Chapter 52

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Chapter 52: I Am Whole Again

With my body clock set to get up early for work, I woke up the next day before the alarm even had a chance to go off. I didn't mind, since it meant that I got to enjoy holding the still sleeping Jasper, my arm wrapped securely around his mid-torso to keep him right next to me. I listened to him breathing and inhaled his heady scent, trying to keep as still as I could so as not to wake him prematurely. This was a moment I hadn't had a chance to put in proper perspective the previous morning, when Rufus unceremoniously yanked me out of sound sleep. This was the moment I missed six years ago and waited for ever since. This was the morning after. This was going to sleep after making love and waking up beside each other, instead of in a cold, empty bed. I wanted to experience this moment every day for the rest of my life.

Of course, I knew that was impossible, at least while Jasper and I lived on opposite coasts. Jasper and I hadn't even talked about what would happen after this week, how we would go about making a long distance relationship work. It was still too early to discuss that, and I, for one, didn't want to jinx what was happening between us by getting bogged down in technicalities. While I felt and believed in the strength of our mutual love for each other, I knew we weren't ready yet to seriously talk about the long-term future, not when there were so many things left unsaid about the past and the present.

"Mm, that feels good," Jasper's sleepy voice pulled me out of my musings. I was surprised and annoyed to find that while I'd been thinking, I subconsciously started softly rubbing his chest. I immediately stopped, but of course it was too late. He was already awake and whined in protest. He shifted, turning to face me, and pressed his lips to mine in a sweet kiss.

"I love kissing you before we go to sleep and when we wake up," he said after he pulled away. "Let's always do that."

"Yes," I agreed and kissed him back. He ran his hand over my upper body, pausing occasionally to tweak or squeeze. I closed my eyes in my enjoyment, my hands roaming over him as well. We pressed close together, our morning erections brushing against each other in their own version of hello, causing us both to groan with a mixture of pleasure and regret.

"Do we have time to take care of those?" Jasper voiced our mutual thought.

"We'd have to really rush it if we still want to go to that cowboy breakfast afterwards," I replied honestly, leaving the choice up to him and wondering which option he'd select.

"I don't want to rush," he spoke after a moment's consideration, his eyes finding and holding mine. "It's not like we'll want each other any less if we wait. I think we should wait until we can take our time and get the maximum enjoyment out of it."

I nodded, pleased with his decision. I tightened my hold on him as I rolled onto my back, pulling him along so he was lying on top of me. He gave a startled laugh, which I silenced with a kiss.

"I love you, Jas. And I really love how we still think alike; how we both still have that connection."

"I love that too, Edward. And I love you," he kissed me to illustrate. "But you're really not making it easy to get out of bed," he teased, flexing his hips against mine, our erections connecting again.

"Point taken, Whitlock," I laughed, slapping his butt lightly. "Let's go shower."

Foregoing morning lovemaking meant we had plenty of time to get ready, and we easily met the rest of the cowboy breakfast group in the resort lobby at the appointed hour. Jasper and I exchanged conspiratorial grins as soon as we saw the cowboy who was waiting for our group to gather. We could see all the women in the group shared our appreciation of the 6 foot tall, well-built man in his early 20s, who had the darkly-tanned skin of someone who spent a lot of his time outdoors, dark brown hair and eyes, and an easy, dimpled smile.

"I bet more than one of them has a mind to save a horse right now," I whispered to Jasper.

He snickered. "A few weeks ago we would have been thinking the same thing," he teased, jabbing me with his elbow.

"Perhaps," I laughed, looking the cowboy over head to toe. "He does look like he could be a fun breakfast treat. But now that I have you, I wouldn't want to spoil my appetite."

"Somehow I doubt he'd let you spoil it even if you tried," Jasper countered, "judging by his level of interest in the ladies."

"Well, ladies and gents, it looks like everyone is here, so let's get this ride on the road" the cowboy interrupted any further banter by starting his welcome speech. "I'm Cody, and I'll be one of your wranglers," he said with a wink at one of the girls, a petite firecracker with long ginger hair and a wraparound vine tattoo around her wrist peeking out from under the sleeve of her denim jacket. "I have a van waiting out front to take us to the ranch where I and my buddy, Hank, will match you up with the perfect horses before we hit the trails. During the ride we'll show you some amazing sights here in the Methow Valley before we reach our chuck wagon for your genuine cowboy breakfast."

"And will there be a genuine cowboy for each of us or do we have to share?" the spunky redhead queried as her two girlfriends giggled at her side. Jasper and I smirked at each other, tickled that we weren't the only ones with that thought.

"Darlin', I'll make sure you get everything for breakfast that you can handle," he smiled at her and tipped his hat, his tone flirty but not overly suggestive. "And of course the same goes for the rest of the group. I guarantee you won't be disappointed with the fare. We have the best cook around manning the chuck wagon. For now, though, just follow me out to the van and we'll be on our way."

There were fourteen of us altogether. Besides Jasper and me there was a family of four with two kids, a teenage boy and a pre-teen girl, a middle aged couple, and another couple who looked like they were probably just into their retirement. In addition there was a guy in his late thirties who seemed to be traveling alone, and the redhead and her posse, all three of them in their late twenties or possibly early thirties, who seemed to be on some sort of a reunion or girls' getaway. It was these three who were shamelessly flirting with our cowboy guide, as well as with the single traveler and, to our growing amusement, with Jasper and me. Where once I might have been annoyed, I was now secure enough in Jasper's affections that the girls' flirting didn't bother me. Neither of us had the heart to spoil their obvious fun by revealing that we were actually together, so Jasper and I merely played along, making sure we didn't actually do anything to give them any wrong ideas about the nature of our interest.

The van ride to the ranch was short and filled with Cody's cheerful commentary. Upon arrival we made our way to the enclosure where another cowboy stood waiting for us next to a bunch of saddled horses.

"Everyone, this is Hank. Hank and I are going to be your guides on this ride, though he drew the short straw this morning and had to saddle up all the horses while I went to get you." Cody laughed, while Hank pulled a piece of straw he'd been chewing and held it up as if to corroborate Cody's story.

"Welcome, folks. As you can see, we special ordered a beautiful day for you today, so we should have a real fine morning ride, and then we'll stop and feed you real good so that the horses get an even better work out on the way back." Looking slightly older than Cody, Hank was equally built, but had darker coloring and looked slightly more weathered.

"Now to start, let's just see what we're all dealing with as far as the range of experience. Have any of you ridden horses before?" Hank asked, walking towards us with a slightly bow-legged gait. About half the people raised their hands, including the retiree couple, the three girls and the lone guy. The daughter in the family of four raised her hand high as well.

"That's great," Hank said with approval. "You all can go with Cody and he'll set you up with hats and horses. How old are you darlin'?" he asked the youngest member of our group.

"Eleven," she announced proudly in a way that made it obvious she only just celebrated her birthday.

"Well, see, here's the thing. We have these rules that say anyone under the age of twelve gets to wear a safety helmet, and I guess that means you. Now don't y'all get jealous now, there are enough helmets for anyone who wants one, but, what's your name, darlin'?" He asked

"Suzie," the girl wasn't nearly as confident in announcing her name.

"Suzie here has to wear one," Hank was speaking not just to the girl now, but also to her parents.

"That's fine. We'll all wear the helmets," her mother announced in a show of solidarity, ignoring the scowls from her husband and son.

"What do you think, Jas? Helmets?" I asked under my breath, remembering he'd been apprehensive about the ride. I'd never been on a horse either, and I had to admit even from a few feet away the big beasts were somewhat intimidating, but I was reasonably sure the horses were gentle and safe and the helmets were probably unnecessary. I'd wear one if Jasper wanted us to, though.

"I think we'll be okay without them," Jasper said hesitantly.

"There's nothing wrong with being careful."

"Yeah, but I don't really want to see either of us get helmet hair," he said and I laughed.

In the end vanity won out, and we both donned the cowboy hats to shield us from the sun without any additional head protection. Hank then led our group to the horses, pairing one with each rider. My horse, Bo, was tall, broad and chestnut colored with a dark brown mane and tail. Jasper's mount, Uno, was even bigger than mine and had a shiny black coat. Once every rider had a horse, Hank demonstrated and helped us mount up. I noticed Jasper moved somewhat gingerly while getting into the saddle, and I smirked at first, figuring I knew what the problem was. When the pained look on his face didn't immediately disappear, however, I became concerned.

"Are you okay?" I asked so that only he could hear. Jasper shifted in the saddle and winced again.

"I'll be all right," he replied, equally quietly. "Though perhaps going riding after having been well ridden twice the night before was not the best idea."

"We don't have to do this if you're too uncomfortable," I quickly offered. The last thing I wanted was for him to be in pain.

"It's fine, Edward," he reassured. "I'll get used to it. Besides, Uno here might be offended if I backed out now," he said as he reached forward to pat the side of his horse's strong, thick neck. "And don't worry, I'll still be able to take care of my cowboy tonight," he said with a smirk and a leer.

"Jas, that's not even..." I started to protest, but seeing his expression I stopped and laughed. "We'll play that one by ear, all right?"

"Wasn't planning on using my ears. That's a little kinky," Jasper continued to tease. "But what the heck, for you, I'm willing to try."

I burst out laughing, startling Bo, who shifted nervously beneath me, his ears twitching in attention.

"Careful with the sudden loud noises," Hank called from where he was helping the last of our group get in her saddle. "You don't want to spook the horses."

Chastised, I immediately quieted as Jasper snickered beside me. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you," I cautioned in a low voice. "If Bo gets spooked and runs, I bet Uno would follow, and I can't imagine you're in any shape for a morning gallop."

"Point taken," Jasper said and tipped his hat up slightly.

With all the riders ready, Cody and Hank led us out on the trail, which was wide enough for two to three horses to ride side-by-side. Everyone naturally arranged themselves into groups. The three girls engaged the guy who was there by himself, so no one was left out, and I was pleased that Jasper and I were not compelled to exchange banter with the obviously straight stranger for the duration of the ride. The two of us stayed in the middle of the pack and we were both content to listen to Hank and Cody's canned spiels about the surrounding mountains and communities, as well as the native plants and animals.

"It must feel pretty strange to be the tourist, instead of the tour leader, huh?" Jasper asked with a chuckle during one of the infrequent pauses in commentary.

"Oh, are you a guide too?" The redhead, who was riding in front of us, turned in her saddle to ask.

"Edward's a Ranger. He works for the National Parks Service, at Mount Rainier. And he spent last summer working in Stehekin for the North Cascades National Park. We were just up there and he gave me and some other hikers an excellent tour. He knows this stuff inside and out. Well, the nature stuff, anyway," Jasper announced proudly. I was embarrassed, but just as pleased as I had been when he did it with the hikers at Stehekin the previous day. It felt so good to hear him speak about me with such obvious admiration. Admiration that clearly went beyond that of a mere friend and travel companion, something the girl was sensitive enough to notice.

"Ah, so this isn't very different from work for you, it is?" she looked at me briefly, but then her gaze wandered right back to Jasper. "When I go on vacation I like a little change of pace from the everyday grind. That's why the three of us came out here. We all live in bigger cities, so this gives us a chance to relax and kick back, away from our guys. Oh!" she paused as if she'd had a sudden epiphany. "Is this a boy bonding trip for you, away from the girls?" From the seemingly knowing look and smile on her face, it was pretty clear that she was on a fishing expedition, and didn't really think we had girlfriends at home. Jasper flushed slightly and looked over to me, obviously unsure how to answer the direct inquiry.

"It's a re-bonding trip for us. We grew up in the same small town, but lost touch during college. We recently saw each other again at a mutual friend's wedding and decided we needed to reconnect and catch-up," I answered smoothly and very truthfully. I watched surprise etch her face as she processed what I said and, just as I had intended her too, concluded that we were only friends. Then I saw a predatory glint return to her eye, and her gaze went back to Jasper. Having had my fun, and really not wanting her to think she had a chance with my boyfriend or to subject him to hours of having to deflect her and her friends' flirtatious advances, I reached over and placed my hand casually on Jasper's thigh. "After all, you don't often get a second chance with the first person you ever loved."

She looked down at my hand on Jasper's thigh and narrowed her gaze. For a moment I worried that I may have gone too far and made her angry, but then she looked up at me with a giant smile. "You did that on purpose," she made more of a statement than an accusation. "It's not fair, deliberately making a girl think a gorgeous hunk was fair game and then snatching him away for yourself." Her voice was light and her cute pout made it obvious that she had no hard feelings.

"Bea," the friend riding up front with the single guy called to get the redhead's attention. She gave us a quick apologetic look, then turned back to see what her friend wanted. Jasper moved his hand to rest on top of mine and smiled at me warmly. I grinned back. We didn't have to say a thing.

After a little more than thirty minutes of riding, we came up to the chuck wagon. Though this was clearly a field kitchen, it was by no means primitive. Portable picnic tables and benches were set out for the group. Bacon, sausage, hash browns and hot cakes were sizzling on the griddle set atop a huge portable grill. The cook, a third cowboy named Quint, was scrambling eggs in the largest pan I'd ever seen and offering to make fried eggs to order for those of us who didn't care for scrambled. Toast had already been prepared as had a variety of fruit. Blue enamel pitchers of coffee were set up on each table and there was a variety of juices. We were all encouraged to grab a tin plate and load up on food. Jasper and I were in line early and found an empty table to sit at, but were soon joined by the three girls and their new friend.

"If we're gonna eat together, we might as well introduce ourselves, right?" said the redhead, who seemed to enjoy taking the lead. "I'm Bea. This is my friend, DeeAnn, but we just call her Dee," she pointed to one of the other girls. "This is my other friend, Jodie. And that's Dan. Dan is a freelance travel journalist. He's going to do a write up his trip and hopefully sell it to a newspaper or a magazine."

We exchanged greetings with Bea, her companions and Dan, then introduced ourselves.

"So I already know Edward is a Park Ranger," Bea said. "What do you do, Jasper?"

I would have jumped in and proudly explained what Jasper did, but I wasn't sure how much he wanted to reveal. I imagined telling people you worked on a national morning show could bring up bunches of questions he just didn't feel like answering. Jasper surprised me, though, by not only revealing what he did and where he worked, but also by very willingly answering all the ensuing questions, most of which came from the girls. Dan, apparently not as interested in the celebrities Jasper had met, asked me about my job instead, and we spent several minutes chatting over our meal about the National Park Service and his travels. Throughout the breakfast, even when we were not involved in the same conversation, Jasper and I sat close enough on the benches of the portable picnic style tables for our thighs to touch, and that physical contact was enough to make me feel connected to him and happy. It was also more than enough to make it clear to our companions that any flirting we did with the girls was just for fun, with nothing more in mind.

The ride back to the ranch was as pleasant as the ride out, but I wasn't sorry when it was time to take the van back to the resort. While it was always fun to meet new people, I only had so much time to spend alone with Jasper, and I looked forward to every minute of it.

Though we envisioned playing a little when we got back to the room, we found that the full breakfast made us yearn for some vertical activity, so we showered, changed, and drove to Winthrop to check out the self-made Western town. Much like Leavenworth, Winthrop's Western origins were very recent and had been voted on by the town locals in order to bring tourist dollars into the community. Jasper and I didn't mind the lack of authenticity, and the other tourists milling around didn't seem to either. We just had fun walking on the wooden sidewalks and stopping in at various stores. We even bought ourselves a couple of cowboy hats, and wore them throughout the day, pretending to fit in with the faux cowboy locals. We stopped for lunch and then had coffee and ice cream at an outdoor cafe by the river, though Jasper drew the line at sitting on one of the saddle-covered posts at the coffee bar.

"I think it would do me good to take a little break from saddles after this morning," he quipped. "Though I fully expect you to wear that hat and get back in the saddle tonight at the hotel."

I wanted to kiss him, would have kissed him, but the cafe was busy and I didn't want to take a chance on any unpleasantness ruining our perfect time together.

It was close to three in the afternoon when we returned to the lodge from Winthrop, still too soon to start getting ready for dinner.

Looking out at the beautiful heated outdoor pool, I was suddenly inspired.

"You told Seth you had your bathing suit, right?" I asked Jasper. "Interested in going for a swim? The pool looks great and you can't beat the surrounding scenery."

"Sure," he readily agreed. "I haven't been swimming in ages. I'm not even sure why I brought my suit, except that I didn't quite know what to expect and wanted to be ready for anything. But yeah, I'd love to go swimming with you. And this time I might even have enough self-control not to get hard, though if I'm wrong you and everyone else around will know it."

My grin spread from ear to ear. "Dare I hope that the swimsuit is as brief as it sounds."

Jasper blushed. "It was a gift, actually. I really do not go swimming that often. The last time was a couple of years ago. I went to the Hamptons with some friends and they were appalled at how much my previous suit covered up, so they bought me this one and confiscated my old one. I always meant to replace it, but never got around to it, so I had to bring the only swimsuit I had. And yeah, it's brief."

"And I can't wait to see you in it," I enthused, reaching for and squeezing his butt as we walked into our room. He yelped a little and I instantly felt badly, remembering his discomfort earlier.

"Oh good, get that out of your system now, before we get to the pool and all the other guests can see my reaction," Jasper groaned, but in a way that made it clear he was kidding.

Inside the room Jasper retrieved his swimsuit but deliberately kept it hidden from me and went into the bathroom to change. "You want to be surprised, don't you?" he asked before he disappeared behind the closed door. I couldn't argue. While I would never pass up a chance to see him naked, I actually preferred to see him take clothes off, rather than put them on. And waiting for the big reveal was exciting. In the meantime, I retrieved my own swim trunks and quickly put them on.

When Cliff and I were still together, my swimsuit was much smaller and tailored to his preferences. When I bought the house in Covington, however, I purchased trunks that, while not exactly modest in comparison to what my straight male neighbors wore, were more in keeping with the family friendly neighborhood surrounding the lake. The safari style cargo trunks in military olive green with black trim had two front pockets with black strap closures that actually came in handy to hold ID, keys, and other small items, as well as a black drawstring closure. They were in a traditional boxer brief cut with a front pouch generous enough to feature the equipment without crowding. When I wore them to swim in the lake during the summer I often saw women and men checking it out, which let me know that while it may not have been the sexiest option, it was good enough.

Jasper walked out of the bathroom, looking like sex on legs. His low cut tiny briefs were made of a denim-print lycra fabric that clung to him like second skin. The white drawstring tied into a bow right above the generously filled pouch just begged to be undone. The light denim blue of the print went great with his eyes and his skin, which was much paler than mine. The waistband of the briefs rested just above his pubes, showcasing the v of his hips and his sexy treasure trail. It was too much for me to take without having to adjust myself to accommodate my growing cock.

"I take it you approve?" he asked with a smile, watching the pouch of my trunks grow tight.

"Very much!" I advanced on him in a few sure steps and pressed him back against the bathroom wall, attacking his lips as I ground our groins together. "You look so hot!" I whispered in his ear after I broke the kiss. "I'm afraid of how many guys I'm going to have to fight off you when we get to the pool."

Jasper threw his head back and laughed. "Somehow I doubt there will be a single guy here interested in me other than you. Now, the ladies might be a problem, especially Bea, if she and her friends are out there, but I think you should be able to charm them away without having to fight. Besides," he added, running his hands over my ass, "I think you're making the wrong assumption. I'm pretty sure I will be the one trying to keep everyone away from you, as always."

I enjoyed his groping for a few seconds before leaning back to look him in the eye. "You will never, ever have to do that, Jasper. I will always make sure there is absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind who I'm with."

His eyes seemed to lose their light for a moment, but in a flash he was smiling brightly again. "As long as we both know we're together, I don't really care who else does. Let's just accept the fact that when we go out, people will probably flirt with us. There's nothing we can do about it, so there's no point getting angry. Just let it go or go with it, depending on the situation, you know? Let's make a pact right now and promise that kind of innocent flirting will mean nothing and we will ignore it, because at the end of the night we'll have each other, and isn't that all that matters?"

His tone was light, but I sensed a subtle tension ripple through his muscles. He was trying to cover it up, but something put him on edge. I closed my eyes and hugged him, stalling a little so I could really process what he was saying and respond appropriately. My thoughts jumped to my domestic violence survivor counseling training. Parts of it came flooding back: "It's not okay for a partner to try to isolate you, it's not okay for him to get unreasonably jealous or to blame you for others paying attention to you when you're in public together. It's not okay for a partner to assume you're cheating if you talk to or look at someone other than him." These were all ideas we tried to instill in the survivors, things their abusers had usually made them forget. I knew this, and yet here I was acting jealous and possessive before we even left the hotel room. Was I setting off Jasper's survivor alarm bells? If so, I wish he had been more firm with me, but at least he addressed it, instead of just letting me go on unchecked.

"You're right, Jas. Others can flirt and maybe get a thrill of having us flirt back. That may be a little hot, even," I told him, nuzzling at his neck. "In the end, the only thing that matters is that we're together."

"Right?" he sounded like he was testing me, like he didn't quite believe I'd meant what I said.

"Damn right," I reiterated. "Just let me know if you ever need reinforcements to discourage anyone and I'll do the same, deal?"

"Deal."

I felt his tension ease and could almost hear his sigh of relief. I kissed my way up his neck and chin, taking my time to finally return to his lips in a soft, loving kiss, which he willingly returned until he pulled back.

"Edward, if we actually want to make it out to that pool, I think we'd better postpone any more of this," he said with a chuckle. "As it is it will be a while before I properly fit into this swim suit."

I glanced down between us, to where our hips had continued to rock against each other as we kissed. I didn't to see need my bulging pouch to know I was half-hard, and the way his cock was snaking up towards his hip, pulling the waistband of his briefs away from his body and trying to peek out the top told me that he was as well. Drool pooled in my mouth and I nearly dropped to my knees, but he tightened his arms around me and kept me standing.

"There'll be time for that later," he pointed out. "Right now we should take advantage of the great weather. I'm looking forward to swimming with you. It's been years."

I nodded, knowing he was right. I was looking forward to swimming with him as well. Jealous tendencies aside, I wanted for people to see us together. I was so proud to be with him, to be his boyfriend, and I wanted him and everyone else to know it. I loved being alone with him, of course, and I did really want to suck him off in that moment, but bringing our relationship out in public was really good too, and waiting a few hours to taste him wasn't going to kill me.

We put on our robes, flip-flops, and sunglasses. I grabbed the sunscreen and pocketed the room key after closing the door behind us. We made our way to the pool which, as if in reproach for my premature jealousy, was nearly deserted. A few people, mostly women, were laying out on the poolside loungers, reading or listening to music and hardly noticing our arrival. Jasper and I grabbed towels from the poolside attendant and claimed a couple of loungers away from the others. I wanted to slather him in sunscreen myself, but since we were out in public, I merely watched him cover his arms, legs, chest, neck and face, content with helping him cover his back and letting him do the same for me. We lay out for a few minutes, soaking up the sun and letting our re-awakened erections subside. The only thing that could have made that more perfect would have been a double lounger or hammock for us to lie in side by side.

"This feels so good," he murmured. "Just laying out and relaxing in the sun. I don't remember the last time I did this either."

"You need to do it more often. Sun exposure is good for you," I commented.

"You seem to get plenty," he teased. "I finally understand the double tan line."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?" I didn't spend enough time looking at myself naked in the mirror to know I even had a double tan line.

He laughed, delighted at my apparent ignorance. "It's subtle, but there are definitely stages to your tan. I figured one of the lines was the result of your uniform, but I wondered what was responsible for the second. And now I get to see them in person. I do love those trunks on you, Edward. So perfect for a park ranger and so hot!"

"Oh, no, Whitlock. These are not anywhere near hot. Those briefs you're wearing, on the other hand..."

"Are going to become too brief again if we keep talking like this. Let's go in the water."

We got up off the loungers and jumped into the deep end of the pool. The cool water had the desired effect, making us both laugh.

"Should we do a few laps?" I asked, hoping to warm up.

"Sure," Jasper replied eagerly, and we set of together. When we first met, we loved swimming together, but as we got older we did so less and less. I always thought it was because I was a much faster and stronger swimmer, but now I realized it was probably because Jasper wanted to avoid situations when we were together wearing only swim trunks. I was glad that we no longer had to worry about that, even if at times our reactions would be exactly the same as they would have been back then.

We swam a few lengths and then stopped and relaxed in the deep end of the pool, resting our folded arms on the edge of the pool and looking out at the mountain vista before us.

"I can't get over how beautiful it is here. So close to where we grew up, yet I never knew this place existed," he commented. "Thanks for organizing all this, Edward. Staying in Seattle with you would have been great too, I'm sure, but this is amazing. And I love that it's just the two of us, that we don't have to see anyone else. Not that I don't want to see them..."

"I understand, Jas," I interrupted. "I feel the same way. Well, I kind of feel bad about taking you away from everyone else, but I wanted time alone with you. So we could relax, just like this." I floated up behind him and pressed myself into his back, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"Not that I'm complaining," he said lightly, turning his face towards mine, "but if you stay there like that, we won't be relaxed for long."

"Hmm," I speculated, grinding into his ass. "That might be a price worth paying."

"Oh sure, easy for you to say," he laughed. "You're not gonna bust out of your trunks as a result."

It was difficult to move back from him, but I didn't want him to be embarrassed, and if he was going to be popping out of that suit I wanted him somewhere more private, where I was better able to take advantage of the opportunity. He turned himself in the water to face me, put his arms around my neck and wrapped his legs around my waist while I held onto the edge of the pool on either side of him, keeping us both afloat. It was a pretty intimate position, as anyone looking at us would quickly recognize, but I really didn't care if anyone around the pool was scandalized.

"But you're right, it's a price worth paying," he continued before pulling in closer to kiss me. It was a soft and quick kiss, both of us aware of our very public surroundings, but I relished it nevertheless. And then I decided to get frisky.

Without any warning, I simultaneously pushed us off the edge towards the middle of the pool, and twisted my body so that I could use my weight to dunk us both under water. Initial surprise made Jasper tighten his legs and arms around me, but as soon as he saw my playful expression he let go and moved his feet to the bottom of the pool so he could emerge to take a breath. We both came out slightly sputtering, water cascading down our thoroughly drenched hair and faces, his long bangs falling over and obscuring his face until he pushed them back with a sweep of his hand. That alone was enough to make me fill out my swim trunk pouch. The mischievous and slightly threatening glint in his eye didn't help. His expression said it all as he reached for my shoulders and launched himself at me, pushing me below the surface. From there it was just a continuous tangle of limbs and bodies as we play wrestled with each other like little kids, lost in our own world and paying absolutely no attention to anyone in the vicinity of the pool. We only stopped when we were both thoroughly exhausted and breathing hard from the physical exertion.

"Time to lay out and rest a little before we go back inside?" I asked, both of us moving to the ladder at the edge of the pool near our lounge chairs.

"Sounds good," he said, looking back at me over his shoulder as he climbed out of the pool, giving me the perfect view of his barely covered butt. He waited as I followed up the ladder and we walked to the loungers together. We dried ourselves, then spread out the towels on the loungers, which we pushed together as close as they would go.

"I could probably use more sunscreen on my back," he said with a conspiratorial smile as he lay down on his stomach. "I wouldn't want a painful sunburn right before Emmett's wedding."

"No, we definitely wouldn't want that," I agreed, reaching for the sunscreen which I eagerly re-applied over his back, arms and legs, no longer caring if anyone inferred things from my intimate actions.

"That feels good, Edward," he murmured as my hands slid over his slick skin, rubbing in the lotion. "Did you ever consider a career as a masseur?"

I giggled, happy he enjoyed my ministrations. "It wouldn't be much of a career, since I'd only want to do this for one client."

"Hmm," Jasper hummed. "I think the client could be talked into hiring you for his exclusive benefit."

"Well, then, I'd definitely consider it, very seriously."

I finished applying the lotion and lay down on my own lounger.

"I should put some more sunscreen on you," Jasper said.

"It's OK. I'm more used to the sun than you are. What I put on before should be enough for me."

We stopped talking and just lay side by side on our stomachs, absorbing the sun's warmth. Our heads were turned towards each other and our eyes locked together, both of our lips curled up into smiles that were subtle, but full of love and happiness. We weren't exactly holding hands, but my left and his right hand were extended enough from our bodies for our pinkies to touch one another, and eventually link together. For no good reason except wanting to keep our professions private and intimate, we each mouthed "I love you" at each other, and smiled wider. We laid out long enough for our backsides to dry, then donned our robes and flip flops again for the walk back to our room where we needed to get ready for dinner.

I was nervous about the dinner, which would double as a birthday celebration for Jasper. The restaurant in the hotel was very good, so I wasn't worried about the meal itself, but while the food and ambiance were taken care of, I was concerned about the gifts I selected. It was easy to find the perfect present for Maggie's 25th - she had inadvertently mentioned many times what her ultimate heart's desire would be, so it was only a matter of time and money to find the right instrument and have it brought over in time for her celebration. With Jasper, it was different. He and I had been out of touch for over six years, and while I had a general idea of his interests gleaned from our hours on the phone, I had no clue exactly what he wanted. And I had no one to ask. Seth, who would normally have been my go to person for ferreting out this sort of information, wasn't in a much better position than I was to actually get it. Not to mention that I didn't want to subject Jasper to that sort of interrogation.

After many hours of contemplating and agonizing over it, I finally made a decision to give him not one, but three gifts, symbolizing the past, present and future. The past was easy: I was finally going to give him the sketch that I liberated from James. The last two times I'd tried to return the sketch were a disaster, but he hadn't known what I was trying to give him. I wasn't going to make the same mistake again, and planned to sneak back into the room and set the sketch out so that he would see it when we returned from dinner. It was a gamble, giving the gifts out of chronological order, and I was apprehensive about bringing the specter of James into the room where I hoped to continue Jasper's birthday celebration in bed, but I figured this was better than potentially spoiling the entire night for him at the outset. And I was also hoping the dinner would put him in a good enough mood to leave most if not all of his thoughts of James in the past, where they belonged.

The gift representing the present was simple and non-controversial. It was a silver bar tie clip with Jasper's initials engraved on the front, and a hidden message of "love ties us together" engraved on the back of the clip, which would be unseen to anyone but him. I hoped he liked it enough to wear to Emmett's wedding with the tie we'd picked out for him in Chicago.

It took quite a bit of research and creative thinking to pick out a gift for the future. Unable to think of a tangible object that would represent everything I felt for him, I decided to consider other options. Fortunately, he reminded me how much he'd enjoyed his European travels with his father, and how he'd always wanted to return to Brussels, which gave me a spark of an idea. When I discovered that Brussels hosted an annual international film festival, the spark became a flame. It was too early to purchase tickets for the following year's festival, but I booked and paid for a hotel room near the festival venue and purchased two first class airfare vouchers, not wanting to lock him into specific dates until he could clear his vacation schedule. I knew I was being presumptuous, but if he didn't want to go to the festival, he could always book the trip at another time and simply change the hotel reservation dates. And while I hoped he would invite me to attend the festival with him, the vouchers gave him the ultimate flexibility with respect to that as well.

"What are you wearing tonight, Edward?" Jasper asked, thankfully oblivious to all my concerns. "The restaurant downstairs looks a little too formal for shorts and tee shirts."

He had opened the box he'd shipped to my home and was looking through it for suitable clothing. "I have the shirt I bought in Chicago, but I was saving that for the Friday night dinner with everyone," he said, pulling out the black and white shirt we both loved on him. I stared as he held the shirt in front of his chest, wearing nothing but his tiny swim suit, and cursed the fact that we had to get dressed at all, when all I wanted was to rip what little he was wearing off him and spend the rest of the day and night with him in bed, naked.

"Earth to Edward? You're drooling," he teased, walking up to me and pretending to wipe drool from the corner of my lips.

"Well," my voice came out a bit hoarse and I coughed to clear my dry throat. "What do you expect, when I'm famished and you're standing there, looking good enough to eat."

"Famished, huh?" his voice grew husky as he leaned in and began nibbling on my ear. "Might we have time for a little appetizer before we go to the restaurant?"

I threw a quick glance at the bedside clock, desperately hoping it was earlier than I thought, but the clock did not cooperate.

"I'm sorry, Love. I made early reservations thinking we'd want more time this evening.." I explained feebly. "I could call and change the time," I offered.

He sighed, but stepped back. "No, your first instinct was right. It's better to have more time after dinner than before. So back to my question. What are you wearing?"

"I brought my Chicago shirt too, but I like your idea of wearing that to the dinner at Seth & Garrett's Friday night. I was thinking about this," I said, walking over to my bag and pulling out a shirt that I'd purchased with Jasper in mind. It was a black and gray, large but subtle paisley print, with narrow, light gray, widely spaced stripes. The stripes ran vertically in the front and back and on the sleeves, horizontally along the shoulders, and diagonally on the sides, making it that much more visually interesting. I was pleased to see that Jasper was impressed when I held it up for him to examine.

"Fuck, Edward, I never thought I'd actually want you to put clothes on, but that's a great shirt. I bet you look so hot wearing it!" he enthused.

"It's all right," I said modestly, heat rising up my neck and face.

"I'm gonna have a hard time not ripping it off you in the dining room," he threatened.

"I'm sure the same will be the case for me. What are you wearing?"

He padded back to his box and laid the black and white shirt aside as he rummaged inside for an alternative. "Oh, looks like I brought just the thing," he exclaimed, retrieving a dark shirt. He shook it open, revealing a cotton stretch navy shirt with scrolled details screen printed across the shoulders and in the back. It was a modern interpretation of a traditional cowboy shirt, and it was absolutely perfect, not just for this place, but for Jasper. "Do you like it?"

I nodded, struck speechless at the thought of him in it, and even more so at the thought of me peeling it off him later. "We should ask for extra napkins at dinner. I'll need it for all the drool."

He laughed, throwing his head back, giving me a perfect view of the beautifully arched and elongated neck. I grabbed the door frame of the closet to stop myself from running over to sink my teeth into the inviting flesh.

"We'd better shower," I said, my trunks tight around my hardening cock. "Let's bring our clothes in with us so the steam can relax the wrinkles."

We hung our shirts and pants using the hooks on the back of the bathroom door and turned the water to the hottest temperature to build up steam, which gave us a little time to play. Jasper didn't protest when I pushed him back against the wall, holding onto his wrists with my hands as I began kissing him, first on the mouth and then progressively lower, down his chin, neck and chest. Still holding his wrists, I slid to my knees and tugged at the drawstring of his swimsuit with my teeth. He was fully hard, his length forced by the tightly tied drawstring to grow to the side, nearly up to his hip. He sighed with relief when the knot gave way. His cock sprang up eagerly as I grabbed the waistband of his swimsuit with my teeth and forcefully tugged downward.

"Edward," he complained when he found his efforts to free his hands useless. I looked up to make sure he wasn't in any real distress, but maintained my firm, if not tight hold when I saw that he was only frustrated. I grinned up at him right before licking him from root to tip. "I thought you said we didn't have time for this. If that has suddenly changed, then it's my turn to taste you," he protested.

"We don't have time for this," I confirmed regretfully. "Not to finish this, anyway. But you didn't really expect me to be able to resist completely, did you?" I stared at the deep red head of his dick, completely exposed and inviting, a bead of precum forming at the slit, and I knew I couldn't just let it go there. I slowly ran the tip of my tongue along his slit before wrapping my lips around just the head, conforming them to the circumference of the ridge. I began to move, but only a little, taking in maybe a half inch more of his shaft and retreating, ensuring that the sensitive edges received maximum stimulation. At the same time I began to tongue his frenulum, flitting the tip back and forth against this magic bit of skin in a way I knew would send waves of pleasure all through his system.

"Edward," this time he groaned out my name, alerting me to my success. I smiled and stopped the tongue torture, sucking in more of his shaft instead. His cock felt amazing in my mouth. Everything about him: the size, shape, the veined texture, the heat, the smell and taste, uniquely his even when tainted with the chemicals from the pool, was exactly right. I could suck him for days, weeks, months, and I would never get enough.

"Slow down, Tiger, please, I'm so close!" Jasper exclaimed and I could tell, both by the urgency in his voice and the unmistakable physical signs, that he meant it. I was so tempted to keep going, desperately wanting my mouth and throat flooded with his essence, but I knew his orgasm would be better, even more intense, if I held off and waited until after dinner. With the greatest reluctance I pulled my lips off him, a soft pop accompanying his cock's regained freedom. Jasper relaxed against the wall and gave up his attempts to free his wrists even as he breathed heavily through his nose in an effort to calm down. I looked up to see his chest heaving and nostrils flaring, his eyes closed in concentration. I too was breathing heavily and my own hard cock throbbed in the confines of my trunks, but I resisted the urge to reach down to touch myself, preferring to focus on him instead.

When I saw his breathing slow, I released his wrists and moved my hands to his hips. This got his attention and he opened his eyes to look down at me. I noted, pleased, that they were still glazed and not entirely focused.

"You have no idea how difficult it was for me to stop," I confided.

"You have no idea how difficult it was to ask you to stop," Jasper confessed. "You are so damn good at that," he moved his now free right hand to my cheek, stroking it for a moment and moving his thumb to trace over my lips.

"I'm glad you stopped me," I admitted, continuing to look up at him as I pulled his swimsuit all the way down his legs so he could step out of it. "It'll be even better later. I'll take my time, get you even more worked up."

He groaned slightly, but smiled. "I'm not even sure that's possible. How blue are my balls right now?"

I turned down my gaze to examine his testicles. Because I really couldn't help myself, I not only looked, but sniffed as well. Then I hefted them carefully in my hand. They were dark and swollen, but I saw nothing indicating any physical danger.

"In my expert opinion, you'll be fine until after dinner," I quipped, looking back up at him mischievously before sneaking in a lick along his still furrowed scrotum. His breath caught, and then he gave me a mock frown.

"Not if you keep doing shit like that, I won't be," he complained. I laughed, and gripped his hips again, this time for leverage to help me stand up again. I leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

"You're right. I promise I'll be better from now on."

The water had long before turned hot and steam was rapidly filling up the bathroom. Suddenly I realized the selfishness of my actions, all that water completely wasted. But then this was Jasper, and while I loved the environment, I loved Jasper more. I figured my years of conservation efforts entitled me to a little waste during this reunion. Still, now that I was aware of it, I felt the urge to at least get under the spray, so that the water served a purpose beyond steaming out clothes wrinkles.

"Let's get washed up," I suggested, reaching for the drawstring of my trunks. Jasper batted my hands away wordlessly, pulling the string to undo the tie. He moved his hands around to my back and then slipped them inside my trunks to take hold of my bare butt cheeks.

"These trunks look really good on you, Edward," he complimented, "But it's always a shame to cover up an ass as gorgeous as yours, so I'm glad they're coming off now."

He hooked his thumbs on the waistband in the back and pushed the trunks down until they were pooled at my feet. He gave my butt one last squeeze before stepping back and surveying my front. I was still mostly hard, and the way he was looking at my cock, with unabashed hunger in his eyes, did nothing to alleviate that state.

"Come on," I said and took his hand, stepping out of the trunks and pulling him towards the shower. "If we don't hurry up we'll be late for our reservation."

"I'm sure they'd hold the table," he grumbled, but followed me into the oversized stall anyway.

Although we'd only done it a few times, showering with Jasper was quickly becoming one of my favorite things in the world. It wasn't even, as one might expect, having him there naked and accessible, although admittedly that didn't hurt. What I loved most about showering with him was washing him, his hair and his body, and having him do the same to me. Showering with Cliff had been similar, and I had really enjoyed it, but somehow this felt even more special, even more right. For Jasper and me this was a whole different level of care, intimacy and, when we had more time, relaxation. It felt great having him massaging my scalp as he washed my hair and doing the same for my muscles as he washed the rest of me, and I only hoped Jasper's experience when I was washing him was the same. Judging by the appreciative noises he made, it was, and that filled me with pride and contentment. It was amazing that such a simple thing could hold so much more meaning than a description of the task could ever convey.

Of course, when we were in a hurry, showering together was sometimes counterproductive, as it had a way of slowing us down. And Jasper pressing me up against the tiled shower wall while he thoroughly explored my ass with his tongue did absolutely nothing to help me maintain my resolve not to fool around before dinner. In the end, only pleading for him to stop or get me off made him relent. He even had the audacity to giggle as I palmed my painfully aching cock and balls.

"Two can play that game, mister." He joked as he toweled off. "Now we'll both have blue balls during dinner."

We styled our hair and dressed quickly. Jasper paired his navy shirt with a pair of cotton pants in espresso brown so dark they looked almost black and a pair of brown slip on dress shoes with intricately seamed leather designs. I opted for black cotton chinos and simple, classic black leather shoes. As always, I wished I had more fashion sense, but the shirt was a step forward for me and, in any event, the way Jasper looked at me made me feel like a runway model.

Dressed and ready for the evening, we left the room and walked to the main lodge building. The sun had already ducked behind the surrounding mountains and the valley was drowned in a soft pink and orange light of sunset. Since our shower activities caused us to run a little late, we didn't linger, but walked directly to the entrance of the dining room. I gave the smiling hostess our name and she led us to our reserved table. I had requested a mountain view, which meant we had to walk through the entire dining room past the other patrons, including a table occupied by the three young ladies we met at the cowboy breakfast.

"Edward, Jasper!" Bea squealed in delight. She had changed from the jeans and denim jacket she'd worn earlier into a floral print sun dress with spaghetti straps. The effect was oddly disquieting, since she simultaneously looked more feminine and fiercer.

"Hello, ladies," Jasper said as we stopped at their table to exchange greetings. "Did you have a fun day?"

"Oh, yeah. We hung out in town most of the day, and just came back a short while ago. Now we're having dinner and then we're all booked for facials and massages to relax us before bed," Dee explained.

"Unless you two want to volunteer to help us find a different way to relax," Bea chimed in and winked at Jasper suggestively. Since by now they all knew that Jasper and I were together, we all just laughed at the joke.

"Sorry, Bea," I quipped. "We didn't think to book massages, so Jasper and I have to find other ways to help each other relax."

The girls giggled, and one of them may have mumbled something about wanting to watch, but Jasper and I both chose to ignore that side comment. Bea turned to say something to Jodie, treating Jasper and me to a view of a lion's head tattoo on her shoulder blade. Jasper smirked in my direction, and I could almost read his mind. This was now mere girl, but a was a force to be reckoned with.

We made small talk for a few more minutes while the hostess waited for us patiently, then finally excused ourselves and made our way to the table for two in front of a large, multi-paned window overlooking the valley and the surrounding mountains.

"I just can't get enough of this view," Jasper said as a server filled our glasses with lemon ice water. "I know I keep repeating myself, but thank you for taking care of all these arrangements and making it all so special! I'm having such a wonderful time."

"I'm so glad. Thank you for agreeing to come out here with me. I know you did it for me, and I'm thrilled you've enjoyed it as much as you have. As for me, obviously I love all this," my gaze swept over the outside surroundings, "but I don't really care where we are, as long as I'm with you."

"That's true for me too, Edward," he admitted. He looked like he was going to say more, but was interrupted by the arrival of our waitress.

"Mr. Cullen and Mr. Whitlock?" She asked inquisitively while handing us the menus. I was surprised, until I remembered that I had arranged for the birthday cake as a surprise, and figured this was her way of finding out who the birthday celebrant was without spoiling the surprise.

"I'm Edward Cullen and this is Jasper Whitlock," I quickly said, seeing Jasper's eyebrows rise at the question as well.

"Very good, my name is Karen and I'll be taking care of you tonight together with my assistant, Alfred," she pointed to the man who had filled our water glasses earlier and now stood by with yet another set of leather-bound volumes. "Chef Bradshaw prepared our menu using the finest and freshest ingredients from the Northwest, and we have an extensive wine list to complement your dinner. We also have a list of specials for tonight," she said as Alfred produced two sheets that were hand-written in beautiful script on heavy ivory card stock pre-printed at the top with the Sun Mountain Lodge Dining Room logo. "Would you like to start with something from the bar, or would you prefer to look over the wine list first?"

I glanced at Jasper who gave me a slight head shake. "We'll take a look at the menu and wine list, please, Karen," I indicated, and Alfred immediately handed the wine list he held to me.

"I'll give you time to look those over and I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order," Karen said with a smile before she and Alfred retreated, leaving us to make our selections.

"This is an impressive menu," Jasper commented as he looked over the dinner options.

"With an equally impressive wine selection," I replied, looking over the pages and pages of wines from just about every part of the world. I was pleased to see a significant portion of the cellar was devoted to Washington wines, which I often found didn't get the recognition they deserved outside of our state. I found a few choices I wanted to recommend to Jasper before setting the list aside to look at the menu.

"Anything catch your eye yet?" I asked Jasper as I reviewed the selections.

"Everything looks good. It's difficult to choose. I may have to try the roast breast of pheasant, only because I've never had it before, but the rack of lamb sounds good as well, as does the salmon."

"I was thinking of getting the elk chop, in Emmett's honor," I said and Jasper laughed appreciatively. "If you get the pheasant we can share," I suggested.

"Deal," he agreed easily.

"What about a starter and a salad?"

"The wild mushroom strudel to start, I think, with the Sun Mountain salad."

"Those both sound good. I think I'll have the razor clams with the mixed organic lettuces."

"Those are good choices as well," he approved.

"What about the wines?" I asked. "Shall we get a Chardonnay and maybe a Merlot? Something from the region?" A Cabernet would have gone better with my elk, but it would overpower the pheasant, so a Merlot was a better alternative.

"Sure," he agreed easily. "You choose, please. I'm not picky nor am I particularly knowledgeable when it comes to wine. Most of the time I tend to stick with beer and liquor."

"Indeed," I laughed. "I recall you're something of an absinthe connoisseur."

He giggled, "I can't even imagine how Garrett and Nasir felt after that night. I felt like such a horrible host, letting them get into that state."

"Well, I know they didn't enjoy the aftermath, but they had a great time out with you. Nasir mentioned something about pretending you were their hired escort?"

Jasper giggled harder and explained how a comment he'd made about going home to change for the night had been misinterpreted by a couple of the hotel guests. "Though, to be fair, if I was an escort, I could have done a lot worse than those two. Seth and Emmett sure found themselves a couple of lookers. Then again, I am very glad about that. It's lucky for me neither one of them pursued you," he added, suddenly looking more reserved, as if he'd said too much.

"It took a long time and extreme circumstances for us to even become friends. None of us ever wanted to go beyond that," I replied seriously, thinking back to Jasper's revelation from the day before that he and Emmett had dated. I was so glad that Seth and Emmett and I had never gone down that road, imagining how much more that would complicate things now. The men they chose for themselves were so different from me, and Jasper was so different from the two of them. Somehow everything had turned out just right.

"Well, it all worked out just right," Jasper said, echoing my thoughts so precisely I looked up at him, startled. "Six years is a long time, Edward," he continued, reaching for my hand. "I know you haven't been alone waiting for me all that time, and I haven't been either, but that's okay. It took a while, but we probably needed all that time to grow up and get to a place in our lives where we were ready for this. In truth, I didn't even think I was ready. I didn't realize I was until we met again and talked, and then spent still more time together in Chicago. But now we're finally back where we belong. So it worked out just right," he reiterated and squeezed my hand for emphasis.

I couldn't help smiling as I looked down at our joined hands. His mention of the other people we'd been with briefly made my heart ache, but as I listened further I had to acknowledge that we did both need to grow up. And maybe we needed the other people to compare ourselves against, so we would know for certain that even if some other men came close, there was no one else out there who matched us as perfectly as we did each other. With that lesson learned and behind us, we could now look forward and plan our future together, without worrying about temptations and insecurities.

"Gentlemen, have you made your selections?" Karen returned to the table. I saw her take note of our joined hands and her smile widened a little, as if she took credit for our small bit of intimacy.

"We have. Jasper, would you like to start?"

"Sure. I'll have the mushroom strudel, the Sun Mountain salad and the roasted breast of pheasant," he recited smoothly, without having to check the menu.

"Excellent choices. And you. Mr. Cullen?"

"I'll start with the razor clams, then have the mixed organic lettuce salad and the elk chop, medium."

"Very good. I know you'll enjoy all those. And to drink?"

"The Boudreaux Cellars Merlot, please and the Lake Chelan Winery Chardonnay."

"Perfect," Karen said approvingly. "I will be right back with those for you."

"She's certainly efficient," Jasper commented after Karen left. "Didn't take a single note, yet somehow I'm certain everything will arrive precisely as we ordered it."

"The level of service is impressive," I agreed, "and the food is reputed to be as well. I'm really looking forward to the meal."

We were momentarily distracted by the arrival of food at the girls' table, their excited and impressed voices carrying through the restaurant to our table.

"That's a good sign," Jasper commented. "I'm glad we met those three this morning. Though I'm also glad you're here with me. Bea keeps looking at me like I'm an item on the menu. And after seeing that tattoo, I'm fairly certain she's a girl who usually gets what she wants."

"I'm not at all surprised she zeroed in on you," I observed. "Too bad for her you just don't bat for that team. And very fortunate for me," I said with a smile, which he returned.

"Speaking of fortunate couples, it's hard to believe we're only a few days away from Emmett's wedding," he brought the focus back to our conversation. "I'm so curious to see what Seth has planned for Friday. Why in the world would we need bathing suits?"

"Well, it's not to use the hot tub in my back yard, I can tell you that," I shot back, then explained when Jasper gave me a puzzled look. "Seth has apparently decided that no bathing suits should ever be worn in hot tubs if he's around. At least that's the rule at the condo in Telluride that Garrett and Nasir bought for him and Emmett. And he seems to have extended the rule to my tub as well, at least when I wasn't around. Thankfully he managed to bite his tongue and stay out of the tub last weekend, when I had a bunch of neighbors and co-workers over for the party."

Jasper chuckled. "I heard about the Telluride tub from Nasir. He said no one was exempt, not even the women. He mentioned how intimidated he was when Seth's sister joined them."

"Oh, yeah," I nodded, smiling at the memory. "Leah loves to tease him as much as Seth does. Or at least she did. I wonder if that will change now that she and Roberto are getting serious."

"Roberto is the detective you told me about? I don't think I met him at Seth's wedding."

"He is, and he was working so he couldn't make it to the ceremony. I'm pretty sure he showed up later, but by then neither of us was paying any attention to the other guests." I paused for a moment, remembering the initial awkwardness of that night, but also the relief I felt when he finally agreed to listen, and then to see me the following day. I smiled and felt him squeeze my hand again. "You'll have a chance to meet him this weekend," I resumed. "He and Leah will be there for the wedding and the dish breaking dinner on Friday as well."

Karen came back with an extra set of wine glasses and the Merlot, while Alfred followed with the Chardonnay in a cooler that he placed beside our table. He retreated as Karen went through the uncorking and tasting ceremony. By the time I approved of both wines and Karen poured the Chardonnay, leaving the Merlot to breathe, Alfred was back with two small ornamentally decorated plates that featured a bite sized appetizer each.

"Tonight's amuse bouche is a lobster paella cake on cornbread with a jalapeno mustard sauce, compliments of the Chef," Karen explained. "Enjoy!"

She and Alfred departed and Jasper and I glanced down at the unexpected treats placed before us.

"A toast first?" I asked, reaching for the Chardonnay. Jasper nodded his ascent and picked up his glass as well. "To us," I said simply.

"To new beginnings," Jasper contributed and we both took a healthy sip of wine. "Oh, this is very good. I like it," he complimented.

"It is good," I agreed. "The climate in Columbia Valley is ideal for grapes, maybe even better than Napa, though California wines seem to get all the spotlight and attention."

"I'm not a huge fan of California wines," Jasper wrinkled his nose. "I don't drink wine often, but I found wines from Chile and Australia more agreeable to those from France or California."

"I enjoy Chilean wines as well. I find Australian wines a little uneven. Should we try the lobster cakes?"

"Sure. These were a nice surprise," Jasper said, popping the appetizer into his mouth. "Delicious!" he summarized. "What did Karen say the sauce was?"

"Mustard jalapeno, I think," I replied, taking a sip of wine to cut down on the jalapeno heat. "It has a bit of a bite, doesn't it," I commented, watching Jasper take a drink as well.

"Just the right amount," he agreed. "And look, here come our appetizers."

Our entourage of servers arrived, starting with the bus boy who cleared away the small plates. Karen took the food from the tray carried by Alfred and placed them in front of us, reciting the ingredients and preparation techniques used as she did so. When she was done she plucked up the chardonnay bottle and refilled our glasses to the appropriate level. Then she and her assistant disappeared again, leaving us to our conversation. Dinner continued in this manner, with scraps of conversation interspersed with eating and drinking. As the salad plates were cleared away and we were each served with a complimentary bowl of palate cleansing sorbet, I began to realize that I had to find my way back to the room to ready the birthday surprise. I made a show of patting my breast pocket and 'realized' that I forgot my phone in the room.

"I feel so weird without it," I explained. "Would you mind if I went back to get it?"

Jasper gave me a slightly puzzled look, but didn't question it. "Not at all. Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, no need for both of us to go to the trouble. Stay and enjoy the view. That way at least one of us will be here should the food arrive. I'll be right back."

I stood and quickly made my way out of the restaurant, pausing briefly to confirm with the hostess that the surprise birthday cake was ready. Once I was sure I was out of Jasper's line of sight, I ran for our room, knowing I'd only have a little time before my absence became suspicious. In the room, I was pleased that the hotel staff had already put up the birthday decorations and delivered the Dom Pérignon I ordered as well as the Dark Chocolate fondue buffet, complete with an electric fondue pot that kept the chocolate at an ideal temperature. I was tempted to taste the molten dessert, but I was afraid if Jasper and I kissed he might taste it on me and ask about it, forcing me to have to lie or spoil the surprise, neither of which was an option. Besides, there was no time. I quickly took out the box I had brought with me, ripping the tape that kept it sealed and reaching inside to retrieve the sketch. I had looked around the room earlier and determined the perfect way to present it to him would be to simply display it, and the perfect spot for that was the mantle above the fireplace. I positioned the sketch and took a long look. It was Jasper as I had remembered him from when we first kissed in the spring of our Senior year. He'd been so gorgeous and unguarded then, and the sketch captured that perfectly. I was so glad I had been able to retrieve it from that fucking sadist, James. I just hoped Jasper could still see the sketch for the memento that it was, and not a reminder of the man who'd tried to steal it.

I would have loved to stand there gazing at the sketch far longer, but time was of the essence. Besides, this was a mere facsimile of the beautiful man who waited for me in the restaurant. I put the box away again and reached into my bag to retrieve the envelope with the plane ticket vouchers as well as the box with the tie bar, placing both in my pants pocket. At the last minute I remembered to grab my phone and slipped that into the pocket of my shirt, before quickly heading back to the restaurant. I was alarmed when, before I even reached the dining room entrance, I heard notes of the birthday song drift out into the lobby. Had the restaurant messed up and delivered the cake too early, when I wasn't even there? I quickened my pace, anger and panic welling up inside me when the hostess wasn't at her post for me to ask questions. I relaxed almost immediately, however, when I went in and saw that the staff, including the hostess, as well as Jasper, were singing the song to none other than Bea. Jasper had been looking for me, and waved me over as soon as he spotted me. I smiled and joined them for the last notes of the song.

"Oh, hi Edward! You're back," Bea said when she looked up from blowing out the candle on a beautifully decorated small birthday cake.

"Happy Birthday, Bea. You didn't mention this morning that it was your birthday," I chastised.

"That's because it isn't," she said, laughing. "My birthday is actually in March, but we couldn't get together then. I had no idea these two had planned this," she pointed to her two friends as she spoke.

"Ah, the co-conspirators," I nodded, winking at the girls and making them blush.

"Hey," Dee said, looking at the camera with which she just snapped a picture of Bea blowing out the candles on her cake as though she just realized it was there. "How about I get a picture of you two with the birthday girl?"

"Yeah," Bea was excited. "I want the middle of that sandwich!"

Jasper and I both laughed, but obediently stepped to either side of her chair. Jasper looked winked in my direction, and without having to say anything I knew what he wanted to do.

"Are you ready?" I asked Dee, who demonstrated her readiness by raising the camera slightly, but not taking her eyes off the view screen. Jasper and I exchanged one last look, then bent down and pressed our lips to each of Bea's cheeks. I was smiling when I saw the flash go off from the corner of my eye.

"Oh my Gosh," Dee exclaimed. "That's perfect! Bea, you should see the shock on your face!" she reached out so that the three of us could look at the view screen at the image she just captured. Sure enough, Bea looked surprised, but she also had a wide grin on her face.

"One more, and look at the screen this time so I can make everyone back home jealous," she requested. "They don't have to know that you two are together."

Jasper and I posed for one more picture, then excused ourselves and went back to the table. As if on cue, Karen and Alfred materialized with our dinner entrees. Karen poured the Merlot and re-filled the Chardonnay glasses, then disappeared again.

"This looks delicious," Jasper commented as he cut a piece of the pheasant breast. "Mm, tastes delicious too," he noted after trying it.

"The elk is very good as well," I shared. I loaded my fork with a sampler of the food on my plate and reached over to him. "Here, try for yourself." He opened his mouth and allowed me to feed him. I watched his lips close around the food and pulled the fork back, feeling the temperature suddenly rising around us.

"That is good," Jasper murmured his concurrence after chewing and swallowing the food, then washing it down with a swallow of the Merlot. "The wine too. Your turn." He mimicked my actions from before and threaded samples of his food onto the tines of his fork before reaching out to feed me. I sampled the pheasant, and noted it tasted good, but I was far too focused on the fact that once again we were sharing food and feeding each other to properly evaluate the cuisine.

"Do you like it?" Jasper prompted.

"Yeah, I really do," I replied. He didn't need to know that I was only tangentially referring to the food.

We continued talking, drinking and eating, sharing our food as we said we would. Outside, dusk gave way to darkness and the mountains disappeared. Inside the restaurant, soft lighting and music added to the romantic mood. Jasper looked amazing, relaxed and clearly enjoying himself. More than once I caught other patrons staring in our direction, the women examining him discretely with admiration. It could have been my imagination, but I thought I saw some men do the same.

I did not want to rush dinner in any way, but I was close to trembling with the anticipation of the birthday surprise and his reaction to my gifts, especially the trip and the sketch: our past and our future. I supposed it was a small achievement that I was no longer particularly concerned about our present. After Chicago, all the phone calls, and spending the last three whole days together, I knew our love for each other was mutual. I didn't know if his was yet equal in degree to mine, but I had no doubt it was there, and that put me squarely on cloud nine.

By the end of the meal we were both slightly fidgety. I was awaiting the surprise, while he just seemed to have grown progressively more horny, at least judging by the increasingly suggestive tone of his conversation and the hungry look in his eye, which after the generous meal couldn't have had anything to do with his stomach. As much as we enjoyed the food, we were both relieved and nodded in confirmation when Karen appeared at the table to ask if we were done and ready to move on to dessert. Knowing about the imminent arrival of his cake and the fondue buffet back in the room, I declined dessert, ordering an espresso instead, feeling the caffeine would help me accomplish all I wanted to when we got back to the room. Jasper ordered his usual cappuccino and indulged his sweet tooth with a crème brûlée trio, which he insisted we would share. I didn't protest, not wanting to raise his suspicions.

Only a few minutes after we placed our order the wait was over, as a bevy of staff approached our table with a beautifully decorated cake, complete with several lit candles. Bea and her girls had left a while ago, so there was just me and the staff singing to Jasper, though several of the other patrons joined in from their tables, smiling. He was definitely surprised, but happy, his wide smile making him even more beautiful. He blew out the candles to cheers and applause, and then made the first cut into the cake I had ordered specifically to cater to his sweet tooth - a marbled cake with chocolate mousse filling, decorated with dark chocolate ganache. The staff dispersed at that point and Karen took over, cutting and serving slices for each of us. Alfred returned with the coffees and the crème brûlées, and then both of them retreated.

"Edward, you didn't have to do this. It's not even my birthday," Jasper protested half-heartedly, not really hiding his pleasure.

"I know, but I won't be with you next week, and I wanted to celebrate it with you, even if it had to be early. Happy Birthday, Jas," I reached over to grab his hand, then lifted from my chair and leaned over the table to give him a soft kiss. "Hope all your wishes come true."

"You know, I think they already started to," he said.

"Oh, I have something for you," I exclaimed, remembering the gifts in my pocket. I took the tie bar box out first and handed it to him with a sheepish smile. "This is just something small. A token."

"You didn't have to get me anything," he murmured, but took the box and unwrapped it carefully. He smiled when he took off the lid and saw the trinket engraved with his initials.

"It's very classy, Edward. Thank you!" he smiled at me warmly, obviously pleased with the gift.

"Turn it over," I prompted, wanting him to see his reaction to the secret engraving. He did, and I saw his breath catch a little and his face soften. "You'll be the only one who knows that's there," I pointed out.

"Oh, Edward, I don't know what to say. I love it! Love the sentiment, and the humor. It's perfect!"

"I was hoping you might wear it to the wedding," I suggested.

"Oh, I most definitely will," it was his turn to lift out of his seat and lean over the table to give me a small kiss. "Really, thank you!"

"There's more," I said, reaching into my pocket to retrieve the envelope with the travel vouchers. "I know this may be a little presumptuous, but I wasn't sure what to get and I remembered how much you loved traveling in Europe, so I got you these," I handed him the envelope which he took from me, clearly puzzled. He unsealed the flap and took out the paperwork inside, read it over, then looked up at me with questions in his eyes.

"You mentioned how you always wanted to go back to Brussels, and I remembered how much you love foreign movies, so when I found out there is an International Film Festival in Brussels next June that's open to the public, I thought it might be the perfect trip. The hotel is paid for, as are the vouchers - you can trade them in for tickets once you figure out the dates of travel. The festival tickets won't go on sale until next year, but I have a travel agent who is going to purchase them for you as soon as they are available." I watched his eyes widen with surprise and amazement as we spoke. I started to smile, then became uncertain again thinking of what I had to say next. "It's a trip for two, and I would love to go with you, but of course you can ask whoever you want."

He cocked his head to the side and arched an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right? Who the hell else would I ask? Of course I want you to go with me! It'll be your first time there, right?" I confirmed with a nod. "Oh, Edward, that'll be great. You'll love it. The food is fantastic and the beer is out of this world and in Brussels there is just so much history mixed in with the modern. We can go to Brugge, too. I've heard it's wonderful, but Dad and I didn't have time to go when we were there. I thought I might have a chance to go when I lived in London, but that didn't pan out..." his voice trailed off and for a moment his face clouded, but almost instantly he was grinning again. "I can't wait to share it all with you. I'm just sorry June is so damned far away."

"It'll give us something to look forward to," I told him with a smile.

"Definitely!" he agreed emphatically.

We didn't exactly rush, but we didn't dawdle over the cake and coffee, both eager to return to the room. Feeling guilty about the crème brûlées, Jas insisted on each of us eating a small spoonful of each flavor. I didn't protest, as it gave us another opportunity to feed each other, but I was also glad when Karen came by with the bill, which I charged to the hotel room to avoid having to wait for the credit card receipt. Finally done, we rose and walked back to the room. This time I took his hand and didn't care who stared or what they thought. It was too special of a night to worry about other people.

I hesitated a moment in front of the room door. I knew everything inside was perfect, just as I'd wanted it, but that part had been easy. The one thing I couldn't arrange, control or predict was Jasper's reaction, and the fear of upsetting him, perhaps enough to turn me away again, was almost paralyzing.

"Edward, are you okay?" he asked, obviously noticing my reluctance.

"I'm fine, but...there's something else. There's another gift for you inside. I hope you like it, but if you don't, I hope you'll let me explain."

He tilted his head to the side and frowned slightly, his expression quizzical. Then he consciously softened his features and stepped up to me, wrapping his arms around me as he spoke. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I'm going to love it, because I can see it came from your heart."

I nodded mutely, knowing I couldn't ask for more reassurance than that. Taking a deep breath, I pulled out the card key and inserted it into the lock, pushing open the door when the light turned green. Jasper walked in and I followed, breathlessly awaiting his reaction.

He didn't notice it at first, his attention diverted by the decorations and the fondue buffet. I could see the questions forming on his face and then disappearing, replaced with his trademark smile. I knew he must have thought I was joking, and that this was the real surprise.

"Wow, Edward, you really had me going there for a moment. I had no idea what to expect. This is fantastic, but so over the top. You really didn't have to..." he had been turning around the room as he was speaking, looking at all the decorations. Just then his eyes finally fell on the sketch, and silence fell over the room. "Oh!" he exclaimed and walked towards the fireplace, staring at the sketch in disbelief. "Is this...?" he reached out with his hand to touch the frame. "How did you...?" He looked back at me, shaking his head as though he didn't quite believe what he was seeing. "I don't understand," he said, pleading with his eyes for answers.

It took me a moment to find my voice, but finally I roused myself out of my stasis and walked towards him as I explained. "Yes, this is your sketch, the original. After you told me that one day by the wharf that James kept it, I decided to do whatever I could to get it back for you. I did a lot of research, tried to find ways that I could blackmail him into giving it back. When I had as much information as I could get, I went to see him in his office. I was prepared to go pretty far to get it back for you, but in the end it was almost too easy. I did have to threaten to release the video Seth took to get him to let me into his office, but once I was in there it was simply a matter of taking the frame off his wall and walking out the door with it."

"And he just let you do that?" Jasper was rightfully incredulous.

"I pointed out that he could either let me walk out with it or explain to the police why he had property he stole from his ex-boyfriend in his office. James knew that making a scene could bring up other embarrassing questions, so he let me go. I think for him this was a trophy, and while he valued it, he valued his business and his reputation more."

He turned around again to examine the sketch. I walked up until I stood right behind him. I wanted to put my arms around him, but I wasn't sure yet that they would be welcome.

"And you've had it all this time?" he asked in wonder.

"I had it wrapped and intended to give it to you after we came back from Forks that Easter Sunday, but that night one thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom, and I forgot all about it. By the time I thought about it again, you were gone."

I heard his startled gasp and wished I knew what he was thinking.

"Is this..?" he spoke cautiously. "Was this what you brought with you when you came to Rochester?"

"Yes," I admitted. He sighed heavily and hung his head. "What is it, Jasper?" I asked, alarmed at the sudden change in his demeanor. "Did I make a mistake again? If you don't want this.."

"No!" his retort was immediate and strong. "I do want it!" He turned around and looked at me, his expression half tortured, half wild. "Of course I want it. It's a gift beyond anything I could ever imagine. It's just, when I think back...I was such an idiot! How can you ever forgive me?"

He stepped forward as much as possible, which wasn't even half a step, and dropped his forehead to rest on my shoulder. My arms automatically wrapped around him as I held him tightly, trying to offer comfort.

"I don't understand, Jas. What is there to forgive? You haven't done anything."

"Yes, yes I have," he protested. "I made these horrible assumptions that were all wrong. I was so stupid," he berated himself. I hated hearing it on a night that was supposed to be a celebration.

"Jas, stop, please. I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever it is, it's in the past, and we'd already forgiven each other for all that, remember? We agreed to put it behind us? I wanted to give this to you because I knew this was important to you, not to bring up painful memories, and especially not to make you feel guilty about anything. When I went to get this back it was mostly for you, but also a little bit for me, because I've always loved the way you looked in this sketch. The boy in this sketch was my best friend. This boy was by my side through everything growing up and he loved me unconditionally, even when I was a complete shit. This boy was my first love. And the man he grew into," I leaned back so that he couldn't rest his chin on my shoulder and had to look at me. "That man is still my love. It's you, Jasper. It's always been you, from the moment we met. There hasn't been a day since then that I haven't thought about you in some way. All I want in life is to love you and be with you and make you happy. And I thought getting this sketch back would make you happy, not make you feel bad about what happened in the past."

"It does make me happy," he nodded as he spoke and blinked furiously to prevent the tears that had pooled in his eyes from falling. "You make me happy. This is an amazing gift, Edward. I could never...There's nothing I could ever give you that would come close to this."

"Just be with me. That's the greatest gift. It's the only thing I want."

"I'm here. I'm yours. And you're finally mine," he said, and then began kissing me. His kisses were hard and passionate, and I knew both our lips would be bruised the next day but it didn't seem to matter to either of us. The decorations, chocolate, even the sketch was forgotten as we made our way to the bed and, caught up in a rush of desire, frantically began stripping off our clothes.

As good as he looked in the outfit he had worn to dinner, he looked so much better out of it. I nearly ripped his shirt buttons off in my haste to undo them, but I would have bought him a dozen replacements, because seeing the expanse of his chest and back appear before my eyes was totally worth it. I couldn't get enough, running my hands all over him, tasting him with my lips and tongue.

Where the previous day it was important to take our time, this night we were both entirely too eager and needful to proceed slowly. Garments flew through the air as we practically tore them off one another in our haste. "Need you," "Want you" and "Yes!" echoed through the room, combined with the iconic sucking and slurping sounds of two men frantically giving and receiving pleasure. I was fevered and crazed and even the wet heat of his willing mouth was not enough to satisfy me. I needed to sink into him, joining us together so closely no one would ever be able to come between us again.

Wanting him desperately right there, but knowing he needed preparation, I hooked his ankles over my shoulders and sank between his spread legs to run my tongue over and around his opening. His husky moan spurred me on, and I pushed my tongue against the gating muscle until it gave way. I pressed deeper in, penetrating him, feeling the softness on his internal walls with my tongue. This was as intimate as two men could get, and he not only allowed it, but was encouraging me with his sighs and movements. I wished I could go on doing this for hours, but my own throbbing cock wouldn't let me forget the ultimate goal, so I withdrew my tongue and proceeded to liberally coat my index finger with my saliva, before reaching out to circle it around Jasper's tight knot. I threw a quick glance at the nightstand, where we had stashed the condoms and lube. I knew I would need both, but I wasn't quite ready to leave him. Thinking the saliva was lubrication enough, I pressed the tip of my finger against the puckered skin of his opening. It was only then I remembered his sensitivity from that morning's ride. One small wince and a quiet hiss was enough to give me pause.

"Shit, Jasper, I'm sorry. I completely forgot," I said contritely, pulling back from him.

"What? No! It's fine, Edward. I want it. I want you!" he encouraged.

"I'm not going anywhere. You can have me any time you want, but nothing says we have to do this tonight. I can make you feel good in other ways."

"I know you can, but that doesn't mean you should. Edward, please, I need you inside me."

"But I haven't even started to prepare you and you were already in..." I was going to say "pain," but I was interrupted. The whole thing felt surreal. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be trying to talk Jasper out of demanding that I make love to him.

"I'm fine, Edward. I'm not trying to be hero or a martyr. If I couldn't handle it, I'd say something, and I'm telling you I'm fine. Though maybe..." he hesitated and I seized on this pause like a man floating in the ocean would on a passing plank.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe we could be a little less, um, active tonight."

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting, Jasper. Let's be less active tonight. Let me take care of you, or we can take care of each other, like we did up in Stehekin," I suggested.

He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "That was really good," he acknowledged, "but tonight I just need to feel you inside me. Humor me on this, Edward, please. For my birthday?"

He played his trump card. How could I say no after that?

"I'll even prepare myself," he offered.

A part of me wanted to protest, because I strongly felt this was something I should do for him, but on this particular occasion having him do it made too much sense. My need to be chivalrous had to be overridden by what was in his best interest.

"Okay," I nodded. "I want to participate but yeah, maybe just this time it would be better if you did the prep."

I retrieved the condoms and lube and drizzled some of the liquid onto his fingers, watching him spread it around. I reached for his cock with one hand and mine with the other, mindful not to block the view. He moved his slicked hand between his legs and I stared, fascinated and mesmerized, as his fingers circled his opening. I began to stroke us both in time with his middle finger, which began to slowly move in and out of his hole, a little less of it visible with each thrust.

Although I was almost completely transfixed, I did manage to tear my gaze away from him for a moment to look at his face, only to find him watching me. "That is really hot!" I admitted. "I'm gonna hold onto that image for a long time and think of it when we're on the phone together, fantasize about you actually doing that while we talk."

He smiled, even as his eyelids hooded his lust filled eyes until they were almost completely closed. "Not so much a fantasy as reality. I've done it before and I'm sure I'll do it again." He sped up his movements and I quickened mine accordingly. "Of course, when I do it at home, I don't usually have an audience, or an assistant," without pausing he opened his eyes fully for a moment and grinned. Then he inhaled as his deepest thrust yet caused his back to arch and hips to lift off the bed and his eyes shuttered again, his face the picture of temporary satisfaction.

I continued my double fisted pumping while watching him add his index finger to the middle and use them both to lubricate and stretch himself. It would have been hot anyway, without the two rock-hard cocks in my hand, and without knowing that he was doing what he was doing because he wanted me inside him, but all those factors combined made it absolutely scorching. I released my dick, knowing I'd have absolutely no trouble maintaining my erection, and leaned back down to between his legs. With my other hand still moving like a piston over his shaft, I slipped my lips just around his head and began circling and flicking it with my tongue.

"Edward!" he cried out, hips elevating again. "Oh, God!"

With my free hand I reached for his balls, cupping them and just barely running my fingertips over the tightening, sensitive skin. I couldn't see anymore, but I could feel his hand move even faster and could hear his breathing grow harsher. I felt his other hand in my hair, tugging, yanking, trying to pull me off him.

'Please, Edward, I'm ready. Fuck me!"

I released him and elevated myself to my elbow. "Are you sure?" I asked. "We could easily finish like this."

"Edward, I told you, I can easily finish like this at home. Tonight I don't want the cheap imitation - I want the real thing. I know you're trying to look out for me, but I'm only going to be out here with you for a few more days. I don't care if I can't walk for a week after I get back to New York, I'm not gonna let that stop us from being together. I'm ready," he repeated. "Please."

I couldn't tell him no. I pushed back to my knees and reached for a condom, tearing open the packet. "Put it on me?" I asked, seeing that he was watching. He didn't hesitate, sitting up and moving closer to me. He didn't immediately take the condom, choosing to kiss me instead. Kneeling on the bed, facing each other, we moved together as close as we possibly could without one penetrating the other. There wasn't a millimeter of space between us. His hot skin throbbed with life against my own, and yet the proximity was soothing.

For a while we got lost in the magic of lips and tongues dancing and flirting together while our hands explored as much skin as reach would allow. As much as I wanted to go further, I also didn't want to stop. Kissing Jasper was a most exquisite delicacy. He tasted like pheasant and cappuccino and chocolate, but most of all like him - the flavor I had missed all those years. I knew deep in my soul that no matter how often we did this, and regardless for how long, I would never have enough.

Eventually, Jasper pulled back. We were both breathing heavily, and more than ready to take the next step. Jasper took the opened packet, retrieved the condom and unrolled it over me, making sure the fit was good and carefully getting rid of the air bubbles. I opened the lube and drizzled some over me, then watched his hand glide over my length to make sure it was evenly and well coated.

"What position would be best for you?" I had some ideas of my own, but this was the fulfillment of his wish, his desire, so it made sense to let him choose. I was fairly certain I'd be able to accommodate just about any request. Clearly surprised, he took a moment to consider.

Clearly surprised, he took a moment to consider. "Lie down on your back," he finally said. I complied, managing not to frown with concern. I knew we joked about him riding me earlier, but I didn't think that would be the most comfortable position for him tonight. However, since I gave him the choice, I was determined not to complain.

He lay fully on top of me, his lips seeking mine again, hips flexing so that his staff and mine slid back and forth against each other, further igniting our passion. My mouth was too full and busy devouring his tongue to speak, but my need to be inside him became so overwhelming, I began to worry that I'd come within seconds of entering him. Before I could whine my plea and complaint, however, I realized that this could be exactly what he intended, and that on this night it might be precisely what he needed, so I shut up and did the best I could to keep my desire at bay.

He began to slide upwards, until his face and head were slightly higher than mine. He slipped his left arm beneath my neck and began turning his body over until he was half-laying, half leaning with his back against my right shoulder. His head was still right beside mine and he turned to face me, leaning slightly towards me to kiss me. My confusion must have shown, because he softly whispered, "Trust me," before hooking his left leg over my hip, positioning his now exposed entrance right above my straining cock.

"Oh!" I gasped, suddenly understanding what he was doing. It was perfect. In this position, unless I was hell bent and determined to use brute strength, the force of my thrusts would be naturally blunted and he would have more control over the pace of our coupling. I was suddenly so grateful he had thought of this, anxiety leaving me like air from a popped balloon. I would not have thought of this position, because I wouldn't have worried that it might prevent me from looking at his face or into his eyes, but due to the slight difference in our heights and his ingenuity, this wasn't a problem. In fact, we could comfortably look at each other throughout, or spend the entire time kissing.

"Ready?" he asked, reaching down to help guide me inside him.

"For you? Always!" I murmured, then moved my lips to nuzzle his neck as he slowly sank down onto my cock. He felt so tight and so good around me, I was completely overwhelmed by a feeling of being welcomed home.

"Jesus, that feels good," he whispered, letting his head fall back, exposing his neck to me even more. He let gravity do its work until I was fully inside him, and then he stayed there, neither of us moving, lost in our thoughts and desires.

"It feels amazing," I concurred. I was grateful for the stillness. I needed time to adjust as much as he did. Even before I was ready for more, I felt him slowly lift himself up about halfway and lower back down again. It felt good, but at first his pace was so measured, I wondered if he was trying to torture me or drive me crazy. However, once I remembered that he was still adjusting to my size, and that this would be less hurried and frantic than normal, I naturally accepted and settled into his rhythm.

We didn't talk, not even to say each other's names. Somehow the experience was made more reverent and meaningful without the extraneous vocalizations. There was something so extremely powerful about slowing down enough so we could feel and appreciate every bit of contact, every movement. Our heads were turned towards each other, our eyes locked together and conveying so much love and emotion, words would have been a superfluous distraction. Being inside him like this, hyper-aware of the energy torrent flowing back and forth through the connection between us, was as close to paradise as I could imagine. I found myself wishing we could just stay like this forever, always together, two joined as one. So much so that when he lifted slightly to lean towards me and kiss me just as he began to speed up a little, I very nearly protested. Then I felt the friction intensify with the higher speed. I closed my eyes, lost in the powerful kiss, and plundered his mouth with my tongue. At the same time I reached down to take his far too long neglected cock into my hand, swallowing his resulting pleasurable outcry.

I wanted our lovemaking to last forever, but my body needed release and had quite different ideas. As his cock returned to full hardness and his moans and grunts became louder and needier, I took over and began to flex my hips beneath him, pumping up into him with faster, deeper thrusts. We'd stopped kissing and he just laid on me, his head thrown back over my shoulder and moving back and forth as I impaled him while letting his cock thrust with equal intensity into my hand.

"Edward, fuck! You're so good," his cry broke the silence, and suddenly it was as if the words we'd been holding back all night came flooding out. I turned my head and whispered loving but filthy things into his ear as I fucked him, reveling in every syllable of his enthusiastic and equally filthy responses. I was fully in charge of our lovemaking now, thrusting deep and hard after being reassured by watching him that the vigor wasn't causing him pain. We were both overheated, sweat beading on our skin. I reached over and with the tip of my tongue caught a bead of the salty liquid rolling down his neck. It was a poor substitute for the liquid I would have preferred, which at the moment was leaking onto my hand as I jacked him, but there was no way I would let him go for a taste. That would have to wait for later.

I felt everything inside me coiling up with delicious pre-orgasmic tension as I pressed my cock fully inside him before withdrawing nearly completely and doing it again. I was moving us both closer and closer to the edge, a fact confirmed by his nearly incoherent warnings about coming. I wrapped my free arm around his chest, grasping his pec, at the same time tightening my grip on his erection and trying to maintain some semblance of pace to my thrusts, which had grown erratic with fatigue. Suddenly he turned to me with wide eyes and pressed his lips to mine, then pulled back with a strangled "I love you!" as his back arched and his cock spasmed before releasing a torrent of cum over my hand and his chest. He shot far, some rivulets nearly making it to his shoulder and my chest. The sight of his cum painting his body, the sound of his declaration, and the constrictions of his ass around me as he came, propelled me over the abyss.

"I love you too, Jas," I cried out, jerking my hips upward even as I began to feel my release jetting into the condom. "Aaah!" I lost the ability to speak and merely shouted as the intense orgasm rolled through my entire body. I felt Jasper's body slacken above mine and maintained a tight hold on him while still writhing beneath him, my thrusts now shallow and almost inadvertent, an afterthought to the greatest ecstasy known to man.

Eventually I too stilled completely and we lay together, he resting on top of me, both of us breathing hard. He turned and we kissed again, languidly this this time, nearly all our energies spent. When we broke apart I remembered my urge from before the orgasm, and brought my hand up to my mouth to taste his spilled cream. He watched for a moment, allowing me to sample and smile in satisfaction, before joining me in licking my hand clean.

"This was an amazing birthday celebration, Edward," he said after we shared another deep kiss, both of our mouths coated with his unique flavor. "Best I've ever had. And not," he caught my gaze and held it, "because of the dinner and the presents, although those were wonderful, but because this year we're together, and in love. You said I was the only gift you needed and that's true for me too. I'd learned to live without you, but I didn't even realize how much I'd missed you until we saw each other again at the wedding. Now I can't imagine going back to that, ever. I know it won't be easy, but we have to figure out how to make this work, because I never want us not to be in each other's lives again."

He was getting worked up and I sensed a growing panic as he spoke about the future. It would have been easy to give into my anxiety as well, because I knew we didn't have an easy road ahead, trying to merge lives that were firmly ensconced on the opposite coasts of the country. However, this wasn't a problem we could solve overnight, and I was determined not to let it spoil the time that we did have together, so I pulled him closer and whispered for him not to worry, that we'd figure out a way, but no matter what we'd never let ourselves grow apart the way we had before. I spoke quietly but firmly and confidently, and I felt him relax again in my arms.

I felt myself relaxing as well, all over, enough that I began to slip out of him.

"Jas, Love, Can you move your leg?" I inquired. He unhooked his leg from around my hip. making room for me to grab the base of my cock and slip out of him without the condom slipping off as well. "Crap, I need my other hand to deal with this," I muttered, cursing the need for the fucking condoms in the first place. I couldn't wait until the day we would no longer need them.

"Oh, yeah, right," he lifted his upper body enough so I could slip my arm out from under him. I took off the condom and held it with one hand while tying off the top with the other, then unceremoniously let it drop into the small trash can by the side of the bed.

"We should clean up," he murmured sleepily.

"We can do that later," I offered. "For now, just lay with me. I want to hold you."

Wordlessly, he turned towards me and curled half at my side and half on top of me, his head resting on my chest beneath my chin. I could feel the stickiness of the nearly died jizz against my skin, but I really didn't care. It was too important for the two of us to have this time to relax and enjoy being together to worry about something as mundane as cleaning up the sticky remnants of our lovemaking.

We were quiet for a while, so it surprised me when I heard his spontaneous giggle.

"What?" I asked, not wanting to be left out of the joke.

"Nothing. It’s just, you were gonna wear your new cowboy hat tonight, I guess we both forgot. Oh well, you'll just have to put it on tomorrow."

I smiled at his silliness, and hugged him closer to me. "For you, I'll happily put it on any time you want."

We continued to lay together in silence, eventually dozing off for a while. When we woke up, we helped each other clean up and then set up a blanket in front of the fireplace, rolling the fondue bar over for a spontaneous picnic. It felt nice and decadent, lounging around together in the nude, sipping champagne and feeding each other chocolate dipped fruit, pretzels and shortbread, licking the dripping chocolate off the other's fingers or whatever other body part it happened to drip onto. This was exactly the evening I envisioned.

I noticed from time to time Jasper's eyes drifted to the sketch. At one point he saw that I caught him looking and he flushed a little. "I'm sorry - I don't mean to be distracted by it. It's just that I never imagined I'd see it again, and it's been such a long time. There are details in the sketch that I just didn't remember, and I can't believe I was ever that young and innocent. I guess that didn't last long."

I tried not to show it, but his comment was painful to hear, especially knowing that I was largely responsible for him losing that innocence and trust he mistakenly placed in others, including me. He'd been lucky that the artist he ran into in Paris had been kind and loving. I shuddered a little, for the first time realizing that but for a bit of good fortune, Jasper's first time might have turned out very differently. Laurent could easily have been like me or, worse, like that bastard, James.

"And yet," Jasper continued, unaware of my thoughts, arranging his butt on the blanket between my widespread legs and leaning back against me, "as much as I thought I'd matured, you still helped me exorcise some ghosts this week. Thank you for that," he said and looked back at me over his shoulder, puckering his lips for a kiss. I leaned over and brushed my lips over his, but I couldn't just let his statement rest.

"You're welcome, Love, but I'm not really sure what I did."

"Hmm," he pondered. "How can I explain? You know how sometimes your mind creates negative associations with things that have nothing to do with reality and everything to do with circumstances? Like when you eat certain food and then get sick for a completely unrelated reason, but you can never eat that food again anyway?"

"Yeah..." I replied hesitantly, wondering where he was going.

"I've had a lot of those, mostly centered around James and the things he did. Things that I had negative associations with not because of what they were, but because he had done them. This week you helped me get over many of those."

"Oh," I said blankly. I didn't know exactly how I felt about his statement.

"He took me to a place like this once, a fancy resort with a suite with a fireplace and an in-room hot tub," he spoke matter-of-factly and I was so glad he couldn't see me cringing and cursing Seth for suggesting that I do the same on this vacation. "At the time, I thought it was his way of showing me he loved me, but later I realized he was just luring me in. That was the weekend he asked me to move in with him. Everything he ever gave me was designed to confuse me or make me feel beholden to him or to change me. I didn't really realize it until you pointed it out the day I left, when he brought over that bag, remember?" he turned back to look at me and I quickly rearranged my face into a neutral expression, hiding the pain I felt at his recollections and the direction of his thoughts. I nodded instead of replying, not certain what I would sound like if I tried to speak.

"You made me see all those things in a different way, and that was good, but then my mind overcorrected. Instead of just seeing the evil in what he was doing, I saw evil in the actions themselves, apart from him. That night, after we came back from Forks and you told me everything and we...that night I went out into the living room to think, and I saw the wrapped gift. Combined with my over analysis of everything else you said and didn't say that night, that gift seemed like a red flag. It just reminded me too much of James and the things he did. I was terrified. I didn't know what to do, so I ran. When you came to see me in Rochester, seeing the gift bag on top of you showing up so unexpectedly when I thought you had no idea where I was, just the same way James had after I left him, brought up all the wrong associations. Since then, it's always been difficult for me to accept gifts from men, except friends and my family. It was almost impossible not to imagine strings attached to every gift."

I groaned softly, thinking about the tie bar I'd given him, which had a literal reference of binding us together, and the tickets to Brussels, which came with the expectation that we would be traveling together in the future. I thought I was doing all right, but obviously everything I'd chosen had been exactly wrong. And as if that wasn't enough, I finished with a sketch, which must have brought him right back to the place he never wanted to revisit. If I had been near a wall, I would have wanted to pound my head against it. Except Jasper wouldn't have let me. Immediately upon hearing my groan he shifted, moving until he was kneeling in front of me.

"Wait, whatever it is you're thinking, it's not right. Hear me out, okay?" he put his arms around my neck and looked at me so earnestly that I couldn't do anything but nod my assent. He shifted again, spreading his legs to straddle my thighs, pushing my legs together beneath him. He wrapped his legs around me, crossing them so I could feel his heels digging into my ass, and pressed himself up against me, leaving almost no space between us. "This trip, being here with you, finally helped me put things in the right context. Talking with you at Seth's wedding and the following day, and every time since then, helped me learn to trust you. I hope I'm right, but I don't think you have a hidden agenda. We love each other, and I feel that love in everything you do. The way you so easily agreed to change plans our first night went a long way to reassure me. James would have never allowed me to even suggest a change of plans like that. And he never would have forgotten the lube," he chuckled and I had to smile as well. "He always had to be in control, but you totally gave that up. And you were so excited to show me Stehekin, and your friends there were so excited to see you - that couldn't have been manufactured or faked. So by the time we pulled up to this resort, I didn't have any concerns. I knew you were doing all this for the right reasons."

"I just wanted to make you happy and show you how much I love you," I confirmed.

"I know that. I can feel it. You're not trying to manipulate me. With James, he made all the decisions, even the most minor ones, like what I should have for dinner. This is completely different. You go out of your way to give me options. And when I freak out, you somehow know the right things to say to calm me back down. Just like all those years ago you forced me to see what James was doing, now you helped me see that the motivation behind similar actions can be completely different. You'd think I would have figured that out before, but I never did."

"So you're okay with the gifts, and the hotel and everything?" I needed his reassurance.

"I'm more than okay with it. I love and appreciate everything you've done. But most of all, I love you and the man you've become."

He kissed me. It started off slow and sweet, but gradually grew more and more passionate. Although it hadn't been more than an hour since we made love, our cocks, trapped between us, were growing as well, pressing against our stomachs and each other. Without releasing my lips, Jasper moaned and began rocking his hips against me, arousing me even more. He wound one of his hands into my hair while slipping the other down my back to my ass. My own hands were roaming his back as well, until they settled cupped beneath his butt cheeks, helping his rocking motion.

"I want you, Edward," he said, moving his head back just far enough to get out the words. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I almost wish we hadn't made love earlier, because I really want you inside me now."

My heart rate and breathing quickened, as they always did when he announced his needs. His cock slid against mine, our dripping precum providing some lubrication. Still, as hard and excited as I was, I remembered the way he winced on the horseback ride that morning, and how careful we had to be at first earlier this evening. Another round would only make things worse.

"Jas, you know I love you and I love making love with you, but once tonight was enough. Remember how you felt this morning?"

Jasper continued to rock against me, albeit lightly. "I know you're right, but I so want to share that with you again."

With him erect and pressing against me, it was getting difficult to think clearly, but even through the haze I knew that more of the same that night was not going to happen. Then I realized that there was another possibility.

"Jas, what if...What if you made love to me?"

"You want me to ride you?" he considered for a moment. I could see he was considering the pros and cons of what he thought I requested.

"Any other night I'd just get my hat, turn you into Uno and ride that gorgeous cock of yours form here to Texas and back. It probably wouldn't work tonight, though," he said regretfully.

"Um..." I paused for a moment, suddenly terrified, yet somehow exhilarated. "That's not quite what I meant. I guess I was proposing that you... that you top me."

He stilled. The room was silent save for our heavy breathing and the unnaturally loud pounding of my heart. Slowly, Jasper leaned back to look at me. I willed myself to meet his gaze, even though I desperately wanted to look away. I made the offer willingly and consciously, but that didn't mean I didn't have concerns.

"Edward, have you bottomed before?" he asked, suddenly very serious. I shook my head slowly, a flush creeping up my neck and face.

"Is it something you've been thinking about? Something you've been planning to ask me?"

That was a harder question, but I wanted to be completely honest with him, so I shook my head again.

"If you haven't been thinking about it, why in the world would you suggest it now, out of the blue?" Jasper asked with genuine curiosity. This time a head shake was not going to cut it.

"I suppose," I said, sounding unusually timid to my ears, "because I too would like to make love again tonight, and that's one way we can do that that without causing you any additional pain," I explained.

"It might be painful for you, though," he pointed out. "Your first time, it's almost guaranteed to hurt, especially with someone who hasn't topped before."

"You've never topped?" I asked, somewhat surprised. Obviously I knew there were men who preferred to bottom exclusively, but Jasper gave off such a strong vibe sometimes, I assumed that he, like Cliff and Emmett, switched, at least on occasion.

"No," he confirmed. "And with both of our lack of experience in those respective roles it would be inevitable, I think, that you'd feel some discomfort. I'd do what I could to avoid or minimize it, of course, but..."

I swallowed loudly. "It's okay," I said. "I mean, that's only fair. You were in pain this morning."

"I was a little uncomfortable, true, but for me that's a good kind of pain. It was just a reminder of what a fantastic time I had the night before, doing something I very much enjoyed with the man I love, who happens to be an excellent lover. But I'm a bottom, Edward. I take pleasure from that. The slight discomfort is totally worth it for me, because I enjoy what causes it so very much. You probably would not."

"But..." I tried voicing my argument again, only to be silenced by the shake of his head.

"Sex between two men who love each other should be about what they want and enjoy, not about trade-offs and fairness. You're a natural top, an amazing top. I'm a bottom. Together we're a perfect fit. I just don't see any reason to change that, unless this really is something you want to try. Is it, Edward? Do you want me to top you?"