a short period of time. "And what then? Nasir will leave the wife there and move back in with Emmett?"

"He'll have to bring her here with him. We're still working on that part. We're hoping the woman will be open to some sort of a mutually acceptable arrangement. Nasir is going to call his sister and see if the sister will talk to the bride to be, to see if any agreement can be reached with her. No one knows her or what she thinks or wants. But Nasir thinks his sister can help. He's hanging a lot of his hopes on that. If she agrees to talk to the fiancée, Nasi and Emmett will go to the Emirates with her, as soon as possible."

"If she agrees? Is she hesitating?"

"No, she's just not home yet from Kasim's wedding. She lives in London, and apparently she and her husband went to visit his family after the wedding was over before going back to their home. Nasir doesn't want to talk to her while she's with her in-laws, so we have to wait."

"God," I sighed. "What an incredible cluster fuck," I added, running my hand through my hair in frustration. "I wish there was something, anything we could do."

"Believe me, I know. I wish I could send some of my Lakota ancestors over there to take Nasir's father's and brother's scalps. But that's not an option."

"I just don't get why Emmett didn't say anything when we spoke yesterday," I voiced my confusion.

"I think maybe he was just calling you to take his mind off his situation, and then he said you were happy and he probably didn't want to bring you down. And speaking of that, now that I've told you all this miserable shit, let's move on to happier subjects. Emmett told me what you'd said, but I want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth. How was brunch?"

I couldn't help it. As worried and disturbed as I was about everything he'd just told me, thinking about Jasper made me smile. It was a colossal case of bad timing that my own good news came at the same time as the worst kind of news for Emmett, because I knew under ordinary circumstances he would be even more excited for me than he seemed yesterday, and I sure as fuck couldn't tell yesterday that his reaction was off in any way. But even though the news Seth relayed put me in a more somber mood, the thought of reconnecting with Jasper made everything seem brighter.

"Brunch was actually pretty great," I said, the proceeded to tell him everything that happened, with the usual Seth interruptions and exclamations and requests for even more details, sometimes more than I had to give. "So now I'll be waiting for his call," I said. "And shit, I guess unless he talks to Emmett first, I might have some bad news to deliver. He probably would want to know," I said, not really sure I was right.

"Emmy's not really in the right frame of mind to be talking to a lot of people right now," Seth explained. "I'll remind him to call you and tell you, because you should hear it from him, so remember to act surprised, but I don't think he'll be calling Jasper. In the past Jasper pretty much steered clear of anything that was too personal, and it sounds like that may change now, but still... I think it's better if one of us tell him. I could call him, if you want, but I think maybe you should."

I considered his suggestion. "I'll see after I talk to Emmett. Maybe he has a preference. Besides, I told Jasper I would wait for him to get in touch with me, and I don't want to start off by breaking my word."

"These are pretty unusual circumstances. I think he would understand. And I think he would want to know."

"I'll see, Seth, okay? Let me talk to Emmett first and see what he wants. And then, maybe..." I trailed off. This was a good reason to call Jasper if he hadn't had a chance to contact me first. But Emmett would have to be on board.

"All right, Cullen. Stubborn as always. Expect a call from Emmy some time tonight, probably after dinner. And we'll have to get together after you talk with Jasper again, all right? Kisses!"

"Right back at you, little man. And kisses to that good looking husband of yours too. Sorry the whole wedding glow wore off so soon for you two."

"Ha! That glow will never wear off. It's just a little eclipsed at the moment, but I assure you it's still there, as strong as ever, behind the clouds. We'll get Emmy and Nasir on the right path and then well go right back to concentrating on being the blissfully wedded couple we are. All right, I have to run. The paper waits for no man. Well, they normally will wait for me, but I've been preoccupied lately, as you can imagine, and a deadline looms. Later."

I had mixed feelings as I hung up with Seth. Obviously Nasir's news was just awful, and I was extremely worried both for him and for Emmett. Seth, however, seemed relatively optimistic, and his mood was usually a good barometer of the general situation. Not that the situation wasn't dire - I knew for Emmett and Nasir that six months would seem like an eternity - but if things really did work out in the end, the six month would seem like a tiny blip on the radar of their lifetime together. I hoped. In any event, Emmett and Nasir needed our strength now, so we had to keep thinking positive thoughts.

I wasn't sure what to make of Seth's suggestion that I be the one to tell Jasper about Emmett and Nasir. Obviously I wouldn't do anything without speaking with Emmett first, but even if, as Seth suspected, he wanted me to deliver the bad news, I wasn't sure I wanted that responsibility. First there was the issue of who would contact who first, and I really believed it was important to give him the chance to make the first move. Second, even though in my gut I felt Jasper would want to know what was happening with Emmett, he did have some strong reservations about exchanging personal information. Seth seemed to believe that those had been lifted now, but I wasn't so sure. They certainly hadn't been with respect to me, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be the one to test the waters about Emmett and Seth. Ultimately, I suspected I would have to make a judgment call, and given my past experience, that scared me more than anything.

In the afternoon I got a text from Maggie, telling me they were back home and reiterating her invitation for dinner. I went, of course, and it was good to see the girls and the boys again. Fortunately for me, the four of them were pretty wiped, so the conversation remained pretty light and we didn't linger after the meal. I was glad, because I wasn't up to arguing with Maggie about Jasper, and without being able to tell them about Emmett, I really had very little to say. Instead I listened as the girls told me what happened at the wake and funeral, and filled me in on all the various Hale relatives who came in from across the country to say goodbye to Rosalie's Grammy. Under different circumstances I might have been bored, but that evening it was the perfect topic of conversation.

Emmett didn't call until well after I got home.

"I'm sure Seth already filled you in," he mumbled after my overly enthusiastic "What's up, Em?"

"Um," I hesitated. I told Seth I would act surprised, but I didn't want to lie to Emmett when he seemed to know or at least suspect that I'd already been told. I decided to hedge. "Kind of. Though he was pretty sketchy on the details. How are you doing?"

"Remember how you felt after Jasper left?"

"Yeah," it wasn't something I was likely to ever forget.

"I'm not doing quite as well as that," he replied. He sounded it, too. In all the years I'd known him, I couldn't remember Emmett ever sounding quite this bad.

"I'm sorry, Em. This is awful. I wish there was something I could do. But you know you have to stay strong and think positive. You and Nasir are meant to be together. I know it with every fiber of my being. Somehow this will all work out. You have to believe that."

"I know, Eddie. I know. It's just," he paused, and I heard a muffled sob. "I'm afraid. I can't lose him, but even under the best of circumstances..."

"Emmy, you can't think like that. Just remember that we are all here for you, for both of you, and we always will be, and we'll all get through this together. All right? How's Nasir doing?"

"Better than I am, thank goodness," Emmett sighed. "He thinks his sister may be able to help. I want to believe it, but I'm scared to hope for too much. God, Eddie, with all the shit I'd been through with guys in my life, I really thought I'd paid my dues. I thought this was it. The brass ring, you know? But this? I never thought I'd be going through anything like this. I don't even know if I have my head wrapped around it yet. I mean, Nasir is mine. He has my heart and I have his, and now he's going to be legally bound to some woman? Someone whom he met once, when they were ten? And she's gonna have more legal right to him than I will? I'm gonna be the other guy? The home wrecker? And if something happens to him and he's in the hospital somewhere, she's gonna be the one they call, she's gonna be the one to sit in his room beside him, she's gonna be the one to make decisions. I just... I keep thinking this is a nightmare and keep waiting for the alarm to go off so I can wake up, but it's been days and the alarm is silent."

"Emmett," my heart was breaking for my wonderful gentle friend, who most definitely did not deserve this kind of hardship. "Hang in there, buddy. Just hold on. You know if there is any way out of this, Seth and Garrett and Nasir will find it. And I will do anything I can too. You know I will. Do you want me to come over? You know you only have to say a word."

"No," he said painfully. "I appreciate the offer, Eddie, I do, but right now I just want to be with Nasi, just the two of us. I don't know how much longer I'll have him like that, and I don't want to waste a second."

"Well, then I will let you go. What about the others? Maggie and Rose, and Jasper? Do you want to tell them or should I or would you prefer they not know?"

"I don't want to talk to anyone, to be frank. It's just too damn hard to keep talking about it over and over. Hearing it in my head is bad enough without saying it out loud. But you can tell them. They should know. I know it's a lot to ask, but,"

"Don't be silly," I cut him off. "It's the least I can do. Just do me a favor and have Seth keep me updated on what's going on, so I don't have to bug either of you. Don't keep me in the dark anymore, all right, no matter what the motives. I can handle the news, whatever it is, and I'll be more pissed if you guys keep things from me. And you know if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on you just call and I'll be there. And the same goes for Nasir. Now go and be with your guy. I love you both."

"We love you too , Eddie. Thanks. I know Nasi would tell you the same thing. I'll tell Seth to keep in touch. I suppose there will be some news soon, just as soon as Nasi can talk to his sister."

"I really, really hope it all goes well and we manage to find some way out of this mess that does not involve Nasir taking marriage vows with some stranger. I'll be thinking of you guys. Take care, all right?"

Emmett said he would and we hung up.

It was tough falling asleep that night, worried as I was about my friends. My imagination was clearly a lot more limited than Seth and Garrett's, because I just couldn't see any way the situation could come to a workable end if Nasir chose to go ahead with the marriage. It's not that I didn't know many gay men led closeted lives as devoted family men, satisfying their natural cravings in club back rooms or hotels or, on occasion, with secret partners. But just because that was a reality for some gay men and their lovers, didn't mean that it could work for Nasir and Emmett.

I felt sorry for every member of that unfortunate triangle. First of all Nasir, for being unable to overcome his fear and come out to his family. Perhaps with the exception of his sister, who seemed to know he was gay and had no problem with it, I never had the impression that he and any of his family were particularly close, so I wasn't sure what caused his reluctance to come out, even at the risk of alienating them forever. Seth and I could tell him first hand that while the confrontation was painful and the rejection stung, for Seth even more so than for me, in the end our decisions to reject our fathers' bigotry and live our lives true to ourselves had been well worth it. Obviously the fear for Nasir's physical safety was real, but he could tell his family over the phone or in a letter - he didn't have to go back to the Emirates. Because I didn't know or understand his reasoning, I was frustrated with him, but he'd become my close friend too, so I felt for him as well.

I also felt bad for the unsuspecting woman who was being forced to marry a man she knew even less about than she probably imagined. I didn't know much about middle eastern women, but I figured by any standard, Nasir was a catch. He was handsome, intelligent, successful, came from a wealthy family, and, whether she knew it yet or not, he was a decent and kind human being. I imagined there were many women who had to suffer much less desirable matches. Except for one factor that those other women probably would not have to deal with - their husband's total lack of sexual interest in them. I couldn't imagine women in the Emirates being as sex crazed as so many of their American counterparts, but I was sure they did want the normal things from marriage, such as occasional relations with their spouse that eventually resulted in children. Nasir would be unlikely to satisfy these desires, perpetrating a pretty big fraud on the unsuspecting girl. The only hope was that, with Nasir's sister's help, they could come to some sort of a pre-marital understanding. But really, what could that possibly be? The woman would have to take a lover to satisfy her needs. Would Nasir allow that? Would he raise another man's children as his own? And would another man even consent to this kind of an arrangement? Would a devout Muslim woman? Disastrous as even this end result seemed, it was probably too much to hope for.

Of course, I felt worst of all for Emmett. All his life he had done the right things. He hadn't slept around like Seth or me, but waited to meet men who seemed like they had long term potential. And time and time again he'd been disappointed. Until Nasir, when karma seemed to finally give him the perfect guy he had been searching for all along. Only now it was all going to be taken away from him. And for what? So that his partner could fit into some cultural norms that he didn't even care about or respect. Emmett deserved better. After all the shit he's been through himself, and all the good things he'd done for others, he deserved a full-time loving partner, not someone he had to share with a nominal wife. I liked Nasir, and I was sympathetic to some of what he was going through, but if he went through with this sham of a marriage he was going to seriously hurt my friend, and I didn't know if I could forgive that. Like it or not, gay or not, he was going to have to grow some balls and face the fact that he wouldn't be able to have his cake and eat it too. If he tried, Emmett was the one who was going to pay the price.

After a night of fitful sleep, I spent a day at work thoroughly agitated and short tempered, doing my best not to take out my bad mood on the tourists. When I got home, after feeding Remmy and finishing my dinner, I made my round of calls to let everyone know what was happening with Emmett and Nasir. Since my mission was to spread news, not my opinions, I did my best to be factual and neutral. I started with the girls, because I could use the other calls I had to make as an excuse not to prolong our conversation. I knew the longer I spoke with them, the better the chances that I would let my real thoughts on the situation slip, so I kept the chatter to a minimum. Troy and Zack were next, and they too were mostly upset for Emmett. Having known him longer than Nasir, our allegiances we definitely aligned with our big friend.

Next I called Bruce and Tyrone, not so much because I felt they had the need to know, but because with their collective wisdom I thought they might have some suggestions that the rest of us haven't thought of. Unfortunately, even with everything they experienced, they never came across a situation as complicated as this. Or as easy, Bruce opined.

"At the core of it Nasir has to make a decision between his family and his partner. There is no way he can make both happy, so he has to choose which is more important to him."

"I know, Bruce" I said, sighing. "That's how I feel as well. But I think he feels for some reason like he can't choose Emmett. But if he doesn't, then no matter what arrangement they work out with the wife, Emmett will feel second best. It's so tempting to go see Nasir and shake some sense into him, but if Emmett got wind of it he might never speak to me again. I know that as badly as he would feel if Nasir got married, he would feel worse if he thought one of us pressured Nasir to choose Emmett over his family."

"Which may be exactly why Seth and Garrett aren't telling Nasir anything like that either," Tyrone pointed out. "I think they both understand that in order to be meaningful to Emmett, it has to be a conclusion Nasir draws for himself. I'm sure it's just as difficult for them to stand back and wait as it is for you, especially for Seth. He may not have said anything to you because if you agreed it would make it that much harder for him to keep quiet."

"You're probably right," I admitted. "Thanks as always for your wisdom, Ty. I was getting pretty angry over that, but your explanation makes perfect sense. In fact, knowing Garrett and the way the two of you think alike, I'm sure that's it exactly."

"Anytime, Edward. How does Jasper feel about all this?"

"I haven't told him yet. I really wanted to give him a chance to contact me first, though I was hoping he would have done so by now."

"I would think this is an unusual enough circumstance to warrant calling him first. After all, Emmett did ask you to communicate the news, right?"

"Yes," I confirmed, still hesitant. "I just, I don't want to mess this up. I don't want him to think this is a pretext."

Bruce laughed. "It would be rather enterprising on your part to arrange this kind of a situation as a pretext to call someone, Edward. I don't think you need to worry about that. But if you prefer to wait, then wait. Just like Nasir, only you can decide."

It was already seven when we hung up, which made it ten on the east coast. If I was going to call Jasper, I would have to do it soon. I stared at my phone as if it had the answers, but none were forthcoming. It was exactly as Bruce said, only I could decide. I sighed, then took a deep breath and scrolled through the list of my contacts until I came to his name. I was about to take a huge risk, and in the past I hadn't exactly been a successful gambler, but I did have a good reason to call him and I resolved that if I heard any hesitation on his part I would simply relay Emmett's message, reiterate my offer to wait for him to get in touch, and hang up. As back-up plans went, I thought it wasn't bad on short notice. Nervously, I pressed the send button and waited. He answered almost immediately.

"Hey Edward," I could hear sounds of traffic in the background, indicating he was outside somewhere. "I'm just on my way home. Long day. I've been meaning to call, but work's been crazy. I literally have been doing nothing but working and sleeping, with a few food and bathroom breaks thrown in just to avoid collapse."

"Oh," I said, taken aback. I hadn't expected him to start off with a quasi-apology. "Wow, you're just going home, huh? That's a really long day. You must be exhausted."

"I'm used to it," he said casually. "Some weeks are worse than others, and this just happens to be one of them."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear it's been a bad week. I wish my call could make it better,"

"It is good to hear your voice," he offered. "I've been thinking about the things we talked about this weekend. A lot. And how glad I am that I decided to go to Seattle for the wedding."

"I'm really glad too, Jas," I echoed, suddenly filled with warmth. Then I remembered the reason for my call. "But speaking of weddings, that's kind of why I'm calling."

"Oh?" he sounded slightly more cautious.

"I actually totally intended to wait for you to call me, but Emmett asked me to tell you what's been happening."

"That sounds a little ominous."

"Well, it kind of is. I know you didn't have a chance to spend any time with Nasir, so you don't really know him, but he is the love of Emmett's life."

"I gathered that from what Emmett told me, and I certainly got a great impression when I did meet Nasir. Edward, what's going on?"

"Well, I think you know Nasir wasn't at the wedding because he was attending his brother's wedding in the Emirates."

"Emmett did mention that, yes."

"Apparently in the Emirates marriages are arranged by the father."

"Oh, shit," Jasper sounded like he knew already where I was going.

"Yeah. Right before the brother's wedding, Nasir's father announced that he found a bride for Nasir as well."

"Damn! So what happened?"

"Well, not much. Nasir's family makes my father look downright tolerant, and in the Emirates homosexuality is illegal and can be punishable by death. Needless to say, Nasir wasn't eager to come out. He just went along with it."

"But when he came back to Seattle he called his family and told them, right?"

"Not exactly. Right now he's hoping that he can work something out with the bride so that they can get married, but he can still be with Emmett."

"And what does Emmett think of that?"

"He isn't crazy about the idea, but he loves Nasir and I don't think he's willing to ask Nasir to choose between him and his family."

"What a cluster fuck!" he exclaimed and I smiled, imagining him running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"That's exactly what I said. Nasir is hoping his sister can help with his intended, so they might be going to the Emirates. But I don't know. Emmett's a strong guy, but he's been through a lot, especially when it came to his love life."

"He was always the idealist," Jasper commented. "Doomed to disappointment."

"Until he found his ideal man - Nasir. Only now, well..."

I heard him sigh. "God, Edward, that really sucks. I take it he doesn't want to talk about it? That's why he asked you to tell me?"

"Yeah, he's totally overwhelmed. He doesn't even want to see anyone, just wants to spend time alone with Nasir."

"Sure, I totally get that. Jesus. I wish there was something I could do."

"Me too, Jasper. All of us do. In the end, though, it's up to Nasir and Emmett. They have to figure out what they can and cannot handle. All we can do is wait to see what happens. And give them as much support as they need."

"Right. Well, if you talk to them, pass along my best. And let me know if there are any new developments. I wish I could talk more now, but I have to get something to eat and then get some sleep. Things should slow down for me after tomorrow, though. Can I call you tomorrow evening?"

As if he even had to ask.

"Sure," I tried to sound casual. "I'll be around tomorrow night."

"Good, I'll do that, then. Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Jas." I let him sever the connection, then flipped the phone closed and hugged it close to my chest. He didn't mind me calling at all. If he hadn't been so busy at work, he would have called me. And he was going to call me, the next day! I sank back against the sofa and closed my eyes, not bothering to open them even when I felt Remmy step onto my lap. "Wow!" I said out loud for Remmy's benefit. It really happened. We were really becoming friends again. And once we got over his initial reluctance, it had been so easy, almost seamless. Almost as if no time had passed and there had been no bad feelings between us at all. It seemed too good to be true.

I slept well that night and had pleasant dreams, though I could remember no specific details when I woke up. My work day was in stark contrast to the previous one. Whereas Tuesday I had been like a bear with a thorn in my paw, I could not have been nicer to everyone Wednesday. Nothing anyone said or did could ruin my good mood. Some of the other rangers noticed and asked what accounted for the sudden shift in my mood, but I wasn't about to tell them that I was walking on air in anticipation of a phone call with a friend. Only Roger, obviously aware of the whole story, guessed at the reason, and I didn't bother trying to hide anything from him.

"Good luck, Edward," he said, laughing, as he clapped me on the back. "Way to keep that ball in play."

Jasper didn't say what time he'd call, so I figured I just needed to follow my regular routine. When I got home I gave Remmy food and changed his water, then started preparing my dinner. It took little time to chop up the beef & broccoli and to prepare the sesame garlic sauce, and almost as little time to stir-fry the concoction. My phone remaining stubbornly silent, I sat down to eat, some of the excitement I'd felt all day slowly being displaced by the more familiar anxiety. I tried to remember exactly what he'd said on the phone - that things should slow down for him today. Which meant that there was a possibility that they wouldn't slow down and he might not find time to call. I did my best to accept the realization factually, without letting the disappointment take over. It was still early. Plenty of time for him to make good on his promise.

I loaded the dishwasher and headed out to the deck. It was a beautiful, clear evening, perfect for sitting out and relaxing. In fact, had it not been for the anticipation of Jasper's call, I might have stayed on the Mountain after my shift was over and gone hiking. As it was, I'd have to find other ways to distract myself while waiting. The phone rang just as I was going back inside to find something to read. I smiled, hearing the unfamiliar ring that I had assigned to his number.

"Hello, Jasper," I answered warmly.

"Edward, hi, I hope this is a good time."

"Perfect. I just got done with dinner and was going to sit out and read. How about you? Are you home, I hope?"

"Well, I'm not at work, anyway. You actually inspired me with all your talk of the outdoors. I grabbed some food on the way home and decided to dine in Central Park. I don't come here often, and I forgot that if you go a little deeper in, there's almost enough green to remind me of Forks, As long as I don't look up and see Manhattan all around," he laughed and I followed his lead.

"So you're having a picnic for one in Central Park? Better be careful that some guy doesn't see that as an invitation," I teased. He laughed again.

"A couple of guys have been eyeing me with interest," he retorted. I knew he meant to be funny, but I was instantly alarmed. The initial flare of jealousy was quickly replaced with concern for his welfare.

"You're being careful, right? You're not too far away from other people?"

He laughed louder. "Edward, are you worried about me? You can relax. I've lived here for a while and I know better than to take stupid risks. Besides, these guys are just cruising for tricks. They're harmless."

My concern was momentarily replaced by anger at the presumption of the shadowy men who were observing Jasper. He wasn't some trick for someone to pick up on a walk through the park! Just as quickly, another thought occurred to me. After having no contact with him for six years, I really didn't know what kind of a man he was or wasn't. Maybe he felt so comfortable assessing these guys because on other nights he'd either done what they were doing, or had been picked up himself. I shook my head to rid myself of the sudden uncertainty.

"So what's for dinner?" I asked instead.

"Shrimp fried rice and a damn tasty eggroll."

"Really? How funny. I stir fried tonight. Beef and broccoli."

"You cook?" he could not have sounded more surprised.

"Well, yeah," I said, a little defensively. "I live alone and I don't live in the city, so take-out is not as easy. Plus I enjoy cooking."

"Hey, it wasn't a criticism. It's just that back when I knew you about the only thing you could make was cereal, or maybe cheese and crackers."

"Right," I agreed, thinking back to the days when my father thought it was effeminate for me to even be in the kitchen, much less prepare something edible. "I guess that's another thing that's changed. Do you cook?"

Jasper laughter seemed a little strained. "Not really. Most of the time I eat on the run."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Though it's nice to have a home cooked meal every once in a while too. Maybe the next time you're in town I can make us dinner?" I suggested, then held my breath, waiting for his response.

"Sure, that sounds fun," I could tell he was a little hesitant. "Though it might be a while before I make my way out there again. My work schedule really is kind of crazy. And this summer the show's going on location for a week in Chicago, so that's gonna be even more stressful."

"Chicago, huh? Well, hopefully it won't be all work and you can get in some sightseeing."

"I was thinking about extending my stay a little. I've actually never been to Chicago, but from what I hear it's a fun town to visit."

"I'm sure it is. I've never been either. To be honest, I feel a little provincial next to you. I mean, you live in New York City and have lived in London and spent that summer with your dad in Europe, and probably traveled a lot within the United States too, while I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I left the state of Washington."

"Really?" he seemed surprised again. "I see what you mean about being a homebody," he teased.

"Yeah, I guess so. I've always wanted to travel, but I guess the opportunity never really came up."

"Well, if you've never been to Chicago, why not meet me there? I'll be working during the week, but after about noon on Friday I'll be free. We could spend the weekend exploring the city together."

I was stunned speechless. I gripped the arm rest on the deck chair with my free hand so hard my fingers turned white. Was it possible that I heard him correctly? Did he really just invite me to spend the weekend with him in Chicago?

"Um, when are you going?" I half expected him to reply by asking me 'Going where?'

"It's the last week in July. I don't remember the dates off the top of my head, but I think the weekend spills over into August. I can e-mail you the information tomorrow. Think you could swing it?"

"I'd have to check with my boss. Summer is our busy season on the Mountain," I answered as offhandedly as I could, knowing I would murder with my bare hands anyone who tried to get in the way of this trip. I'd sooner quit my job than miss out on this weekend with Jasper.

"Oh, right," was it my imagination or did he sound a bit disappointed? "I suppose summer weekends are especially busy, and you already took one off for the wedding."

"I'll see what I can do. My boss likes me and I might be able to pull in some favors." Shit, I'd give people double their weekly pay in cash to take over my shift if Roger refused to cooperate, though I didn't anticipate that to be a problem. "Where are you staying?" I asked, ready to call and make reservations as soon as we hung up.

"You know, I don't remember. Something on or near Michigan Avenue. I'll put that in the e-mail too, so you can book your room."

I didn't miss the message. We might be sightseeing together, but we weren't staying together. I wasn't even disappointed, since I never expected otherwise. I remembered Bruce and Troy's advice well, and was not about to rush him. The fact that he suggested the trip was already an unexpected bonus. At this stage of the game, it was more than enough.

"Sounds great, I'll look into taking the time off tomorrow and let you know. Do you have anything in particular you want to see, or are we just going to wing it?"

"I really haven't thought about it. I mean, I want to go to boystown one evening, that seems like a must, but otherwise I'm kind of relying on the show. I figure we'll cover all the major attractions, so that's how I'll decide what I want to see. How about you? Anything on your must see list?"

Just you, I thought. "Not really. I heard good things about the Shedd Aquarium, but you're probably not too interested in that. Maybe I'll come early and check that out while you're still working."

"Well, you're welcome to come early, of course, but I'd like to go to the aquarium. I heard it was recently renovated or something. Let's do that together."

Outside the sun was going down, but the warmth that radiated from within me made me feel like I was basking in the brightest sunlight. This was absolutely perfect. The two of us in a completely neutral territory, a city new to the both of us where we could naturally discover our interests and get to know each other all the better. I was nearly giddy with excitement. I was ready to drive to the airport and hop on a plane to meet him in Chicago tomorrow. Fortunately, the rational side of me still retained some control, so instead I continued the conversation.

We talked for another hour, mostly discussing the various things we could remember about Chicago, making a mental list of other tourist attractions we both wanted to include on our itinerary. At some point Jasper left Central Park, and my fist tightened as I heard him quietly and politely decline some asshole's offer to take him home for the night.

"He was perfectly harmless, Edward," Jasper said to me, as if he could sense my tension. "Just looking for someone to share his lonely night."

"Maybe he wouldn't be so lonely if he tried to meet men in normal places, instead of skulking around Central Park in the dark like some deviant psychopath," I barked, still fuming, though Jasper's genuine laughter soon brought me out of my mood.

"You're probably right, but there may be reasons why the guys in the park can't go to meet men in normal places. As long as they don't bother me or hurt anyone, I say live and let live."

About 20 minutes later, with the remainder of our talk accompanied by the soundtrack of Manhattan evening traffic, Jasper reached his apartment. Somewhat reluctantly, I thought, he said it was time for him to go. We exchanged goodnights and then it was time to turn off the phone, sit back and marvel at how much my life had transformed in less than a week.

Jasper's e-mail arrived the following day, as promised. He and the rest of the crew were staying at the Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers, right on the Chicago river and only a couple blocks off Michigan Avenue. I quickly made my own reservations. Roger had already approved the vacation, since I was giving him plenty of notice to re-arrange schedules and make sure they had full coverage while I was gone. I decided to fly out Thursday morning, which would give me a little time in the city on my own while Jasper worked, though I was half hoping he'd find time to have dinner together Thursday evening as well. I noticed there was a Shula's Steak House in the hotel, so even if he had no time to go out, we could grab a good meal downstairs.

Instead of e-mailing him with the news, I decided to call him after dinner. I was prepared for a short conversation if he turned out to be busy, but as it happened he had some time, so we ended up talking for over an hour. Like me, he'd done a little research on Chicago and we compared notes on what we'd been able to discover. I thought the fact that he was apparently as excited as I was about the upcoming trip bode well. I tried to keep a tight lid on my expectations, fully aware that a renewal of friendship did not mean that Jasper had any interest in taking things further, but that night, as the excitement of the previous two days kept me awake, I stroked myself to an orgasm with thoughts about Jasper that went decidedly beyond mere friendship.

Seth called Friday afternoon, making me feel horrible for being so absorbed with Jasper that I forgot about Nasir and Emmett's ordeal. Fortunately, I was between tours and able to take his call. I could tell Seth was just as distracted by his best friend's plight, since he didn't even ask me about Jasper. In a way, I was glad not to have to share my news. I would, of course, tell them all eventually, but for a little while I wanted to keep things to myself and, for once, not have to dissect what happened. So I kept any references to my talks with Jasper out of the conversation and, instead, concentrated on the reason for Seth's call.

"Nasir finally got in touch with his sister, Samira, and she is ready to do what she can to help him and Emmett. They flew to London today to pick her up, and then the three of them will fly back to the Emirates so that Samira can talk to Dimah, that's the future wife."

"Explain to me again why they need Nasir's sister to do this?"

"Because in their culture it would be improper for men and women to see each other, even if they're engaged. So it's not like Nasir can talk to her himself. And his sister is the only one in his family who knows he's gay. He didn't even tell her until right before the engagement announcement, though she had suspected for a while. He told us she saw him and Emmett out together in Las Vegas and had been suspicious since then. She even tried to get him to admit it when he stopped to see her on our way back from our vacation in the Emirates, but he panicked and denied everything. It wasn't until he went back for Kasim's wedding that he finally felt comfortable enough to tell her."

"Good thing he did. If he hadn't, it would be even harder to ask her for help now."

"True."

It wasn't usual for Seth to reply with single words, or to be so quiet. I couldn't help the nagging sense of dread.

"You don't think this will work, do you?" I almost hated to ask.

"You know I'm not a fortune teller," he snapped.

"I'm not asking you to predict the future," I said softly. "I'm asking for your opinion. But if you prefer not to say, I'd understand." I knew all about not wanting to jinx things. If Seth wanted to keep his thoughts and opinions to himself, I would not pressure him to reveal them.

He sighed. "No, it's okay. I'll tell you. You already guessed anyway. I don't have a good feeling about this. Truth be told, I'm really scared, for both of them. I keep thinking I should have gone with them. It's an impossible situation and I don't like either of them going back there with the idea of telling someone, anyone, that they're gay. Remember when I told you about that idiotic prank Nasir cooked up when we were on vacation over there? He thought he was being funny, but if that's how things really are over there, then what they're doing is the equivalent of walking into the lion's den."

"What does Garrett say about all this?" I asked, hoping that Seth's husband had some hidden wisdom.

"He says we have to be strong for them, can't let them see how worried we are. He doesn't really like them going back to the Emirates either, but he understands why Nasir has to do that. I understand too, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing. Probably it's nothing. Just stupid day residue."

"Huh?" I didn't understand.

"I've been dreaming, and the dreams aren't exactly good. But it's probably just my mind making up stories with day residue. This is pretty much the only thing I've thought about all week."

"Is there anything you can do?" I asked. "Some sort of good fortune dance or something?" I knew it sounded insulting, like I was belittling his culture and their traditions, but nothing could be further from the truth. I simply didn't know a lot about it, beyond the stereotypes I'd seen on TV, but I did know that desperate times called for desperate measures, and in this situation Emmett and Nasir couldn't have enough guardian spirits watching over them.

"There's no dance," he chuckled mirthlessly. "I wouldn't be qualified to dance it even if there was, though that probably wouldn't be enough to stop me. I did take out my Eagle feather and appealed to what my people call the Grandfather Spirit. I figured it can't hurt, right?" For once, he sounded in need of my reassurance.

"Of course it can't hurt. I'm sure it will help. And Garrett is right. We need to stay strong and keep positive thoughts for them. God, I wish Nasir would have just called his father and told him the truth, instead of jumping through all these hoops," I finally voiced my frustration.

Seth remained silent. The lack of rebuke at my outburst spoke volumes, though.

"I guess all we can do now is wait," he finally said. "It will be a while. The won't reach London until tomorrow, and then won't reach the Emirates until Monday."

"Try not to dwell on it too much until then, okay?" I requested. "I know that's not easy to do, but next week will be stressful enough. Maybe do a double yoga session this weekend. Or a fuckathon with your husband?"

I was happy that this actually made Seth snicker. "Look at you being so full of good advice, Edward. I think I'll consider it."

"You do that, Seth. And let me know when you hear something, all right?"

"Yes, of course I will. Talk to you soon. Kisses,"

Jasper didn't call Friday night and I refrained from calling him as well, not wanting him to feel smothered and also fearing that I could potentially interrupt him while he was out with his friends or, worse, a boyfriend. With his prohibition on talking about personal lives, we haven't discussed whether either of us was with anyone. I had hoped telling him what I liked to do gave a strong enough hint that I wasn't attached, but his mention of clubbing with friends wasn't nearly as easy to read. On the one hand, he didn't mention anyone special. On the other, cagey as he was, I wasn't sure how far he would go to avoid mentioning a special guy, if one existed.

The thought of Jasper with someone else made me uneasy. I wasn't foolish enough to think that he'd been celibate for the six years he'd been gone. Like most gay men our age, he'd probably had many hook ups, maybe some casual relationships, maybe even some serious ones, like my relationship with Cliff. I wasn't interested in comparing score cards, and I didn't really care about any relationships he might have had in the past. I did very much care about any relationship he might be in now, however casual. It was premature to think of anything beyond friendship with him, and yet I couldn't help but hope that there was no one in his life who might prevent us from going down a relationship path, if we thought there was any chance of making that work. Even after I reminded myself that Zack had been with someone when Troy began his quest to win him back, my discomfort didn't abate. Troy had known everything there was to know about Zack's life. I knew very little about Jasper's, only what he'd chosen to reveal so far, which wasn't a lot. I was flying blind and I found it disconcerting. I wondered how long it would take before he trusted me enough to let the fog dissipate and actually shared more of his life with me.

In my rather agitated state, even though it was a Friday night and I had to work early the next day, I actually considered driving into Seattle and picking up a trick at the club. Nothing serious, maybe just a blow job in the back room to buttress my self-confidence and take the edge off. I got as far as going into my closet and selecting an outfit before I realized the complete stupidity of my actions. What if Jasper innocently asked what I had done this weekend during one of our future calls? I'd told him I was a homebody and didn't go clubbing much. I would therefore either have to lie, or try to explain why I acted so out of my supposed new character. Neither seemed like a good idea. Another option was to call up one of the twinks whose number I'd actually saved and have some phone sex or maybe use our web cams, but chances of anyone being home and available on a Friday night were slim, and even if they were, I sure as fuck didn't want them to know the same was true for me. That left me with a do it yourself handyman's special, an option that was more than a little familiar and usually served me quite well. The more I thought about it, the less I minded. My own hand was comfortable and familiar, my mind could conjure up all sorts of Jasper fantasies, and if asked, I could honestly say I spent my Friday night at home, relaxing. It was the best of all worlds.

It was still pretty early, but it had been a long and emotionally tiring week, and I really wanted to relax and take my time, so I decided to retire well before my regular bedtime. I got ready for bed, stripped naked, took the lube out of my nightstand drawer to keep it handy, turned off the lights and lay back on the bed. This was different. Not that I didn't take care of myself on a pretty regular basis, but I tended to either do it in the shower or in the office, watching Internet porn. Like Emmett, I had a collection of favorite and reliable porn DVD's, but with my subscriptions to several web sites plus links to free porn sites, I hardly ever actually watched them. After all, when it came to jacking yourself off, it was nice to have visual variety. Lately, though, I found myself thinking about only one man, and this night was absolutely no different.

Stretched out on the bed on top of the covers, I resolved to go slowly and make my fantasy last as long as possible. Though it was already dark in the room, I closed my eyes and pictured Jasper at the wedding. That alone was enough to get my cock stirring. I ran my hand over my chest, lightly pinching first my right nipple, then my left, as I envisioned him in that beautifully cut and fitted navy suit. My hand traveled downward, my fingers twining through and then lightly tugging at the trail of hair leading the way down to my now fully hard dick. I let my fingertips glide over my engorged shaft, not stroking or even squeezing, not yet, but rather just barely floating over the now taut skin.

I thought of the end of the reception, except in my fantasy he wasn't rushing off to leave. Instead, my fantasy Jasper reached up and slowly but deliberately untied his tie, leaving just the loose ends hanging around his neck before unbuttoning several top buttons of his shirt, exposing more of his neck and chest. I put my thumb, index and middle finger of my left hand in my mouth to wet them and moaned again as I used them to tweak and twist my nipples. With my right hand I fondled my balls in the still somewhat loose sac. It was the mildest form of stimulation, but I wasn't in a hurry. It felt good to do this slowly, taking my time, savoring every mental image of him instead of merely rushing through the motions en route to a swift release.

My fantasy motion picture played on, as its star allowed me to lead him to the elevator that would take us to my suite. I pictured the two of us in the elevator, him pressed against the back wall as I leaned into him and kissed him passionately. I gave myself a slow stroke and moaned thinking about his soft, full lips moving against my own, imagining our tongues gliding against one another first in his mouth, and then in mine. In my head I heard the elevator bell ring and the doors sliding apart. I envisioned myself pulling him in the direction of the suite door, letting us in with the key card, then not waiting until the heavy door was firmly shut behind us before I pulled him further into the room.

My grip on my cock tightened and the pace of my strokes increased as I imagined him standing in the suite in front of the bed, that incredibly sexy smirk on his face as he shrugged off his jacket and began to pull his shirt tails out of his pants. Unfortunately, my faster strokes resulted in more friction, which began to cause discomfort. Mildly annoyed at the interruption, I reached for the lube, flipped open the cap and squirted some into my right hand. I worked the gel in my hand for a moment to warm it up, then gripped my swollen rod and moved the makeshift slickened tunnel up and down. My fantasy Jasper resumed his striptease, opening the rest of the buttons of his shirt and letting the garment fall to the floor as he ran his hand over his chest before reaching for his fly.

Despite my best intentions to go slow, my imagination was working too well and I began to pant. My right hand was moving even faster over my iron-hard pole and I shifted my left hand to my balls, running the fingers less gently now over the wrinkled ridges of my tightening scrotum. In my head I walked up to Jasper and stopped him. I pulled him into another deep kiss, then did what I wanted to do more than anything in real life. I sank down to my knees and reached for his fly myself. My fantasy Jasper nodded in encouragement when I looked up at him to silently ask permission, the sexy smirk still gracing his perfect lips.

Feeling myself careening towards the edge, I slowed down my strokes and stayed away from my sensitive head and frenulum. I was determined not to get off before I could do the same for fantasy Jasper, and I definitely did not want to rush what my mind was planning next. I loosened my grip completely and began ghosting my fingers over the length of my rod again. In my fantasy I quickly worked Jasper's pants open and pulled them down along with his boxers. I pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed as I removed the garments, as well as his socks and shoes, leaving him gloriously naked. And hard! Fantasy Jasper's impressive erection stood proudly from a patch of closely trimmed blond hair. I didn't hesitate, throwing just one glance up at his face before placing my hands on his knees to spread them wider and moving my face between his legs to gently lap at his heavy smooth balls. My own nuts receded even further towards the base of my cock as I stroked them in the same rhythm. Then, as in my fantasy I finally took his beautiful dick into my mouth, I gripped myself tightly again.

One benefit of self-pleasure is the instant and completely accurate feedback, which makes it so easy to control the process, to advance and back off as needed in order to stave off release. I took absolute advantage of this and varied the pace and length of my strokes to bring myself to the edge time and time again and then to back off, just as I was imagining doing with my dream Jasper. Only when the teasing torture really got to be too much, as the head of my cock throbbed painfully and my body shook for release, did I finally take mercy on the equally charged up and writhing man in my fantasy and delivered the deep suction that resulted in my imaginary mouth being flooded with his love juice. In real life, the mere thought of bringing him to orgasm, of his thick cock pulsing against my tongue as I gulped down his nectar, aided only slightly by a movement of my slicked thumb over my engorged head and the ridge of my frenulum, was enough to make me come as hard as I ever had before. My body bucked and trembled as my cock released ropes of ejaculate over my torso, seemingly without end. I'd brought myself so close so many times, my oversensitive dick could take no more stimulation, and when I finally calmed down enough to lie still, I just held myself in a loose grip, gently milking the last of my cum from my still hard but very spent rod.

I felt great, just lying there, still high on post-orgasmic euphoria, my hand loosely wrapped around my softening penis, my mind continuing to swirl with thoughts of Jasper. I'd sucked his sweet cock once, only once, when I had no idea what I was doing, and I so wanted another chance to show him everything I'd learned since then. I could only hope that in time, as we grew closer again, he would realize how much I loved him and would give me a chance to show him how good I could make him feel. There was nothing I would love more than to see the look of post coital bliss on his face, and to know that I was the one who put it there. Nothing would bring me greater pleasure.

I lay there thinking and thoroughly enjoying my complete relaxation. I knew I should have gotten up and cleaned up, but I was too weak to move and I really didn't want the amazing feeling to end. I felt like I had somehow transcended my human form. Instead of a solid body resting on the bed, I felt light, almost floating. Rationally I knew I was merely drifting somewhere between conscious thoughts and dreams, but I enjoyed the sensation too much to bother with a thorough analysis. Instead I imagined what it would be like to have Jasper beside me, equally spent and serene. My imagination was amazingly powerful, because I actually felt the bed beside me dip, followed by a fleeting sensation of something soft ghosting against my skin, and then a warm tongue lapping at my chest. Then I realized that the tongue, while certainly warm, was also small and raspy.

"Fuck!"

Panicked, I opened my eyes to find Remmy lapping at one of the ribbons of now cool and drying cum that decorated my chest. I reached up and unceremoniously yanked him away from me, depositing him on the other side of the bed. He meowed indignantly, offended by this treatment.

"Sorry, Remmy, but you really did not want to taste that. It's not your kind of cream," I explained, as though he had the capacity to understand. He stared at me, his blue eyes, so much like Jasper's, seemingly mocking my initial inability to tell the difference between my Jasper fantasy and the reality of my pet hopping onto the bed beside me. And he was right. I should have realized immediately it was him. While keeping him away during masturbation was easy when I chose to take care of myself in the shower or behind the closed doors of my office, it always did pose a potential problem in bed. My bedroom was as much Remmy's room as mine, and I never had been able to lock him out of that room just so I could jack myself off in peace. Fortunately, he seemed to have some sort of innate sixth sense and had never interrupted before. And, to be fair, he still hadn't interrupted anything, just joined me when he thought I was done. It wasn't his fault that I chose to ignore my regular cleansing protocol before I went to sleep.

"Be quiet," I ordered impatiently as he meowed again. I was embarrassed and mildly horrified, but there was nothing to do about it now except get up and do what I should have done in the first place. The tranquil moment was ruined now anyway, so there was little reason not to take care of the mess.

I padded to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror before reaching for the wash cloth. I looked positively decadent, my chest festooned with drying, opaquely milky rivulets. Then I was no longer seeing myself, but imagining Jasper at home, engaged in the same activities as me, his chest similarly coated with his jizz. Despite the recent thorough and exhausting workout, my dick perked up a little with interest. I smiled, opened my eyes and reached down to give myself a slow, loose stroke, then ran my fingers lightly over my scrotum. I knew I wouldn't be ready to go again so soon, nor did I really want or need to, but I enjoyed the tactile contact and hoped that maybe, someday, the fingers running over me after my orgasm would belong to a certain blue-eyed blond beauty who had recently re-entered my life.

I sighed and wet the wash cloth, then used it to clean myself off. I used another towel to dry, turned off the light and returned to bed. Remmy was standing in the center of the bed now, glaring at me resentfully for the extra time I was taking to settle in for the night.

"You don't know how good you got it, cat," I told him, sounding just a bit short. "Someday soon there may be another man in here besides me, and I have no idea if he'll enjoy having you around in the middle of the night. You might have to get used to that cat bed after all."

I pulled back the sheet and climbed underneath, pulling it up to cover myself. Remmy walked up to me, mushing his face into mine as if in apology. "Sorry, Remmy," I said, my tone more conciliatory. "If it comes to choosing between sleeping with you and sleeping with Jasper, I'm afraid Jasper will win every time. But it doesn't mean I love you any less," I reached out and scratched him behind the ears, watching him arch his back with contentment. Apparently satisfied with my explanation, he circled the spot beside me a couple of times, then lay down and began to purr. Soothed once again by the soft, reassuring sound, we both quickly fell asleep.